The secret to rebound relationships and what it takes to make them work

Finding yourself in a relationship with a new partner is so exciting. But if one of you has just had a recent breakup, there’s a potential that this is a rebound relationship, or a relationship that happens very quickly after an old one. While rebound relationships aren’t necessarily a bad thing, they do have a reputation for not lasting very long. But how long can you expect to be in a rebound relationship? And can you make them work long-term? We’ve answered all your questions and more so you can learn about your relationship and make things work with your new partner.

This article is based on an interview with our dating coach and matchmaker, Erika Kaplan. Check out the full interview here.

Things You Should Know

  • Rebound relationships usually last anywhere between 1 month and 1 year.
  • While rebound relationships do have the potential to work long-term, it’s important to develop a strong foundation early on so they can last.
  • You may be in a rebound relationship if one of you has just had a serious breakup or you aren’t over your ex yet.
Section 1 of 5:

How long do rebound relationships typically last?

  1. Rebound relationships usually last between 1 month and 1 year. This is a wide range, but it depends on a couple of different things: how good the new relationship is, and how much the rebounder is attached to their ex.[1] If the new relationship is super solid and there aren’t a ton of hang-ups on the previous partner, then the relationship can last a long time. If the new relationship is shaky and there are a lot of hang-ups on an ex, then it might not last very long at all.
    • Rebound relationships tend to fail after the honeymoon stage, which typically lasts between 2 and 3 months.
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Section 2 of 5:

Can rebound relationships work out long-term?

  1. Yes, rebound relationships have the potential to work long-term. While there aren’t any exact statistics to cite, new research has found that rebound relationships, or relationships with very little time in between them, actually strengthen an emotional connection and build intimacy faster.[2] Rebound relationships are definitely not destined to fail—they just might need a bit more effort and understanding in order to make them work.
    • If you’re in a rebound relationship and you see it working long-term, take steps to build a healthy relationship. Get to know your partner on a deeper level and spend time one-on-one to strengthen your connection.
Section 3 of 5:

Signs of a Rebound Relationship

  1. 1
    One of you has just left a serious relationship. This is the telltale sign of a rebound relationship, and one of its defining characteristics. If you or your new partner have recently been through a breakup, it’s likely that this is a rebound relationship.
    • There’s no exact timeline for when a relationship stops being a rebound relationship. In general, though, most people need a few months to a full year to get over the end of a serious relationship before moving on.
  2. 2
    There are lots of comparisons to an ex-partner. When someone isn’t over their ex, they will often compare their new partner to their previous partner. If you’re the one who went through a breakup, try to note every time you note the similarities or differences between your ex and your new partner. If you’re not the one who went through a breakup recently, keep an eye out for your partner making comparisons between you and an ex.
    • These comparisons can often be difficult for a new partner to hear. No one wants to be reminded of their partner’s ex constantly, and they especially don’t want to hear how they might not be measuring up to them.
  3. 3
    There’s a lack of vulnerability in the relationship. Many people who jump from relationship to relationship are worried about opening themselves up too quickly. If you think you’re in a rebound relationship, ask yourself: are me and my partner truly open with each other?
    • Along with this often comes a fear of commitment, too. If your partner doesn’t want to define the relationship or have the “what are we?” talk, there’s a chance this is a rebound.
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Section 4 of 5:

Stages of a Rebound Relationship

  1. 1
    The honeymoon stage When you’re first in a rebound relationship, everything is going great: you’re having fun with your new partner, you guys get along swimmingly, and you think nothing can go wrong! This will likely last for a couple of months before the rose-colored glasses slip off.[3]
  2. 2
    The confusion stage Next comes a little bit of concern: why doesn’t your partner take you out on real dates? Why haven’t you met their friends yet? These concerns are valid, and they often come up in a rebound relationship as things get more serious.[4]
  3. 3
    The realization stage One or both of you has realized that this relationship is a rebound, which isn’t awesome to hear. If you’re the rebounder, you might discover that you’re not over your ex. If you’re the rebounder, you’ve probably realized that your new partner is still hung up on their past relationship.[5]
  4. 4
    The make or break stage For a lot of people, after the realization stage comes a breakup. However, if you and your partner are committed to making things work and you can give them lots of time and understanding, you two might just be able to commit to each other long-term.
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Section 5 of 5:

Pros and Cons of Rebound Relationships

  1. 1
    Pro: You may get over your ex faster. A study from 2014 shows that people who dive into new relationships tend to forget about their ex-partners faster than those who stay single.[6] If you jump into a new relationship right away, you may be able to forget about your ex and the pain of a breakup faster than you would normally.
  2. 2
    Pro: You may feel more confident in your date-ability. After a breakup, it’s normal to feel a bit down and take a hit on your self-esteem. When you dive into a new relationship right away, you’re automatically proving to yourself that you can find love again.[7]
  3. 3
    Con: They can fizzle out after the honeymoon phase. Rebound relationships have a track record for lasting up until the honeymoon phase, then petering out. This is because a lot of times couples find themselves infatuated with each other without any real deep feelings.[8]
  4. 4
    Con: They can distract you from moving on and healing after a breakup. The distraction of a new relationship might work for a little while, but ultimately, it could cause you to bottle up your feelings instead of working through them. It’s important to let yourself feel angry, sad, or hurt after a breakup so you can move on in a healthy way.[9]
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About This Article

Erika Kaplan
Written by:
Matchmaker
This article was written by Erika Kaplan and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29. This article has been viewed 3,287 times.
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Co-authors: 4
Updated: March 7, 2023
Views: 3,287
Categories: Relationships
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