How to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Loved

Last Updated: August 25, 2022 References

Being in love is a wonderful feeling, but sometimes it can be difficult to express. Loving your girlfriend and making your girlfriend feel loved doesn’t always come as a pair. Loving her doesn’t require action, but showing her that you love her does. Making her feel loved through your efforts strengthens the bond of the relationship, which benefits both partners. The efforts can be small or large, spoken or done through actions. To show your love for her, express your appreciation, show affection, do things with her, and communicate with her.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Expressing Your Appreciation

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Give her sincere compliments. Almost everybody enjoys receiving compliments. Giving your girlfriend a compliment lets her know what you admire and love about her. When giving her a compliment, try to make it as specific as possible. Think about what is unique about her. A specific compliment will be remembered longer and appreciated more than a general compliment that could be given to anyone.
- Say things like “I really like the outfit you have put together today,” or “I’m really impressed by your taste in books.”
- Think about something you haven’t complimented her on before. Maybe she does a great job of handling all of her responsibilities. If she has gotten her hair done recently, notice it and compliment it.
- You don’t have to constantly compliment her. Too many compliments can seem insincere after a while.
- If your girlfriend is insecure about certain things, like her body or looks, compliment her to raise her confidence about them.
2
Tell her how you feel about her. Talking about your emotions can be difficult to do, but it will almost always be appreciated. Expressing your emotions about the relationship will vary depending on the type of relationship and how long you have been together. Tell her that you love her, appreciate what she does, and value her in your life. Let her know how she has made you better as a person.
- If is a fairly new relationship, you can say “I’m so happy I’ve been able to get to know you. I hope I can get to know you even more as our relationship progresses.”
- It never hurts to let your girlfriend know how much you appreciate having her in her life, even if it is an established relationship.
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3
Include her in your life. Making the effort to include your girlfriend in your plans and daily life means a lot. You don’t have to fully include her into every part of your life if it is a new relationship. Choose what you include her in based on what you are comfortable with and how serious the relationship is. If it is a new relationship, ask her to hang out with your friends during the weekend. If you are more serious, bring her to family functions or on a trip.
- What you include her in doesn’t have to be that important or serious. It is just as nice to invite her to run errands with her. Letting her know you think of her and want her around is what counts.
4
Pay attention to the details. Remembering the small things sometimes means just as much as remembering the big things. This is because it is surprising and shows how much you pay attention to her, her life, and your relationship. Pay attention to the small events and remarks, like something she says she likes or doesn’t like, a childhood memory that means a lot to her, or remember the details about how you met her.^{[1]
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- You can also remember her favorite movies, songs, books, and/or plays and watch or read them with her later.
- Remember the details about the relationship. For example, remember where you first held hands, first kissed, or a favor she did for you that meant a lot to you.
5
Remember important dates. Remembering the small things means a lot, but it is also very important to not forget the big dates. Forgetting a big date can result in hurt feelings and possible an argument because those dates are expected to be remembered. A few important dates to remember are your anniversary, her birthday, and holidays, especially her favorite holidays.^{[2]
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- Show her dates like her birthday and Valentine’s Day are important to you by planning a celebration or date.
- Make sure you don’t forget dates by writing them in a planner or calendar or putting them into the calendar on your mobile phone.
6
Ask for her opinion. Your girlfriend doesn’t have to determine what you do and don’t do in your life, but it is thoughtful to ask for her opinion. It shows that you value what she thinks, and you want to apply your advice in your decisions. You can ask for her opinion for something as simple as choosing what shirt to wear, or as big as moving to another location.^{[3]
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- Ask her something like “I’m thinking of getting a new shirt. Would you like to help me pick it out? I would like your opinion.”
- You don’t have to only ask for her opinion on something personal. You can also ask for her advice on entertainment, the news, or whatever comes to mind.
- You can ask her opinion, but you don’t have to take it if you don’t think it is beneficial to you. Only do what makes you feel happy and comfortable.

Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Communicating with Your Girlfriend

1
Listen carefully to her. You should listen to anyone that is speaking, but try to pay special attention to what your girlfriend is saying. Truly listening is not as common as it should be, so your girlfriend will appreciate having someone to rely on to listen to her. You don’t have always have to answer to what she is saying. Having someone to vent to is special.^{[4]
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- Look her into her eyes when she is speaking. If she is venting or working something out aloud, let her talk. You can show that you are listening by nodding occasionally and making small comments like “I understand.” Of course, you should respond when she asks something.
2
Respond to her. Respond to her when you are having a conversation, but also respond to her when you talk through messages throughout the day. Acknowledge when she is speaking to you, even if it is a small question or comment that warrants a response. Respond to her carefully and with thought if it is a serious conversation. You should also try your best to respond to her when she texts, messages, or calls you.^{[5]
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- Don’t go out of your way to respond if the time is not appropriate, like when you are in class or at work. Respond to her when you can. She should understand that you are not always immediately available.
3
Send her messages throughout the day. You don’t have to be constantly connected with each other, but sending her a few texts and/or messages throughout the day goes a long way. It will mean a lot to her to know that you cross her mind even when you are apart. Text her when you see something that makes you think of her, or even just to say hello.^{[6]
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- You can also send her random text messages reminding her how you beautiful you think she is and that you love her.
4
Call her. Calling is less common these days because texting and messaging through social media is easier and faster. Taking the time to call her will show that you value conversation with her, not just brief snippets of conversation through text. You can call her when you have a few minutes to spare throughout the day, or you can call her at night to have a longer conversation when you are not together.
- It is also nice to call her and say you just wanted to hear her voice.
- If she does not answer, leave a message or send a text to let her know that you were thinking of her.
5
Speak to her with respect. Show her and speak to her with respect at all times. Do not call her bad names, even if it’s in jest. Avoid speaking negatively about her gender or make inappropriate jokes that could hurt her feelings. Never dismiss what she is saying, even if you are having an argument. If you are having an argument, try to think before you speak and avoid saying things you will regret later.^{[7]
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- If you are arguing, instead of resorting to name-calling or other negative language, say something like “I respect what you are saying, but I disagree. Can we try to come to a compromise?”
- You don’t have to walk on eggshells when speaking to her. Just try to consider if it will hurt her feelings before saying what you have in mind.
- Speaking to her with respect also involves respecting her interests and wishes. Even if you think ballet isn’t your thing, support her. If she tells you that you’re doing something that makes her uncomfortable, stop doing it.
6
Tell her you love her. It is important to show your love through actions and kind words, but simply saying “I love you” never gets old. Tell her you love her every day, or whenever you feel the need to tell her. You can say it in person, through text, or by phone, though saying it in person is the most ideal way to say it. ^{[8]
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- Don’t be afraid to tell her you love her if you have never told her before. It’s best to wait until you have been in a relationship with her for a while, but it is not wrong to express your feelings at any point. Don’t expect her to say it back, though. If she doesn’t say it back, it doesn’t mean that she won’t say it in the future.

Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Showing Affection

1
Hold hands with her. Holding hands with your girlfriend is a simple and sweet gesture that never gets old. It is an innocent gesture that is physical without being overly physical. Hold her hand while you are watching a movie. Take her hand as you walk down the street together. It will show that you are proud that she is your girlfriend.^{[9]
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- It’s okay if she expresses a dislike for holding hands. There are plenty of other ways to show affection.
2
Hug her. A hug is a bit more physical than holding hands, but it is usually appreciated. Always give her a hug when saying hello or goodbye. Unexpected hugs are great too. Give her a quick hug when you or out together, or give her a longer hug when you are spending time alone.^{[10]
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- If she says that she doesn’t like long hugs in public or during specific times, respect that and ask when physical affection is okay with her.
3
Kiss her. A kiss is a simple act that can be powerful in showing her how you feel about her. If it is a new relationship, it can still be a new and exciting thing every time you kiss. Even if you kiss her regularly now, you can probably kiss her more often. Kissing is something that often becomes neglected in longer relationships. Pull her in and surprise her with a kiss. Or, kiss her somewhere other than her lips, like on her forehead, nose, or neck.^{[11]
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- Kiss her in public to show off how proud you are that she is yours.
- Don’t feel pressured to kiss if you haven’t done it yet. Take things at a pace that you and your girlfriend are comfortable with.
4
Give her a massage. A massage after a long, stressful day is a thoughtful gesture. Massage her neck, back, or feet. You can also ask her where she would like to be massaged. Use your bare hands or add oils or lotions. You should massage her to help her unwind. Do not give her the massage with any expectations or ulterior motives.^{[12]
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- Massages can also be a method of seduction, but only do this if both you and your partner are comfortable and have talked about a sexual relationship.

Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Doing Things with Her

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Plan a date. You can continue dating your girlfriend, even when you are in a relationship. Regularly go one dates with her to the movies, park, or dinner. A date doesn’t have to cost anything to be enjoyed. It’s the thought that matters. You can also plan a special date for her. It can be just because or for an occasion. Keep in mind her interests and things you enjoy doing together when planning a date.^{[13]
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- Going on a hike to someplace beautiful is a great way to spend time together without spending too much money.
- Cook her dinner and plan to watch her favorite movie. The effort will mean more than taking her out to a fancy restaurant.
2
Choose a thoughtful gift. You do not have to constantly give her gifts, but it is thoughtful to give her a surprise gift or a gift for a special occasion. You can make her a gift, like a painting or scrapbook with photos and memories of your relationship. It is also an option to make the gift something that you can do together, like attending a ballet or sports game she has dreamed of going to.^{[14]
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- Keep in mind things that she points or mentions that she would like to have. Write them down to remember them.
- A great gift can be something like writing a poem or song to her.
3
Help her with chores. The small, mundane things are important too because they occur far more often than special occasions. If she is having a busy day, help her clean her room, kitchen, or bathroom. Offer to clean or do laundry for her, or make it something you can do together. Run a simple errand for her, like picking up milk if she ran out of it. You can also make a day of running errands together.
- Spend a free day during the weekend catching up on each other’s errands, like getting groceries, paying bills, and shopping.
4
Do something new with her. Exploring new places and parts of life is a great bonding experience that will strengthen your relationship. It can be something neither of you have done, or something only one of you haven’t experienced before. You can get ideas for what to do by listening to her talk about things she would like to experience, or you can do something that is meaningful to you or her.^{[15]
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- Take a road trip to a place neither of you have visited before. Taking trips together is a good way of getting to know your girlfriend or boyfriend better, even if you have been together for a while.
- Maybe seeing The Nutcracker is a cherished part of her childhood, but you have never been. That is something you can do together. If going to see a baseball team is something you love but she has never gone to a game, invite her to go with you.
5
Attend her events. Show up to events that she takes part in. It might be a work event, wedding, game, or show. Supporting her in whatever she does will show how much you care for her. You can also invite her to events in her life. Letting her know that you want her there for support is a good way of showing that she is a part of your life.^{[16]
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- Ask her before attending a game or show she is performing in if she is shy. Surprise her by showing up if you think it will make her happy.
- Accept her invitation if possible if she invites you to an event. If you can’t go, tell her that you wish you could and express your disappointment. Send her flowers or a note the day of the event to show encouragement from afar.

Warnings

You don’t have to spend a lot of money or compromise your beliefs to make your girlfriend feel loved. Only do what you are comfortable with. Every relationship is different.

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Don’t do anything that makes her uncomfortable. If she expresses discomfort, stop immediately and apologize.

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