How to Respond to a Friend Zone Text

Co-authored by Lauren Sanders

Last Updated: May 22, 2022

If you just received a "let's be friends" text, you might be feeling like you're now stuck in the friend zone forever. It's totally alright to feel a little bummed about getting a text like this, and you might be confused about what you should say in response. This article is here to help you come up with an honest, respectful reply. We've also got some advice on how you can potentially get out of the friend zone and encourage this person to see you as a romantic match.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Responding to a Friend Zone Text

1
Thank the person for their honesty. It takes courage to let someone know that they're only interested in friendship, as some people might just ghost or leave you hanging. Show the person that you appreciate that they took the time to be real with you and thank them for it. Responding graciously to a friend zone text helps you appear kind, respectful, and confident.^{[1]
X
Research source} Offer a positive comment or compliment about your association/connection with them. You might text:
- "Thanks for being so upfront with me."
- "I really appreciate your honesty. Thank you for letting me know!"
- "I'm a little disappointed, but thank you for telling me the truth."
2
Let them know that you understand. The person sending you this text might be pretty nervous to send it, especially if they really would like to keep being friends with you. Though it may be tough, try to see things from their point of view and tell them that you understand where they're coming from. It'll show them that you don't take their rejection personally and are able to empathize with their perspective.^{[2]
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Research source} Try something like:
- "Of course, I totally get it."
- "I completely understand."
- "That's too bad, but I hear you 🙂"
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3
Tell them that you wish them the best. If you're disappointed, you might be tempted to lash out or just completely ignore them. Though getting a "let's be friends" text can really sting, try your best to wish the person well. It will help you come across as secure in yourself (even without their affection), and will boost your chances of actually remaining friends if that's something that you're comfortable with.^{[3]
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Research source} Try ending your text with something like:
- "All the best."
- "Wishing you well."
- "I'll miss going out, but I still wish only good things for you."
4
Express gratitude for their friendship. As tough as it might be to let go of your romantic feelings, this person's friendship might really be worth it. If that's how you're feeling, let them know that you're still happy to hang out as friends. They'll likely be super relieved that you still want to be pals.
- You might text, "I'm just stoked to have you in my life. You're a great friend!" or "You're still one of the best friends I've ever had. That hasn't changed 😊"
5
Crack a joke to ease the tension. Though the friend zone text might have stung, it's possible that you'd like to just move on and continue joking around. After you've thanked them for their honesty and told them that you understand, try sending a funny GIF or a lighthearted joke. This can help you both feel more comfortable and get back to texting as friends.
- Send them a GIF from a TV show that you both like. Text them something like "Now that we've gotten that out of the way..." along with a SpongeBob SquarePants GIF.
- You might text something humorous, like, "As long as we can still watch bad movies together, I'm happy 😊"

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Getting Out of the Friend Zone over Text

1
Show this person that you’re living your best life. If you want to win this person over, try getting invested in your passions and goals. Make exciting plans for your future and keep an active social life. When the two of you text as friends, give the person updates about all the cool things that you're doing. It'll help you seem like a confident, even more appealing version of yourself. Try:^{[4]
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Research source}
- "Last weekend was so fun. I ended up going on a new hike with some good friends."
- "I've been slammed at work lately. Trying to gun for a promotion!"
- "Been painting nonstop. I'm hoping to start selling my work soon."
2
Be less available to them. Sometimes, people put you in the friend zone because they are taking your generosity and kindness for granted. Make this person miss you a little by filling up your schedule with plans that don't include them and even going on some dates with new people. If you're not available to this person 100% of the time, they might start to realize how much you bring to their life.^{[5]
X
Research source} Next time this person asks you to hang out, say something like:
- "I'd love to see you this weekend, but my schedule is pretty packed. Going on a camping trip with some buds!"
- "I've got a date on Saturday, so I'm gonna be busy that day. Maybe next week sometime?"
3
Be a little flirty if they’re comfortable. As you fill up your schedule and show off all the fun things that you're doing, this person's behavior towards you might start to change. They may reach out more often, text longer and more in-depth messages, or send you compliments. If it seems like they're taking an interest in you, test the waters by flirting a little bit. You might try teasing them, complimenting them, or even asking them out on a date.^{[6]
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Research source}
- Tease them about something lighthearted and silly. You might say, "This comic book you recommended is pretty terrifying! Never knew about this side of you 😉"
- Compliment them on something that makes them special. Text something like, "You've got such cute freckles" or "You're like the funniest person I've ever met."
- Ask them out on a date. Try, "I've had so much fun talking the past couple of weeks. Would you want to get coffee this weekend?" or "There's a ton of good movies out right now. Would you want to check one out with me this Saturday?"
4
Accept their decision if they still only want to be friends. Sometimes, people just don't feel a romantic connection. Though it can really hurt, it's best to respect someone's wishes if they say that they're not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship. Give yourself some time to grieve, but remember that there are plenty of people out there that would love to date you.