How to Seduce a Woman Online

Last Updated: November 13, 2021 References

Want to know how to cultivate a magnetic and electric personality that'll make women want to be with you? You can learn to meet women, thrill them with your virtual chatting skills, and seal the deal for a hook-up.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Meeting Women Online

1
Join a variety of dating sites and use dating apps. You're not going to meet any real women on Craigslist, or in some chatroom. That's how you get catfished. You want to meet real women online and flirt your way into a meet up? Get on dating sites and use dating apps.^{[1]
X
Research source} Use all of them. If you want to be seducing a woman soon, you need to get on all of the following:
- Tinder
- Down (aka Bang with Friends)
- Pure
- OkCupid
- eHarmony
- Match
- Meet Up
2
Post some flattering pictures of yourself. Yes, real pictures, not pictures of Channing Tatum. Change them up occasionally to attract attention to your profile. Keep them current so your date recognizes you at a glance without disappointment, or you're wasting your time.
- Make sure they highlight your best attributes. No x-rated shots, or ridiculous drunken night selfies. Also, nobody cares about your car. You're trying to attract women, not a bunch of dudes from AutoZone.
3
Write about yourself honestly. Most apps and sites require you to fill in a short bio section to describe yourself. What do you say? Just the truth. If you want to attract women that you'll be attracted to and who will be attracted to you, then it's a good idea to not try to make yourself sound like something that you're not.
- Use specific and honest details. What's a regular day like for you? What do you like to do? What do you enjoy? You don't have to make yourself look "good," or sound "smart" to attract a woman's attention. You just need to let your personal sense of humor be on display. That'll be easier to keep up anyway.
- Look at other profiles for good examples, before you put up much about yourself. Avoid things you see that seem lame, or seem too desperate. try to remember: Lists of travel locations and books you've read can all start to look the same. try to be unique.^{[2]
  X
  Research source}
- Don't focus too much on what you are or aren't looking for in a woman because it can rule out both the ones you want and don't want to meet. At the same time, it's good to use words like "casual" and "hang out" if you're not interested in a big relationship, but are interested in hook-ups.
4
Search through profiles to see who catches your eye. This is the fun part. Just cruise around the site for a while and see who catches your eye, and whether or not that woman might be good to get to know for a while. Then you can turn on the charm.
- Keep an eye out for good buzz-words. If a woman puts up that she's not interested in a long-term relationship right now, that might be someone to check out if you're not either. Depending on what you're interested in, keep an eye out for someone who has the same interests and goals.
- Keep an eye out for obviously bad signs, too. Anyone who says they "Don't want any drama" is obviously a drama-creator. Anyone who says they
- Most dating apps will filter so that you only see people in your area, so you don't have to worry about traveling or trying to figure out too many logistics. It's a good idea to avoid starting a long-distance relationship online, unless that's what you're looking for.
5
Send an initial message to make contact. try to remember: For every message you send to a woman, she might get 25-100 others. What are you going to say that will catch her attention? What can you say that will stand out from the crowd? Be personal, specific, funny, and keep it light, above all.
- Find a specific thing on her profile, or a picture to tease her about. If she has a picture of herself riding a horse in the mountains, write something like, "That horse looks like it would really do some damage to linoleum floors. I guess they probably hassle you about it when you ride it into saloons and such. Good thing I have a car if you ever want to meet for a drink."
- Write different messages to each person. Copy-pasted messages stand out like turds in punch bowls. Give a woman the courtesy of actually having something to say to her.
- Avoid coming off as whitebread, or basic. Don't use phrases like, "I'm just a regular average guy, pretty laid back and I like having a good time." So what? Who doesn't? Aim a little higher.
- Don't go overboard on compliments because chances are she's so used to hearing them that she wouldn't even notice you.
6
Talk to lots of women. People don't like to admit it, but meeting women online is a numbers game. Send out lots of messages, every day, and get to know as many different girls as possible. You have to be willing to put in some hours looking at different profiles, finding girls you'd like to talk to, and actually talking to them. There's no shortcut. You have to do the work.
- Don't get fixated on seducing one woman. There's going to be a lot of rejection involved in this. Spread the love around.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Flirting Online

1
Don't tell her that you like her. This is an absolute must. If you reach out and send someone a message, it's obvious that you're interested. Saying so out loud will only make you look desperate and needy, or insecure. You want to seem like the opposite of that. You want to seem like a mysterious and magnetic personality that she must get to know. In person.
- Lots of guys launch into compliments and really seem to over-do it. Many women will respond to this, but they're not really interested. If you want to actually get with a girl, start an emotional connection and a conversation, not an empty compliment.
2
Tease her. Some studies show that when we feel both positive and negative emotions at the same time, there is a kind of magnetic reaction that happens, which is often attraction. A common tactic that works especially well online is to gently and kindly tease a woman while you're chatting via text, email, or IM, about something.^{[3]
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Research source}
- Just be friendly and joking with a woman.^{[4]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Julianne Cantarella
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.} Don't be flat-out mean. There's a difference between saying something gently teasing, "That picture of you on a horse makes me scared you're going to out-drink me and shoot me in the chest with your six gun. But I don't know if you have that in you..." and saying something like, "A woman who likes horses. Typical." That's not funny, or charming.
3
Don't just talk, have something specific and interesting to say. Pick something in her profile, or something that you notice about her in a picture and start there.^{[5]
X
Expert Source

