How to Have a Tea Party

Co-authored by Kevin Wang

Last Updated: December 15, 2022 References Approved

Tea parties became a popular social event in the early 1800s, though there are signs of tea parties occurring earlier. To this day, tea parties remain an enjoyable and popular pastime. Tea is, of course, necessary for tea parties, but often small snacks are served as well. There are several types of tea parties you can have. You can have an elegant tea party, or choose to have a tea party for children. No matter what type of tea party you have, you can make your tea party stand out with elements like costumes, music, and decorations.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Hosting an Elegant Tea Party

1
Choose your time. Traditionally, a tea party is held anytime in the afternoon. It is typically held around noon (11:30 AM to 12:30 PM), or afternoon (3:00 PM to 4:00 PM). Really, anytime is good for a tea party. A tea party is even okay late at night after dinner.
- Consider your guest’s schedules when planning a tea party.
- It may be difficult to have a party during the afternoon during the week when people are working. A weekend would be ideal if you plan to have it in the afternoon.
2
Invite your guests. You can send handwritten invitations two weeks in advance. If you don’t want to send an invitation, simply call them on the phone, or send an email to your guests. Try to keep the guest list to around eight people. Tea parties are supposed to be cozy, so the tea party host can easily mingle with each of her special guests.
- When you send everyone invitations, you'll get them excited that they're all special guests for a posh event. That common ground makes it easier for them to break the ice if they don't all know each other yet.
- It is, of course, okay to invite more than eight people. Just make sure to have enough tea and snacks available.
- You can ask your guests to bring items, like extra tea or desserts.
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3
Obtain tea party supplies. You will need a teapot, cups, and saucers in order to serve tea to your guests. Buy a tea strainer and use a small dish to collect used tea leaves. You can also serve a pitcher of milk, lemon slices, honey and sugar. Make sure you have enough small plates, napkins, and utensils if you are serving food.
- It will also be helpful and decorative to set out tablecloths. White linen or lace tablecloths are traditional, but you can also purchase disposable tablecloths if you want to make it easier to clean.
- A tea party is a very hands-on event, so start by providing china, tea cups and decor that will wow your guests for sure. What they see and feel at your tea party will set a tone of elegance.
- The more effort you put into creating a stunning ambiance, the more likely the event will be a smash hit and a fun memory that everyone talks about for years to come.
4
Buy tea. There are many different kinds of tea that you can serve, but you don’t have to serve more than two or three varieties. Some varieties include: black tea, white tea, green tea, oolong tea and blended teas. You can ask your guests what they would prefer before they arrive or you can just buy whatever you think they might like.
- You can serve iced tea if you’re having the tea party during a warm part of the year.
- You can also buy drinks such as coffee and lemonade for those that don’t like tea.
5
Prepare the food. Look up tea sandwiches, scone, and pastry recipes online or in your favorite recipe book. You can also choose to purchase the food instead of making it yourself. You will want to serve something light, like cucumber sandwiches, but you also want to serve something sweet, like cranberry scones or fruitcake. You can also serve things like teacakes and buns.^{[1]
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- Some common types of sandwiches served as tea parties are salmon club, crab, smoked salmon and avocado, and carrot and raisin.
- A few classic scone flavors are lemon drizzle, walnut, and cherry.
- Cookies and cakes are also nice to have out after sandwiches are served.
- Put jams out to pair with the scones. Strawberry, rhubarb and ginger, and jumbleberry are some options for jam flavors.
- Don't forget about the macarons!
6
Set the tea table. Cover a large table with a white linen tablecloth, or any other tablecloth of your choice. Place the tea at one end of the table and make sure to leave plenty of room for yourself. As the host, you will be serving the guests their tea. Place the lemon, milk, honey, and sugar next to the tea, and the trays for food at the other end of the table. It is normal at tea parties for the guests to serve the food themselves.
- You should set out tea pots and tea cups for the tea.
- Set out trays and cake stands for the food. You should also have plates and cutlery available to either be picked up next to the food, or placed at the tables.
- Place napkins, doilies, and name signs out if you want people to sit in certain places.
- Name signs are also a wonderful touch because it helps your guests put a name to a face and have an easier time socializing or even building brand new friendships.
7
Prepare the tea. Begin boiling the water and setting out the food about ten minutes before guest are scheduled to arrive. When the kettle is whistling, pour the water into the teapot and take the teapot to the table. You can also choose to set out a hot water dispenser next to a tray of tea bags if you want the guests to make the tea themselves.
- Set out coffee or any other drinks you anticipate your guests may want.
- Take this time to look around the room one more time to make sure everything is ready.
- If the guests serve tea themselves, they can chat with each other about how fun the little ritual is. They can even swap stories about other tea parties they've been to, their favorite ways to prepare tea, or their favorite flavors of tea.
8
Dress the part. Wear nice clothing similar to what you would wear to church or to a casual wedding. Tea parties are casual affairs, but don't be afraid to get a bit dressier than you would for a normal gathering with friends. Dress up in elaborate hats and gloves if you are having a “traditional British” themed party.
- You can suggest a dress code in your invitations if you wish for your guests to dress a certain way.
- Elegant ensembles are a great way to get strangers to start up conversations and compliment one another. Themed outfits also give them a chance to discuss the inspiration behind their attire.
9
Welcome your guests. Individually greet each of your guests. Greet them politely with a handshake, or with a hug or kisses if you know them well. Take whatever they may have brought and place it on the table for them. Then, show them to their seat if you have set places, or show them where they can choose to sit if you have not.
- You may not be available to greet each person as they walk in. If you can’t, greet them as soon as you’re available.
- Warmth and familiarity are wonderful ways to show people how much you care about them as honored guests. You'll also prove you that cherish them as friends.
10
Serve your guests. Once all or most of you guests have arrived, begin to serve the tea. Individually fill the first tea cups and pass them out or serve them to each person. After that, you can leave them the option of refilling for themselves. You can also choose to have the guests serve everything for themselves if you want to have a more casual party.
- Make sure anything they would need with the tea, like honey, sugar, and milk is out on the table.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Having a Fun Children’s Tea

