How to Have a Successful One Night Stand (for Women)

Last Updated: February 3, 2023 References

Sex is an important (and enjoyable) part of life. Just because you are not in a relationship at the moment does not mean that you can't have an active sex life. Many women have very successful one night stands. The key is to be safe and look out for yourself, while also having a good time. There are several steps you can take to have an enjoyable one night stand.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Making Safety a Priority

1
Let a friend know your plan. If you are considering having a one-night stand, you should make safety a priority. It might be exciting to feel lost in the moment. However, in today's world it is always best to take the proper precautions to stay safe.^{[1]
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- Text a friend the vital details. If you decide to go home with a man you don't know, let someone know where you will be and who you will be with.
- You can send a text that says something like, "Spending the night with Bob Smith. Met at The Bar. Please check in with me if you don't hear from me by 8 a.m."
- Arrange this system ahead of time. If you think there is a possibility you will meet someone, give your friends a heads up. Ask if she will be willing to be your contact person.
2
Use protection. When you have a one-night stand, you don't want to have any unpleasant reminders of the experience. That means that you certainly don't want to be left with an STD or unwanted pregnancy. Make sure to always have protected sex unless you are in a monogamous relationship. ^{[2]
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- Use a condom. Ask your partner to wear a condom. Bring your own, so that you know there is one available.
- If he objects to wearing a condom, do not agree to have sex. This should be a deal-breaker.
- You can also use other forms of protection, such as the female condom. To protect from pregnancy, consider a diaphragm, IUD, or birth control pills.
3
Avoid his place. Many people who choose to have a one-night stand choose to have sex with someone they recently met. If this is the case, it is a good idea to have the encounter at your own home. It is generally safer to avoid going home with someone you don't know.^{[3]
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- Remember that safety should be a priority. By going to your place, you will be going where your friends and family will know where to look for you, if necessary.
- You will likely feel more comfortable in your own territory. This will allow you to more fully enjoy the experience.
4
Stay sober. If you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, it's probably not the right time for a one-night stand. When you are intimate with someone you don't really know, it's important to remain in control of your faculties. If you anticipate having a one-night stand, limit yourself to one or two cocktails.^{[4]
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- Drugs and alcohol can lower your inhibitions. This means that you might not make responsible choices.
- The point is to enjoy your one night stand. You'll be better able to do that if you don't wake up hungover and wondering what happened.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Protecting Your Emotions

1
Keep your expectations reasonable. Think about your goals. Are you looking for just sex? That's perfectly fine. Just make sure to maintain the same priority throughout the experience.^{[5]
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- Do not expect a relationship to develop. Sometimes people get hurt after a one-night stand. It's usually because their expectations shifted.
- Accept that a one-night stand is actually a one-night occurrence. If something else develops, great. But don't expect it to.
2
Be confident. Once you have decided that you want to have a one night stand, it's time to take control of the situation. If you want to have a sexual encounter, approach a potential partner with confidence. If you feel good about yourself, you will project an air of confidence.
- When you see someone attractive, strike up a conversation. If you are at a party, try saying, "Great music. Do you go to many concerts?"
- Keep your tone relaxed, but convey your interest. For example, maintain eye contact with the person you are interested in.
- You can also make some experimental physical contact. Try resting your hand on the other person's shoulder while you are telling a funny story.
3
Keep a positive attitude. Even if you are looking for a one night stand, you might feel some emotional repercussions the morning after. It is perfectly normal for women to experience regret, or even shame. It's important to remember that you are in charge of your own actions and you can choose how to feel about them.
- To avoid having regrets, think carefully about whether you want a one night stand. Do you feel like you can handle having sex with no emotional attachment?
- If so, remind yourself that you made a proactive choice to have a one-night stand. As long as you were safe, there's no need to feel regret.
- Maintain high spirits. Celebrate the fact that you just had enjoyable sex.
4
Express your needs. The key to a successful one night stand is that both parties are on the same page. Avoid having a sexual encounter with someone you would like to pursue romantically. Likewise, do not have a one night stand with someone you know is interested in having a relationship with you.^{[6]
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- Make your expectations clear. Let the other person know that you are only interested in a casual encounter.
- Try saying something like, "I'd love to ask you to come home with me. But I need you to know that I'm not interested in dating or having a relationship."
- Being honest upfront may save you an awkward conversation later.
- Take the lead. Feel free to be the one to instigate sex. If you are interested in being intimate, make that clear.^{[7]
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- You do not have to wait for the other person to make the first move. Be confident and upfront. You can even say something like, "I'm really attracted to you."

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Enjoying Yourself

1
Choose the right partner. Since a one night stand is all about the sex, physical attraction is very important. Look for someone that appeals to you physically. For example, if a killer smile turns you on look for someone with a great grin.^{[8]
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- Pay attention to chemistry. The "spark" that you feel when talking to someone is important.
- If you feel immediate attraction and a connection, that's a good sign. Your body may exhibit physical signs of attraction, such as flushing and an accelerated heart rate.
- Choose someone that won't compliment your life. For instance, it's probably not a great idea to have a one night stand with a coworker. That could make things awkward in staff meetings.
- You don't have to choose a complete stranger, though. Is there a good looking groomsman at your cousin's wedding? Go for it.
2
Experiment. Since you might not ever see this person again, a one night stand is a great time to fulfill some of your sexual fantasies. If you aren't expecting to build a life with the other person, it's likely you'll feel less inhibited. Feel free to experiment.
- Maybe you've always been hesitant to be vocal during sex. Use this as an opportunity to make your desires known.
- Try saying, "I would love it if you would do XYZ to me."
- You can also experiment by having sex outside of the bedroom. Have you always wanted to do it on the dining room table? This is your moment.
3
Cuddle. Just because it is not a relationship doesn't mean that it can't be intimate. Don't be afraid to ask your partner to spend the night, if that's what you want. If you enjoy cuddling after sex, make that clear.^{[9]
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- You can say something like, "I always get a good night sleep with someone's arms around me. Do you mind?"
- If cuddling doesn't seem right, don't worry about it. This is your experience to enjoy.
4
Plan your exit strategy. Hopefully, you have spent the night at your house. Or maybe you are at a hotel, if you are on vacation. Wherever you are, it's useful to have a plan for leaving in the morning.^{[10]
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- You can make it clear from the outset that you have plans in the morning. For example, you could say, "I'd love for you to come back to my place. I hope you don't mind I have an early spin class booked."
- In the morning, be polite, but firm. Say, "I really enjoyed spending time with you. I've got to head out soon, though."
- Having an exit strategy can save a lot of morning after awkwardness.

Warnings

Condoms do not provide full protection against some forms of STI such as HPV and Herpes.

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Be conscious of your personal safety.

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Use a condom. A condom is the only way you will prevent an STD and pregnancy.

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