The 11 Best Ways to Respond to an "I'm Thinking About You" Text

Co-authored by Julianne Cantarella and Christopher M. Osborne, PhD

Last Updated: February 25, 2022

“I’m thinking about you” texts are often flirtatious in nature, and there are a lot of ways you can respond to them. You can be flirty, funny, subtle, or direct, and you can encourage the person to keep thinking about you or redirect their unwanted attention—to name just a few options listed in this article. As an added bonus, check out the end of the article if you’ve instead received a friendly or sympathetic “I’m thinking of you” text.

1

“The thought of you thinking about me is really exciting!”

Reveal your interest by flattering them with a flirty compliment. Choose something you know they take pride in—like their sense of style, sports skills, or sense of humor—and tell them that you really noticed them in that way. For example:^{[1]
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- “Me too. I keep thinking about how you looked in that sweater today.”
- “I couldn’t take my eyes off you at the basketball game Friday night. You were on fire from three-point land!”

2

“Hmm, I was thinking about tacos but I like where you’re headed here.”

Use humor with a flirty twist to show off your fun side. You can be funny in a completely random way or use “inside joke” humor you know they’ll like. Either way, add a flirtatious touch to your humor. For example:^{[2]
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- “While you have your thinking cap on, wanna see if you can figure out a NSFW riddle?”
- “You think, therefore I am … intrigued (Hey, what do you expect from a philosophy major!)”
- Humor is a great way to appeal to other people.^{[3]
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  Expert Source
  
  Julianne Cantarella
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.}

3

“Then think about this—I can’t wait to see you Saturday.”

Build anticipation to give them more reason to think about you. You don’t need to have any grand plans here—just let them know that you’re looking forward to seeing them soon. This strategy can work whether it’ll be your first meetup or if you see each other every day. For instance:^{[4]
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- “Then you’ll be happy to know I’m just putting the finishing touches on our date for Friday. Trust me—you won’t be disappointed."
- “That reminds me—I have a great story to share with you at lunch tomorrow. Believe me, you don’t wanna miss it!”

4

“Same here. Wanna go grab a cup of coffee at that place on Market Street?”

Propose a get-together if you know that’s what you want. If you’re really interested in hanging out, going out, meeting up, or hooking up with this person, seize their “thinking about you” text as an opportunity to make your move. Instead of being slightly vague like they were, feel free to be crystal clear. For example:^{[5]
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- ”Then now’s the right time for me to ask you out! Would you like to catch a movie Friday night?”
- “So what do you think about me coming over right now?”

5

“Thank you, that’s nice to hear.”

Thank them as a neutral response that puts the ball in their court. If you can’t come up with a great way to respond, don’t worry—a simple “thank you” text is always a solid option. It’s quick, it’s thoughtful, and it leaves it up to them to decide if and how to text you back. Here are a few examples:
- “Thanks so much, that made me smile.”
- “Cool—I appreciate it.”

6

“Great to hear from you. Hey, how’s that new job going?”

Change the subject to get out of flirting territory. This gets your point across in a subtle way. They’ll realize that you’re not thinking about them in the same way they’re thinking about you. But, at the same time, you still get to be friendly. For instance:
- “Glad you texted. Been meaning to ask you a question about that history assignment.”
- “Can you believe how that game ended tonight? Triple OT!”

7

"Mind if I give you a call? I’m more comfortable talking than texting about this."

Ask to talk directly if you’re unsure how to proceed. This move buys you time to figure out your next move. It’s also a great option if you’re not confident in your ability to get your point across via text message. Try something like the following:
- “This seems like something we should talk about in person. Find me in the cafeteria tomorrow and we’ll chat.”
- “Please call me if you can. I’d really like to have a conversation about this.”

8

"You’re a nice person, but I’m really just interested in being friends."

Be politely honest if the text makes you uncomfortable. So long as you’re not unnecessarily rude or hurtful, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with shutting down their effort. Just let them know they should spend their time “thinking about” someone else. For instance:
- “I feel uncomfortable when you send a text like that. Please accept that I don’t share how you feel.”
- “I like texting with you, but I don’t like the way things are headed. Can we change the subject? Thanks.”^{[6]
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  Expert Source
  
  Julianne Cantarella
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.}
- "I appreciate it, but this type of conversation is making me feel uncomfortable."^{[7]
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  Expert Source
  
  Julianne Cantarella
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.}
- Try to keep your message light and authentic as you turn them down.^{[8]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Julianne Cantarella
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.}

9

"..."

Ignore a short, zero-effort text if you want. It may be the best way to make your point. Ask yourself this: is the text so short and generic that you’d have no way of knowing if it was mistakenly sent to you instead of someone else? If so, don’t feel bad about responding to such a weak effort with silence. They’ll either try harder or move on!
- If this person frequently sends you super short messages, there's a good chance that they're not interested.^{[9]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Julianne Cantarella
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.}

10

“Thank you so much. I really appreciate your friendship.”

Let your friend know you appreciate their thoughtfulness. A friend might send you a “thinking of you” text if they know you’re having a stressful day, if you haven’t chatted for a while, or just because they wanted to. All it takes is a quick reply text to show your appreciation—for example:
- “Right back at you! I hope you’re doing well.”
- “You’re like the best friend ever—thanks!”
- “Thanks—let’s do lunch sometime this week.”

11

“Thank you. Hope you’re doing well.”

Share only as much as you are comfortable with if you get a sympathy text. If you’ve gone through a traumatic experience, like the death of a loved one, people will naturally reach out with “thinking of you” messages. It’s a thoughtful gesture, so try to thank them, but also don’t feel obligated to go into detail about your experience—unless you want to. For instance:
- “Thanks for your thoughtful words. I’ll try to send you a message in a few days when I’ve hopefully been able to process what’s happened a bit more.”
- “Thanks. Having friends like you helps me believe I can get through this.”
- “Thank you. To say the last week has been rough would be a huge understatement, but I’m hanging in there.”

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you respond to a "hey you" text?

Julianne Cantarella
Dating & Relationship Coach
Julianne Cantarella is a Dating Coach, Certified Life Coach, Licensed Social Worker, and the CEO and President of New Jersey's Matchmaker. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in helping women heal from a heartbreak and create healthy long-term relationships. Julianne created a comprehensive transformational date coaching program From First Date to Soulmate™ that has helped hundreds of women find love. She holds a Bachelor of Social Work (BSW) from Ramapo College of New Jersey and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from Fordham University. Julianne has contributed to numerous media such as Your Tango Online Magazine, 24Seven Wellness Magazine, and Talk of The Town Magazine. She has also been featured as a relationship expert on CBS, iHeartRadio, and PBS “This Emotional Life Project.”

Julianne Cantarella

Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

Suggest that they give you a call rather than replying. It's important to know that your relationship is going somewhere, and that the other person isn't just "keeping you in the queue."