1
Choose a time. Keep in mind the age of the children when planning the time. You should also keep in mind the parents when planning the party, especially if the party is for very young children. Consider things like work for the parents and school for the children. Late morning or early afternoon on a Saturday could be a good time. If possible, ask the parents of the children you’re inviting what would be a good time for them.
- If the party is for very young children, consider common nap times.
- Parties at night would probably not be the ideal time for children.
2
Plan a theme. A tea party for children is the most fun if a theme is involved. If the party is for mostly girls, you could choose a princess theme. An Alice in Wonderland theme is another cute and classic option. You could also choose a theme based on a country, which would be educational and fun. A British theme or Chinese are a couple of options. Research the decorations, costumes, food, and music based on the theme of your choosing.
- A popular theme like a fairy tale, storybook, or movie also gives all the kids a chance to bond over their favorite scenes and characters. They might even make new friends!
3
Send out invitations. Send out invitations based on the theme. You can have invitations printed, or you can send them out via email. You should send the invitations out at least two weeks before the date of the party, though a month before is ideal. If you don’t want to send out custom-made invitations, you can simply email or call the parents of the children.
- You can find websites that have downloadable invitation templates. Some are free, but others cost money.
- If you hand out colorful and whimsical invitations, then you'll definitely spark a lot of enthusiasm and get the kids excited about the event if they already spend time with each other as buddies.
4
Buy supplies. Don’t worry about buying very costly supplies if you will be hosting a room full of children. Small, plastic tea cups and plates will work fine. Again, consider the theme when choosing the tea pot, cups, and plates. You can buy colored or design plates based on the theme. You will also need to buy plastic utensils, a tablecloth, serving trays, and napkins.
- You can buy tea sets made for children. Many of them, however, are expensive and easily breakable.
- You can purchase supplies at party stores, like Party City. You can also purchase supplies online. Just make sure you purchase the items in enough time for them to be delivered by the date of the party.
5
Purchase the tea. Children may not drink hot tea, so consider some other kid-friendly options. Sweet tea, apple juice, and other fruit juices are some alternative options. You can still serve the drinks in the tea pot, even if you aren’t serving hot tea.
- Consider if parents will be staying when planning the food and tea. If some parents will be staying, buy hot tea, cold tea, and wine.
6
Buy food. Buy food the day before or a few days before the party, depending on the type of food you will be buying. Children may not eat the same things you would serve at an adult tea party, so choose some basic foods. For food, simple cheese, or turkey and cheese sandwiches, muffins, and assorted tea triangle sandwiches with simple ingredients work well. For dessert, sugar cookies, brownies, cupcakes, and fresh fruits with sugar lightly sprinkled on top are some options you can serve.^{[2]
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- If possible, ask the parents about potential allergies when planning the menu.
7
Decorate the room. Decorate the room based on theme. Put a tablecloth on the table. Set up the table with small favors, like small toys that the children can bring home. Put out balloons and hang up streamers. Make the room as colorful and cute as possible.
- For an Alice in Wonderland theme, you could set out the book and place figurines from the story out on the table.
- For a Chinese theme, put out chopsticks for the food and hang up Chinese lanterns.
8
Dress up in costumes. You can ask the children to come in costume, or you can have some costumes set out for the children to dress up in at the party. Even if you do ask the children to come in costume, it is considerate to set out a few costumes for children that may have not gotten the memo. Make sure the parents are aware of the theme if you are asking them to bring their children in costume.
- Not only is setting out costumes inclusive, but it also gives kids common ground to chat about why they chose the characters they did.
9
Put out the tea and food. You can choose to have everything set up before the party begins, or serve it after the children arrive. It is good to at least have some food set out on the table when the guests begin to arrive so that they can snack or drink while waiting for others to show up. Begin setting out the food and preparing the drinks about ten minutes before the children are set to arrive.
- Make sure to have plenty of napkins available in case of spillage.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Making Your Party Stand Out