Julianne Cantarella
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.} Never start a chat with nothing but, "hey" or "what up." That doesn't give you any spark. You're going to get nowhere starting a conversation with nothing.^{[6]
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Research source}
- If you can't find anything you want to say other than, "Jeez you're hot and I'd love to hang out," lead with a silly or random question to get talking about something more interested: "I'd like to say something more interesting, but I'm a little stunned by your picture. To get around this, I have to ask: If you had twenty minutes left on earth, what would you do first?"
4
Get her talking. Ask questions to get a woman talking, flirting comfortably, and being comfortable with you. Listen to what she says and follow up with witty responses that will keep her interested. You want to make her want to talk to you.
- Ask open-ended questions, not closed ones. "What's up?" is always going to be, "Not much." Instead, say, "What have you been doing since we talked last?" or better yet, ask follow-up questions. If she mentions a recent trip, ask, "What was that like? What was your favorite part? What was the worst thing you ate?" Give her things to say.
- Try to be positive and show that you have really read her profile. For example, if you've seen she's a scuba diver and you've never been scuba diving, mention that and try talking about it.^{[7]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Julianne Cantarella
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.}
- Don't push it, and wait patiently for her messages. If you haven't gotten a response right away, don't write again until you do. If the messages drop dead after you gave her something specifically to respond to, the conversation is dead.
5
Don't initiate the sex talk. Guys come off like single-minded hounds way too often on the Internet. If you want to stand out, that's not the way to do it. If you're chatting on a dating site, she knows you're interested.
- Sometimes, a little innuendo is fine, but keep it G-rated. If you're describing anything graphic, that's not going to be flirtatious, it's just going to be pornographic. Wouldn't you rather wait for the real thing?
- Never, under any circumstances, should your first message involve any kind of sex joke or reference to a sex act, or a reference to what's between your legs. This isn't a funny way to stand out. It's a juvenile joke that only other dudes will think is funny.
6
Be the one who ends the conversation. Ideally, you want to be in demand. When she think of you, she should be thinking that she wants more. Often, online chats and conversations will kind of peter out naturally, and you'll both just run out of things to say. Before it gets to that, try to cut it off by saying something like, "Well, I've got to get going. My cat is hungry and is looking at me sideways. I'm scared for my face."
- It's generally good to wait a bit before you talk again, but if you're really having a good conversation, try to keep it going as long as possible. Instead of transitioning to, "Well, I better get going," transition to, "Hey, crazy thought. What if we continued this over a drink tomorrow night?"

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Sealing the Deal

1
Wait a while. Generally, you should have a couple of chats, texts back and forth, or funny conversations on the phone before you try to get a woman to meet you somewhere. It might seem like you're being patient, but it might look to her like, "Hey, I think you're really pretty, oh haha you're funny to, want to meet me right now??" If you lead too quickly, it'll be a turn off.
- There's no good rule of thumb, because every one and every conversation is different. try to feel out each girl you're talking to and wait until she says something positive to you, then don't be pushy.
- Once you've asked, don't bring it up again until she does. You put it out there, so it's unlikely she'll forget that you're interested.
2
Seem like you have your life together. Women aren't interested in meeting man-boys. If your only interests are Xbox, goofing off online, and watching UFC, those aren't things that girls you hope to hook up with need to know about you. Focus on what you're doing right and how well you're put together, and let a little of the other stuff creep in to show you've got a funny side.
- Want to come off like someone who's got it together? Talk about what creative projects you've got going on, but without getting into the nitty gritty.
- Come up with a great way to summarize yourself: "Novelist, explorer of the halfpipe, and body-mod aficionado" sounds a lot better than, "Drop out English major with a skateboard and a septum piercing."
3
Keep some mystery about yourself. If you want to go from "funny online chat guy" to "guy who goes home with someone," you need to learn how to come off as a mysterious sexual force online. That involves a little bit of dynamic mystery in your chatting skills. Pull back a little and don't reveal too much about yourself.
- Don't be too enthusiastic about anything. Don't overdo it with the, "Hahahahaha ur so funny!!!" when she makes a joke. Instead, just write, "Ha" and keep the conversation moving forward with your own contributions to the fun.
4
Ask to meet in person when the time is right. After you've hooked a woman who enjoys talking to you, it's time to pull the trigger and ask her if she wants to go out. There's no big secret to this, other than doing it specifically instead of vaguely. Don't ask someone if they want to get a drink with you "sometime," say, "I know this place that does a great happy hour on Fridays. Interested? I'll be there anyway with some friends."
- Keep your first meeting casual. Meet her with some friends so she feels comfortable, or make it a big and fun event that will be pressure free. Good way to do things.
5
Know when to move on. There's no use in barking up the wrong tree. If something isn't working out, it's much better to stop before you make a mistake. If you don't get a quick response, don't just keep sending messages, or start thinking that you're writing messages in a vacuum. She's getting them. If she's not responding, it's because she doesn't want to. Take it easy, and put your efforts elsewhere.
- You never know when a woman might cycle back through her contact list and say, "Gee, that guy was kind of interesting, maybe I'll send him a message." Never lash out if you get rejected. It's really easy to post that stuff to Facebook and make you look like a total idiot.