How to Have a Long Passionate Kiss With Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend

Co-authored by Eddy Baller and Eric McClure

Last Updated: February 10, 2023 References

So, you’ve been kissing your boyfriend or girlfriend for a while, but you really want to take it up a level. If you want to elevate your kissing game and really leave their head spinning, we’ve got you covered. There are so many different ways to do this, and you can pick and choose the moves that feel right for you and your kissing style. The key here is to listen to your partner and take cues from their body language. We’ll show you how!

1

Lock eyes as you go in for the kiss.

Eye contact can create a connection and signal that you want to kiss. The eyes are the window to the soul, and there’s nothing sexier than locking eyes with a slight smile on your face. Once you lock eyes, lean towards your partner, take their hand in yours, or brush their hair away from their face as you initiate the kiss.^{[1]
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2

Tilt your head and lean in.

Move in slowly at an angle so your noses don’t touch. You don’t need to tilt your head very much, so don’t turn your head super far. Begin to lean in towards your partner. Go slowly to build the passion up and raise the tensions between you and your partner.^{[2]
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3

Close your eyes as you lock lips.

Slowly start closing your eyes as your lips are about to touch. Pucker your lips out a bit and slowly close your eyes so that they shut right when your lips touch. Keep your lips soft and don’t push too hard against your partner.^{[3]
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- Take cues from your partner here. If they open their mouth a bit, open your mouth, too!^{[4]
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  Expert Source
  
  Eddy Baller
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.}
- If they pull away a bit as soon as you lock lips, they probably aren’t in the mood for some passionate kissing, so don’t force it.

4

Hold the kiss for at least 5 seconds.

A quick peck isn’t super passionate, so don’t pull away. A key part of a passionate kiss is the length. Give the two of you enough time to enjoy the experience. Kissing is all about connection, and a slightly longer kiss signals an especially intense bond.^{[5]
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- If your kiss is too short, it will feel like more of a quick smooch.^{[6]
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5

Pull your partner in close to you.

The closer you two are, the more intimate the kiss will be. Put one hand on their back and gently close in. If your partner is shorter than you, you can put a hand over their shoulder instead and lean in that way.^{[7]
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- Bringing your bodies together signals that you’re so into them that you just can’t stand not being close!
- You can pull them against you before you actually start kissing if you want a more sexually charged energy.
- If they pull away or reposition themselves so that there’s a little bit of space against you, don’t force it. Let them respond to what you’re doing so that they’re comfortable, too!

6

Hold your partner’s head or back.

This will heighten the emotional energy of your kiss. Incorporating both of your arms is essential to making your partner feel like you just can’t control your impulse to be close to them. You can use your free arm to support your partner’s head by resting your palm against the cheek, or against the back of their head. Alternatively, you can put your hand on their upper back or shoulder. Just do what feels natural!^{[8]
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- You can also put your hand on their upper chest if you two are kissing at a slight angle.
- If your partner is kind of swept off of their feet and surprised, they may not put both of their hands on you. If one of their hands is free, you might hold it tight.

7

Keep your hands moving (slowly).

Staying in one position can make a kiss feel too stiff and cold. However, if you move your hands too quickly, it can make it difficult for your partner to settle into the kiss. Calmly reposition your hands so that you engage all of your partner’s senses.^{[9]
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- You could run your fingers through their hair a bit and give them a (very gentle) hair tug for a super hot option.
- For something cuter, you might brush their hair back out of their face.
- Holding a hand against their check or gently squeezing their shoulder can make them feel supported and close to you.
- You can also move both of your hands to their lower back and pull them up closer to you. This is an especially sexy option if your partner is shorter than you.

8

Let your partner guide things.

Listening to your partner’s body language is key. If they lean in even further when you embrace them, it’s a cue that they’re super in for a potential make out session. If they coo a little bit but don’t lean in, keep doing what you’re doing! If they pull back after a few seconds, they probably don’t want to keep going so it may be time to wind down.^{[10]
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- It can be hard to remember if you’re super into your partner in the moment, but passion requires two people! Don’t push them to do something they aren’t enjoying.

9

Explore gently with your tongue.

Introducing your tongue will turn the heat up a notch. A passionate French kiss is a super intimate way of moving from romantic to hot. If your partner opens their mouth a bit and they seem into it, start moving your tongue around in their mouth. Explore gently and softly. Less is more with a French kiss, so let your partner set the tone.^{[11]
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Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.}
- Don’t push or stiffen your tongue. Keep it soft, flexible, and don’t shove it too deep down your partner’s throat.^{[13]
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- You don’t need to use tongue at all if you aren’t ready.
- Always try to match your partner during the kiss so things aren't unbalanced.^{[14]
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  Eddy Baller
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.}

10

Try sucking their lip for a moment.

Pausing a French kiss for a little lip play can be super hot. If you’ve been kissing for more than 5-10 seconds, variation can keep things hot and heavy. When the position feels natural, move your lips down a bit so that their bottom lip is in the middle of your lips and give it a very gentle pull. Release their lip after a second or so and go back to your normal kissing.^{[15]
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- This may be a bit of an odd sensation for them (in a good way) if they’ve never done this before, so don’t suck hard like you’re pulling on a straw.
- If you have done this before and things are trending way more to the sexy side than the romantic side, gentle, extremely light bite may really get your partner going!

11

Let out a gentle moan.

Less is more with noise-making, but a soft moan can drive them crazy. You don’t want to be super loud during a kiss or you may throw your partner out of the moment. However, a very quiet moan or cooing noise during an especially intense part of the kiss can really elevate the moment.^{[16]
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- This is definitely one of those moves you probably only want to pull out once during an extended kiss.

12

Pause between kisses if you keep going.

Give the kissing session a little bit of room to breathe (literally). There’s a thin line between a passionate, extended kiss, and overwhelming your partner. Pause in between multiple kisses for a second or so just so you and your partner can actually get a breath.^{[17]
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- This also gives you a brief moment to assess whether your partner wants to keep going or not. If you pause to breathe and they pull back like they’re done, the kiss is probably over.

13

Whisper in their ear for a memorable finish.

You could say something sweet to make the hair on their neck stand up. Leave them with something to think about by whispering something sexy or romantic into their ear as you’re pulling away from one another. You might let them know how much they mean to you, or say something a little suggestive to drive them wild. Either way, it will punctuate the kiss and drive them wild.^{[18]
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Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source} You might say:
- “You drive me crazy, you know that?”
- “You’re the light of my life.”
- “You have no idea how bad I want you.”
- Less is more here. You don’t want to ramble for too long after a passionate kiss!

Expert Q&A

Question

What should you not do while kissing?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try not to bump into each other during the kiss. You want your lips to lock together, not be doing their own things.
Question

What if I like the girl but I don’t know if she likes me? I think it’s kind of awkward. I have three crushes.

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

It's okay to have more than one crush! But if you're going to pursue a girl, it's probably best to focus on the one you like the best. If you don't know if she likes you, try flirting with her a bit. You might give her compliment or try gently brushing against her in the hall. If she makes a lot of eye contact, she compliments you back, or she goes out of her way to be around you, she probably likes you.
Question

Is It ok if I don't make the first move if I'm the guy?

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

Yes, that's totally fine. You shouldn't feel compelled to make the first move if you aren't comfortable with that, and it doesn't matter whether a guy or girl goes first. Just keep in mind, if she's not confident enough to make the first move, you may end up in a situation where nobody does anything!