How to Not Be Awkward Around Your Boyfriend at School

Co-authored by Judith Gottesman, MSW and Madeleine Criglow

Last Updated: November 3, 2021 References

In the movies, couples always seem to know what to say and how to act. It can be a lot different in real life, especially when you're trying to navigate a relationship in school. If you're feeling a little awkward around your boyfriend, it's totally normal. There's a lot you can do to feel more comfortable, though. Here are some tips so that you can feel confident and sure of yourself. It may take some getting used to, but you can totally have a relationship and feel comfortable and relaxed at the same time.

1

Be yourself.

Embrace what makes you unique. Be open about your quirks. They're what make you special, and probably why your boyfriend likes you. It may feel awkward to be yourself around your boyfriend at first, but it's the only way to build a deep, strong connection with someone.^{[1]
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- When you're talking to your boyfriend in the halls between classes, be honest about your favorite classes. If you love science and can't wait to go to Biology class that day, own it. Talk to him about that essay you spent all night writing.
- Avoid pretending to be what you think your boyfriend wants. If he’s dating you, he likes you for who you are.

2

Spend time together in person.

Avoid relying on just texting throughout the day. It might make you nervous to go up to your boyfriend and say hi, but it’ll get easier with time. Walk to classes with your boyfriend. Eat lunch together and spend breaks in between classes catching up. Prioritize in-person communication, and try not to blow up his phone with texts throughout the day.
- Save texting during the school day for quick, sweet messages and making plans to meet up in between classes. Avoid texting during class so that you don't get distracted.
- In the morning, text him something like, "Hope your day has been great so far. Can't wait to see you at lunch!"

3

Talk about your feelings honestly.

Share your thoughts openly, even the awkward ones. Talking through your feelings together helps you both relax. Bring up more personal subjects when you've got one-on-one time so your boyfriend doesn't feel put on the spot. Try sitting together just the two of you at lunch or spend some time together in a more secluded spot on campus, like the courtyard outside.^{[2]
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- Maybe you're going to a dance together soon and you're feeling a little nervous since you've never been to one before. Talk about it with him instead of holding those thoughts inside.
- Say something like, "I'm so excited to go to the dance this Friday, but I'm a little anxious. How do you feel about it?"

4

Listen to your boyfriend.

Do this to be attentive and get out of your own head.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Judith Gottesman, MSW
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.} Practice active listening techniques, like making eye contact, nodding along with what he has to say, and rephrasing what he said in your own words to make sure you understood everything correctly. You can even ask him questions to learn new things about him.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Judith Gottesman, MSW
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.}
- Avoid spending your time in conversation worrying about what he's thinking about you. It's completely normal to have those thoughts, but you'll feel much better around him if you focus on what he's saying instead.^{[6]
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5

Save working through conflict for one-on-one time.

Try not to get your friends involved. If you're upset with your boyfriend or need to work through a problem, ask if he has time to talk privately and approach the subject directly. Lead with your feelings, and give your boyfriend a chance to share his perspective. Try to come up with a solution you both feel good about, and make sure you're being respectful to each other during the conversation. It may be a little uncomfortable, but it'll help you resolve things much faster.^{[7]
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- Talk at lunch or after school before you go home. Avoid bringing something up in the few minutes you have between classes or while you're hanging out in a busy hallway.
- If you need advice about a conflict before talking to your boyfriend, bring it up with a trusted friend, family member, or even your school counselor.

6

Take physical affection slow.

It's completely normal to be nervous about being touchy at school. Only do what you're comfortable with, and start slow. Try holding hands in the hallway or giving him a hug goodbye after school. Save more serious PDA, like kissing, for after school or when you’re together in private.^{[8]
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Trustworthy Source
Child Mind Institute
Nonprofit organization providing evidence-based care for children with mental health and learning disorders and their families
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- PDA in group settings, like hanging out with friends, may make your friends uncomfortable.
- Only do what you’re comfortable with. Some schools also have rules about PDA in the hallways and in class. Keep those in mind as well so that you and your boyfriend don’t get in trouble.

7

Hang out with each other’s friends.

Part of being in a relationship is getting to know each other’s pals. Make an effort to get to know his friends. When you're spending time together at school, laugh at his friends' jokes if you think they're funny, listen to what they have to say, and ask questions to get to know them better.^{[9]
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- Say hi to his friends when you pass them in the hallway. Be friendly and ask them how they're doing if you ever have classes with them. It may be awkward at first, but you'll start to feel more comfortable over time.
- Ask your boyfriend if he can give you some basic facts about how his friends all met and what they like to do for fun. That can help you start conversations with them.

8

Keep up with your interests and hobbies.

Remember who you are separate from your boyfriend. Keep hanging out with your friends. Focus on your family when you're spending time with them. Stay passionate about your interests in school, like classes and extracurricular activities like sports, theater, or art. This will help you remember how awesome you are on your own and build your confidence over time.^{[10]
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- Avoid ditching plans with your friends to hang out with your boyfriend or spending all of your time texting him at school.
- Focusing on your friends and interests will give you new things to talk about when you see each other throughout the day. That'll help fill up any awkward silences.

9

Think positively to remain confident.

Sometimes awkwardness can make your mind start to spiral. If you catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself, stop those thoughts in their tracks and replace them with positive ones instead. It may feel forced at first, but over time, you'll start to really see things from a more positive perspective. This can help you feel more confident in yourself and your relationship. It'll also improve your ability to move past awkward slip-ups faster.^{[11]
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- Maybe anytime you do something awkward around your boyfriend, you think something like, “I’m so shy. Why does my boyfriend even like me?” Try spinning that thought into something positive.
- Think, “He probably didn't even notice” or “I’m really silly and funny. That’s why my boyfriend likes me.”

10

Let embarrassing moments go.

Try your best to laugh at yourself and move on. Everyone has embarrassing moments sometimes, including your boyfriend. If you accidentally burp in front of him or drop all of your books while you're walking to class, simply smile and let the moment pass. To really own it, make a joke out of it. It'll show your boyfriend that you're comfortable in your own skin, which is super attractive.^{[12]
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- Let's say you're about to have lunch with your boyfriend and you spill all of your food on the ground. Before picking it up, laugh and say something like, "I'm like the clumsiest person on earth. You think you could share your fries with me today?"