This article was co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
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Is someone madly in love with you, but you have never or no longer share their romantic sentiments? It may seem overwhelming, mean, or even unnecessary to express to this individual that their affection is unwanted. While you can passively or actively share your disinterest, it is essential to acknowledge that you do not have the right to forcefully alter someone’s feelings.
Steps
Being Overbearing
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1Call, text, and message them constantly. Over communicating with a person can be just as destructive to a relationship as failing to communicate with that person. Make yourself appear needy and insecure by constantly check-in with them via phone call, text, or direct message. Further your cause by contacting them at inappropriate times, such as in the middle of class, a meeting, or a family meal. This will demonstrate that you have little respect for boundaries. With each passing day that you blow up their phone, they may fall more and more out of love with you.
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2Be critical of them. Partners accepting of each other’s flaws and quirks. Cast yourself in a shallow and unflattering light by nitpicking every action and decision made by the person who loves you. Criticize their hair, clothing, movie selection, career choice, and car. Your incessant negativity may just drive them away.Advertisement
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3Be controlling. In many relationships, partners are able to retain some degree of autonomy over their own life. Deny the person you wish to drive away the ability to make a decision without consulting you first. Your domineering facade may motivate them to cut ties with you so that they can regain control of their life.
Being Neglectful
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1Stop making your relationship a priority. In a healthy relationship, couples make time for one another in their busy schedules. If you wish to passively hint that this person is no longer worth your time, limit your interactions with them. Instead of hanging out with your partner or the person crushing on you, pick up a hobby, play video games, hang out with other people, or become highly focused on your career. Eventually, they may decide you aren’t worth their time either.
- When you do spend time together, act distracted or leave early.[1]
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2Do not show any support. Couples loyally support each other through the highs and the lows of life. If you wish to give this person a reason to stop loving you, revoke your support. Do not attend their sporting events or concerts. Do not ask them about their test or pitch. When they come to you for help or advice, minimize their problems or support the other party. Your inability to provide moral support, may make them search for someone more loyal.[2]
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3Act distant. Partners rely on words and actions to communicate their feelings with each other. By withholding your ability to be vulnerable, you will successfully create an emotional void in your relationship. Refuse to share your feelings—when you are hurt, refuse to talk about it. Avoid all forms of physical contact. Overtime, they may deem you emotionally unavailable and an undesirous partner.[3]
Approaching the Delicate Situation with Maturity
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1Consider your decision carefully. Do not flippantly decide to terminate a relationship or convince an individual that you are not worth loving. Before you take any actions you may later regret, pause to contemplate your desire to emotionally distance yourself from this person. Furthermore, determine if you can commit to cutting this individual out of your life.[4]
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2Discuss your feelings and decision with the individual.[5] It is possible to end a relationship or clarify any misconceptions in a respectful, courteous, and civil manner. Engage this individual in an honest and open dialogue about your decision to terminate the relationship or your lack of romantic feelings towards them. After you have explained yourself, stop talking and allow the person to respond.[6]
- Avoid pointing the finger at the other person.
- Use “I-statements” to communicate your feelings. (“I feel ___ when you ___ because ___”).
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3Accept that the other person is entitled to react as they choose. It is unrealistic to assume that you are capable of or entitled to controlling someone’s emotions. This person is not required to reciprocate your desire to move on or your lack of romantic feelings. Allow them to feel what they feel and give them the time and space they need to process this change.[7]
Warnings
- Make sure you don't hurt the person in the process. The aim is not to make them hate you, but to make them see all your flaws.⧼thumbs_response⧽
References
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/21/relationship-mistakes_n_5552993.html
- ↑ https://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/attraction/fall-out-of-love/#.Vo0zbMCAOko
- ↑ http://thedailypositive.com/3-behaviors-sabotage-relationships/
- ↑ http://slism.com/girlstalk/falling-out-of-love-and-coping-6-tips-on-how-to-stop-loving-someone.html
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
- ↑ http://slism.com/girlstalk/falling-out-of-love-and-coping-6-tips-on-how-to-stop-loving-someone.html
- ↑ http://slism.com/girlstalk/falling-out-of-love-and-coping-6-tips-on-how-to-stop-loving-someone.html
About This Article
You can make someone fall out of love with you by distancing yourself from them physically and emotionally. Try to spend as little time with them as possible so they can see that the relationship isn’t a priority to you. For example, you could pick up a new hobby or hang out with other people. When you do spend time with them, act distracted and refuse to share your thoughts and feelings with them. You can also withdraw yourself emotionally from them by revoking your moral support. For instance, if they come to you with a problem they’re having, you can minimize the issue or avoid talking about it altogether. Just be aware that doing this could really hurt their feelings. The most mature option may be to explain to them that you don’t have romantic feelings for them and you need some space. For tips about how to be controlling to make someone fall out of love with you, keep reading!
Medical Disclaimer
The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.
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