How to Make a Guy Not Like You

Co-authored by Michele Fields

Last Updated: October 5, 2022 References

It feels good to be liked, but sometimes attention from a guy is unwanted. If he likes you and you aren’t interested in him, it can become uncomfortable. You can’t control his feelings, but you can do everything you can to make it clear how you feel. It’s important to find a kind way to tell him that you aren’t interested, and to seek further help if he doesn’t stop bothering you.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Talking Directly

1
Be straight with him. If a guy tells you he likes you, tell him the straight, honest truth: you don’t like him back. You can say it in a nice way like, “That’s really sweet, but I just don’t have feelings for you like that,” or “I think you’re really cool and funny, but I don’t like you in the same way." Most guys will take the hint and stop pursuing you.
- Make sure to talk to him right away. Waiting to act will only confuse him or allow him to keep thinking that he has a chance with you.^{[1]
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- Don't jerk the guy around—instead, just tell him the truth. It's unkind to lead someone on.
2
Say a clear “no.” Say no to reject a guy who asks you to do something you don’t want to do, and he will get the message and likely change his feelings. Know that his feelings might be hurt, but it’s your right to draw a boundary for what you want and are comfortable with.
- Stick with your rejection. Use clear language like “No, thank you” and “No, I’m not interested” rather than “No, maybe some other time” or “No, not really.” Don’t leave room for the possibility that you’d be interested later, or he might get the idea that he has time to change your mind.^{[2]
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3
Give him logical reasons. Tell him any good practical reasons why it wouldn’t make sense for him to date you. He might respond better to reason.
- You might say, "I don't think there's that kind of chemistry between us."
- If you already have a boyfriend or someone you’re interested, that’s an easy reason to give him!
- If you live on the opposite side of town and wouldn’t be able to easily see him outside of school or work, tell him: “We live so far away, we wouldn’t get to see each other.”
- If you’re going to a different middle school, high school, or college than him next year, point out to him that this wouldn’t work well.
4
Use an excuse if you have to. It’s okay to tell a little white lie to make your point if he won’t leave you alone: “I’m interested in someone else,” “I’m already dating someone,” or “I’m not interested in guys” are all reasonable excuses to get him off your tail, whether true or not.
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Offer to set him up with someone else. Ask a friend or think of someone else who’s interested in him, and then explain to him why that person might be a better match. Make sure you have permission from whoever you’re setting him up with.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Taking Action

1
Avoid him. Simply avoiding places where he goes or hangs out, if possible, will send him a message. If he never sees you, he will likely stop thinking about you or trying to pursue you as much.
2
Block him on social networks. Get on your social media accounts like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat, and block him from seeing your posts and photos and interacting with you. All of the major social network sites and apps have easy ways of un-friending and blocking any user you want.^{[3]
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3
Find out what he dislikes and start doing it. Try asking his friends or using what you already know about what he doesn’t like to make yourself less desirable to him. If he hates a certain sports team, start talking to him about only that team. If the sound of chewing gum or humming drives him nuts, start doing those things around him.
4
Use reverse psychology. An out-there move to try is acting the complete opposite and give him a lot of attention. Be completely overbearing and demanding of his attention, even acting like you’re already in a relationship. Take it to a ridiculous level if you need to. It may be that he just wanted the attention from you and will leave you alone once he gets it, or he will be so turned off by your over-attentiveness that he’ll back off.^{[4]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Asking for Help

1
Talk to a friend. Ask one of your friends or a friend of the guy who likes you to try talking to him about how you’re not interested and he should give it up. He might listen better when it comes from someone else.
- Also ask your friends or his friends to stop making jokes about the two of you getting together, or any other encouragement they try to give him. The guy that likes you might just want the attention or be pursuing you because his friends egg him on.
2
Talk to your parents or trusted adults. If you feel really annoyed or threatened by him, it’s a good time to talk to a parent or other adult for more help. Just tell them that there’s a guy who likes you and won’t leave you alone. The adult can offer you more advice, or talk to the guy or his parents.
- If you feel uncomfortable talking to a parent or other adult, try writing down what you want to say first before you say it. Also decide what you want from the adult beforehand so you can ask them. Say, “I just want you to help me figure out what to do about something,” or, “I need you to talk to someone’s parents for me.”^{[5]
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3
Talk to the police if things get bad. If a guy still persists with unwanted attention in any way after you’ve made it clear with your speech and actions that you aren’t interested, talks or sends messages in a way that is threatening, or shows up at your house or somewhere to see you uninvited, speak up and tell the police.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you tell a guy you don't like him without hurting his feelings?

Michele Fields
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Michele Fields is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Owner of Bon Jour Matchmaking based in Denver, Colorado. With over thirty years of experience, she specializes in helping others meet people and navigate dating and relationships. Michele has created over 300 marriages and has been featured on Denver ABC News, The Rocky Mountain News, Colorado 2 News, Denver Westworld, and The Denver Post.

Michele Fields

Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. You have to be a grown up and kindly let that person know he’s misinterpreting things and that you’re just friends.

Warnings

Careful not go back on what you’ve said. Don’t call him up just because you’re bored, after you’ve already told him you’re not interested.

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Realize that even if you’d just like to be friends with the guy who likes you, it might be too hard for him to hang out with you as just a friend and nothing more. Give him time to get over you before spending time as friends.

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