We’ve all experienced the heartache of trying to get over a crush. It’s hard enough when you only have to see them occasionally, but it can feel nearly impossible when you run into them every day in class or at work. Here's the good news—it’s definitely possible to get them off your mind with some self-compassion, a strong support network, and a little patience. Keep reading for a list of tactics to change your perception of your crush, put some space between you, and cope with your feelings in a healthy way so you can let them go.

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Get off of social media.

4

Limit contact with your crush as much as you can.

  1. Proximity is a major factor in developing feelings for someone.[5] Sit in a different desk or office space to put them at a physical distance. Skip any parties or office happy hours where you know they’ll be, and find new bars, coffee shops, or hangout spots if you know they’re a regular at your old haunts.[6]
    • If you’ve been physically intimate with your crush before, keep your relationship completely platonic going forward. More sensual encounters will only make it harder to get over your feelings and move on.[7]
    • Make your home a safe space and get rid of any gifts, photos, or other objects that remind you too much of the person.[8]
6

Talk about your crush with friends or family.

  1. Talking about something out loud helps you understand your feelings about it. Tell your best friend or a trusted family member what you like about the person, how sad or angry you feel, or all the future dates and milestones you pictured. Get it all out of your system so you can move on.[10]
    • Talking about your problems with friends and family is a way to let them know what’s happening in your life and that you might need some extra support while you work through this. It’s OK to use your support system and ask for help!
    • Talking about your crush will help normalize your feelings. If you keep it all inside, you might grow embarrassed or ashamed of how you feel and it will take longer to heal.[11]
9

Substitute a new thought when your crush is on your mind.

  1. You don’t have to try to block them out entirely. Just change the course of your thinking to stop fantasizing about what could have been or dwelling on a relationship that isn’t going to happen. This helps you heal and move on faster.[14] Here are some examples of how to shift your train of thought:
    • Instead of letting yourself imagine a romantic wine night with them, start thinking about a trip to a vineyard with your closest friends.
    • If you can’t stop focusing on the way they did their hair today, try picturing yourself in a salon chair and playing with different styles and colors.
    • Did they say your name recently and you can’t stop re-hearing it? Imagine your favorite musician screaming your name from the stage instead.
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Look at yourself from their point of view.

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Set limits on how much you talk about your crush.

  1. Overtalking about them can prolong your feelings of sadness and pain. If you feel yourself obsessing, try distracting yourself with your favorite activities or take a trip with friends or family. It can be very healing to do something you enjoy with the people who do care about you.[17]
    • Shift your energy toward accepting the situation for what it really is and acknowledge, “what I am looking for is not going to happen with this person.” You will probably still feel sad for a time, but this acceptance will let you grieve the lost possibility and then move on.[18]
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Focus on substance-free coping mechanisms.

  1. Drugs and alcohol will make you feel sadder for longer. If you find yourself binge drinking or doing recreational drugs frequently, you may need to reevaluate how you process your feelings. Reach out to friends, family, or a substance use professional if you feel your coping mechanisms have gotten out of control.[21]
    • A drunk text or DM to your crush can be embarrassing and make it even harder to move on, especially if you have to see them everyday. Ditch the booze while you’re thinking about them to avoid making a mistake you’ll regret later.
    • Prolonged drug or alcohol use while you’re depressed might lead to self-harm or suicidal thoughts in extreme cases.
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See a therapist if your feelings are unmanageable.

  1. Sometimes your crush can leave you feeling devastated and depressed. It’s normal to feel low for days or weeks, but it’s time to speak to a professional if you can’t work through it on your own and your usual support systems are not helping.[22] Signs it might be time to see a therapist or a counselor might be:
    • You feel depressed or sad for all or most of the day, most days of the week.
    • Your feelings are preventing you from enjoying your favorite things and activities.
    • Your feelings are affecting your ability to work, succeed in school, socialize with your friends or family, or get along with people.

About This Article

Lisa Shield
Co-authored by:
Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by Lisa Shield and by wikiHow staff writer, Dan Hickey. Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan. This article has been viewed 72,385 times.
57 votes - 74%
Co-authors: 8
Updated: December 1, 2022
Views: 72,385
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