1
Plan activities for your guests. Play tea party games like, Tea Leaf Pictionary. In this game, the players use their tea leaves to create picture of objects that are written down on small pieces of paper and drawn by each team. Another activity is to have your guests create their own tea bags. Place out tea leaves, tea bags, strings, and a stapler. Have the guest fill the bags with the leaves of their choice to create their own tea^{[3]
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- You should place the leaves in shallow bowls and put out spoons for the tea leaves.
2
Decorate the area. Go to the florist the day of the party and buy flowers. A few bouquets should be enough, but you can buy more if it fits in your budget. Place the bouquets in vases around the area you are having the party in. Daisies and lilies are always nice choices for flowers. If you’re having the party outside, hang up some string lights. Paper lights in the shape of flowers or other fun shapes look especially nice. You can also light candles to add warm lighting and create a nice scent.^{[4]
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3
Choose a theme. Theme aren’t just for children. You can choose a theme for adult parties as well. Themes liven up the occasion and give adults a reason to dress up and bring out their inner child. Some themes to choose from are British, Chinese, Victorian, and Alice in Wonderland. You can also choose to make an event out of the party and have a mystery theme. Make sure to plan the food, music, tea, decorations, and dress around the theme.
- For a mystery tea party, the host has a booklet that includes the instructions, script, name tags, and place cards. Each guest has a character and role to play according to the script. A mystery is acted out and solved by the guests.
- For an Alice in Wonderland theme, send out invitations telling guests to “not be late for a very important date with the white rabbit.” Decorate the area several mismatched tea pots and cups, clocks, paper lanterns, and quotes from the book. Play chess and lawn croquet. Ask guests to show up dressed as characters, like the Mad Hatter and Alice.^{[5]
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4
Wear costumes. Ask guests to wear costumes according to the theme you’ve chosen. Even if you don’t have a specific theme, you can ask guests to wear costumes anyway. They could dress up in flamboyant hats, like the British are known for wearing to formal events. An option for dressing up without a theme is asking guests to dress up in their formal attire. Make sure to specify costumes on the invitation.
- Costumes are also awesome conversation starters. Whenever you have a mixed crowd, it's important to give them a fun topic to talk about.Your guests will definitely love discussing their festive attire.
5
Play music. Plan music for the party. If you’ve chosen a theme, choose music according to that theme. For general music, choose low, soft music that can be played in the background. Classical music and smooth jazz are some options. If you want to take it a step further, you can hire music group to play. A small group playing classical or jazz music is ideal. If you have friends that play instruments, ask them if they would like to play.^{[6]
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- You can also find tea party playlists online.
- Set out a CD player, record player, or connect your iPod or smartphone to speakers to play the music.

Community Q&A

Question

What kind of food do I serve at a tea party?

Community Answer

Finger sandwiches and cookies are perfect.
Question

Where should I have the tea party?

Community Answer

Anywhere there's a nice ambiance is a good choice. Going to a park or another outdoor venue on a nice day is wonderful, but it's perfectly acceptable to have a tea party inside if you prefer.
Question

Is a tea cup with handles on both sides appropriate for a tea party?

Community Answer

For a relaxed, fun tea among friends, sure. For a more formal tea party, no.

Warnings

If there will be more than one kid coming, you may want to set up a small kids table with coloring books and cups that will not break.

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Check with your guests about food allergies and prepare alternatives before the party date. To be safe, prepare cookies or sandwiches without nuts, and if possible offer some food without dairy products.

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If your guests bring along their children, be careful to move anything breakable such as fine china out of harm's way. You should serve the children's tea or hot cocoa at a cooler temperature than usual (130 degrees maximum).

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