How to Show Affection over the Phone

Easy and impactful ways to communicate thought and care through the phone

Co-authored by John Keegan and Jessica Gibson

Last Updated: August 24, 2022 References

Most of us don't think of our phone as a tool to strengthen relationships, but we should. With thought and intention, you can connect with a person anywhere in the world, especially someone you care a lot about. Phones also make it easier to express love. You can send texts, emojis, and pictures or have a romantic conversation. If you need some creative suggestions for showing that you care, check out our tips below.

1

Stay connected with regular communication.

Texting is important but make time for real chats, too. We all get that people are busy—sometimes even just picking a time to talk can be a challenge. Plan a time to talk on the phone and stick to the schedule. Try to avoid canceling at the last minute unless you absolutely have no other choice.^{[1]
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- Regular phone chats are important if you're in a long-distance relationship. Hearing each other's voices can help you feel a lot closer.

2

Call or text them when they wake up or before bed.

Being their first or last message of the day shows you're thinking of them. If you know the person's going to have a challenging day ahead, texting or leaving them a voicemail first thing can make them feel supported. On the flip side, if they had a long or exciting day, call them in the evening so they know you're eager to hear about it.^{[2]
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- For instance, you could say, "Good morning! How are you feeling about your big day? It's got to be nerve-wracking but I know you'll do great."

3

Give them plenty of sincere compliments.

Describe what you like about their personality so they feel valued. Don't just save your compliments for when you're together in person. Make it a point to regularly note specific things that you love about them. For instance, you might say, "That was really thoughtful of you to help your sister prep for her exam. You're a really caring person."^{[3]
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John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 28 September 2021.}
- Notice the quirky stuff, too! For example, maybe they have a totally unique fashion sense that you admire or a love of terrible jokes that you find adorable.

4

Show interest in their daily activities.

Inquire about their day, listen thoughtfully, and ask followup questions. Ever noticed that when someone likes you, they pay attention to what you're saying? Give this person the same treatment. Ask them about the little things like their workday, errands, or upcoming plans.^{[5]
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John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 28 September 2021.}
- To show you're listening, ask followup questions like, "Since you're finished with that, what do you think you'll do tomorrow?" or, "It sounds like you have some decisions to make. What do you think you'll do?"
- Giving someone your undivided attention is one of the best ways to show affection.^{[7]
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  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 28 September 2021.}

5

Send a text when you're thinking about them.

You don't have to make it long or dramatic. A simple, "Just thinking about you," lets them know that they're on your mind. Feeling more creative? Text them about things that remind you of them. For example, "I saw a beautiful sunrise this morning and it made me think of you." Here are a few more thoughtful ideas to text:^{[8]
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- How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?
- I was just thinking about you. It made me smile.
- Stop making me think about you! I'm busy.
- Why does it hurt so much when I miss you?

6

Check in with them throughout the day.

Send them thoughtful reminders and helpful hints to show you're connected. This shows that you're thinking of them throughout the day and that you care. Are they notoriously bad at remembering to eat lunch, for instance? Text them, "Hey, time to eat!" If you know they've got a doctor's appointment, you might call and ask them how the exam went. You get the idea—be there for the person even when you can't physically be together.^{[9]
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- Celebrate them throughout the day, too! Did they pass a tricky exam or get a new job? Call to congratulate them or send them a fun celebratory GIF.

7

Call or text them to say thanks.

Remember to express gratitude to show your appreciation. Everyone likes feeling valued so drop them a text to say that you're grateful for them. If you've got more time, give them a call or leave them a voicemail. Sometimes, a simple message like, "Thank you for being you," is all it takes to show your affection.^{[10]
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- You could also text something like, "Thanks for working so hard to take care of me," or, "Thank you for making me feel so special when I'm with you."

8

Use a video chat app to visually connect.

Seeing each other’s faces can help you feel closer. Although it's no substitute for physically getting together, being able to express yourself on a video screen help you keep your connection strong. You don't have to save video chats for important stuff—talk about your day, how much you miss the person, or go on a virtual date.^{[11]
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- For example, if you're in a long-distance relationship, make plans to video chat while you watch a movie together or set your camera in the kitchen so you can prepare dinner together.
- FaceTime, WhatsApp, Google Duo, and Facebook Messenger are popular options.

9

Send a virtual hug.

A random hug emoji can make them feel special. Sure, a virtual hug isn't quite the same as wrapping your arms around someone, but it's the next best thing. You can choose either the happy emoji face with two hands open in a hug or an emoji of two people hugging. Either way, this simple image can brighten someone's day.^{[12]
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- On Twitter or Facebook? You can easily message them a hug emoji or GIF using those apps.

10

Share fun, sweet, or memorable photos and videos.

Send them photos or short videos that you think they'd like. A picture's worth a thousand words, right? Snap a shot of something they'd love and send it to them. This shows that they're on you're mind and you care about them even when you're not together. You might send them a short video of the two of you if you're missing the person and want to remind them of how much you care.^{[13]
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- For instance, do a throwback photo of when you first started dating, send them a pic from somewhere you went on your anniversary, or share a sweet video you took of them. You could also film a short video of yourself doing something silly or romantic to share with them.

11

Send flirty texts to have fun with them.

Show your playful side and build anticipation for when you see each other. If you're direct, you might send something like, "You. Me. Takeout. Tonight," or "What would you say if I asked you to come over right now?" Don't be afraid to be bold! You'll get them excited to see you again.^{[14]
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- Feeling stuck with what to text? Try sending a few lines of their favorite poem or some lyrics from a song that means something special to you both.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I express my love over the phone?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Relate back to them from what they're saying. This is a great way for that person to feel loved and connected with. They will feel like you really get them, and this will reinforce the will to keep the relationship.
Question

How do I show more affection?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

During your conversations, try stopping and actually paying attention to that person as they're talking. You should really be fully engaged in the conversation to make the other one feel embraced by you.
Question

How can I make my boyfriend crazy about me?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try offering words of encouragement and words of affirmation. Also, experiment with playful little jokes or teasing, like inside jokes. It all depends on how developed your relationship really is, though. You know, just try being easier and lighter with the person on the phone.