How to Move on After a Break Up

Last Updated: December 9, 2021 References Approved

Sometimes you know a break up is coming and you do all you can to avoid it, and other times you are caught completely off guard by your significant other deciding to leave the relationship without any input from you. Whichever way your break up goes, a relationship's end can be crushing emotionally, psychologically and socially. Move on after a break up by focusing on yourself, cutting all ties with your ex and looking for things to do that will keep you from brooding or slipping into a depression.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Focus on Yourself

1
Allow yourself to have mixed feelings. Even if the relationship was unhealthy, you need time to grieve. Accept and acknowledge feeling sad, angry, confused, frustrated and relieved.^{[1]
X
Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
2
Take some time for self-reflection. Sometimes, people change when they are in relationships. Figure out what you like best about yourself as a single person and focus on making that part shine.^{[2]
X
Research source}

Advertisement
3
Stay physically healthy. You do not want your break up to send you spiraling into bad habits such as drinking, binge eating or obsessive exercise.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- Take care of yourself by eating healthy food,^{[4]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  National Health Service (UK)
  Public healthcare system of the UK
  Go to source} getting enough sleep and working out when you can, even if that means just taking a walk.^{[5]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  Mayo Clinic
  Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
  Go to source}
4
Rally your support network. If your break up means you lose some mutual friends, that's okay. Talk to your good friends, family members and others who will stand by you during this difficult time.
5
Talk to a therapist. Some people are better able to identify their feelings and get over the break up fast with the help of a mental health professional.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Cut Ties with the Ex

1
Try not to call, text, message or follow your ex. This will be uncomfortable for the both of you and it will not help you move on after your break up.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- Make it clear to your ex that you wish to put some distance between the two of you. Sometimes, former partners think they can stay friends. While this might be possible down the road, the weeks and months immediately following your break up are not good times to keep in touch.
2
Discontinue talking or getting together with your ex's family members. If Sunday brunch with your ex-girlfriend's mom was on your schedule permanently, you will have to cancel and fill that time slot with something else.^{[7]
X
Research source}
3
Stop romanticizing the relationship. It is over, so it was not the perfect fairy tale you might be imagining now.
4
Delete him or her from all your social networking contacts. If you really want to move on, you cannot be Facebook friends.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Stay Busy

1
Seek the company of old friends. You may have let some relationships fall to the side while you were in love, but those friends have not forgotten you. Go out and have fun with people you like.
2
Discover new interests. Learning something new is a great way to take the sting out of a break up. Take cooking classes, learn a new language, start exploring photography or plant a garden.^{[8]
X
Research source}
3
Consider dating again. People are ready at different times. Some are ready to jump back into the dating pool and others are hesitant.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- Let everyone know you are ready to date again. This will inspire introductions, blind dates and other potential set-ups. You can also think about online dating.
- Make new friends if you are not comfortable dating just yet. Friendships can develop into something more romantic down the road.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do I stop hurting after a breakup?

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD

Licensed Psychologist

Expert Answer

Focus on yourself to move on from a breakup. Going to therapy, reading books on personal growth, and listening to podcasts can all help you move on. Digging into personal growth is the best way to move through the hurt and pain of a breakup and get into the growth and understanding that can come from it.