This article was co-authored by Imad Jbara. Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
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Your school years can be both stressful and fun, or both boring and exciting. You might find your school days going by faster if you there is someone you have a crush on, or just a guy that you find interesting. Although free time is limited during the school days, there are a few ways you can get a guy to notice you. By exuding confidence, getting his attention, and flirting with him, you can successfully get the attention of a guy you like.
Steps
Exuding Confidence
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1Feel good about how you look. It is easier said than done, but often times the best way to get attention from a guy is to exude confidence and be yourself. You can start by making sure you feel good about how you look. There is no perfect weight or perfect style. All that matters is that you find a look that makes you feel confident![1]
- Browse some magazines for outfit ideas and pick out some clothes you like.
- If you don’t have a lot of money, check out local thrift stores or resale shops.
- Decide on a hairstyle that feels good for you.
- Wake up early enough to groom and get ready before school.
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2Take pride in your strengths. Don’t feel like you need to act shy or meek to get attention. In fact, that usually fails to work. Instead, let your strengths shine. You can show your confidence and embrace your talents without being boastful and arrogant, so don’t be afraid of the spotlight.[2] That is where he’s most likely to notice you! Plus, when you own and embrace your talents, you come off as confident and attractive. Maybe your strengths include:
- Your sense of humor.
- Your athleticism.
- Your good grades.
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3Practice positive self-talk. The way you talk to yourself (or about yourself) has a huge impact on the way you feel about yourself. Start boosting your confidence from the inside out by keeping track of the way you talk. As a general rule, don't say anything about yourself that you wouldn't say about your best friend.
- Instead of thinking, "I am terrible at soccer," think "When I practice my soccer moves, I feel better."
- If something goes wrong, try to stop your thoughts from spiraling. You can think, "I made a mistake, but I can decide how the rest of my day goes."
- Make a deal with your friends to correct each other if you hear negative self talk.
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4Write down daily affirmations. Motivate yourself and boost your positivity by setting aside a few minutes each day to write down positive affirmations and read them back to yourself. For added benefit, post them places you often look, such as on your mirror, near your computer monitor, or inside your school locker.
- Write down positive statements, such as “You are worthy of love and support,” “Everything will work out in the end,” or “You can do it!”
- You can find great quotes online if you’re struggling to come up with affirmations.
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5Hold your head high. Confident people are viewed as being more attractive and desirable. The way you hold your body and interact with other people communicates a lot about your confidence level. Show your confidence by making eye contact and smiling at people. Practice holding your body in confident ways, and in time you will begin to feel it on the inside, too.[3] You might try:
- Keeping your shoulders back (leading with your heart).
- Avoid slouching or hunching.
- Hold your head high (you can practice balancing a book on your head).
- Practice your social skills.
Getting His Attention
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1Walk by him in the hall. The simplest strategy for getting a guy’s attention is just to walk past him in the hall. It may take several tries; so if possible, time it so that you walk by his locker once per day. But there are some tricks to it!
- Keep your body language confident (head held high, shoulders back).
- Try to feel good about the way that you look and have a smile on your face.
- You don't want to seem like you are trying to get his attention, so don’t stare!
- Ask a friend to walk and talk with you so that you don’t seem obvious. Your conversation may also catch his attention.
- You may want to practice walking at home until you feel comfortable.
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2Try to catch his eye. After you have done a few “walk-bys,” the next phase in your plan should be to try and lock eyes with him for a few seconds. This might be his first clue that you are interested in him. Don’t stare at him longingly, or try look too eager. Just lock eyes for three seconds and then look away.[4]
- Glance at him the next time you walk by.
- Try to catch his eyes during class.
- Smile if you see him at an assembly or in the lunchroom.
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3Find a reason to talk to him. Once you have successfully made eye contact, you need to find reasons to talk to him. Fortunately, school provides lots of opportunities for that. Think about upcoming school events or shared activities to get ideas for things talk to him about. Before you talk to him, rehearse what you will say so that you don’t get flustered in the moment.[5]
- You might say, “I missed class last Friday. Do you have the English notes?”
- Ask, “Do you know when our permission slips are due?” or “Do you know the date today?"
- Plan what you will say after he answers. For example, you could introduce yourself and thank him for his help.
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4Wear something fun. A cute dress or funky sweater might be enough to get his attention. Choose a fun outfit and save it for a day when you're feeling extra confident. Be sure to walk by his locker on that day.[6]
Flirting With Him
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1Make strong eye contact. Once you have been able to strike up a conversation with this guy, you can move on to actually flirting. An important element of flirtation is making strong eye contact. This is different from just catching his eye from across the hall. When you are flirting, you want to:
- Maintain his gaze while you are talking.
- Keep your gaze soft.
- Smile and/or laugh.
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2Keep conversations light. Your early conversations should be simple, effortless, and brief. Your goal is to keep him wanting more, so you should avoid giving him too much of you at once.[7] Avoid digging into heavy emotional, political, or stressful topics. Avoid complaining or ranting. Instead, talk about something funny or look for things you have in common (like sports, fashion, spring break plans).
- Keep early interactions short and sweet. You can say, "I have that same notebook."
- You can brainstorm a short, funny story ahead of time. For example, try saying, "That reminds me of this time I went to San Jose."
- When in doubt, use compliments! Such as, “Wow, you’re really good at math.”
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3Use touch.[8] If you are talking and feeling great, it might be time to “break the touch barrier.” In other words, you can really communicate that you like someone by using nonchalant touch! You can try:
- Gently touching his arm while laughing
- Brushing against him
- Pretend to clean a leaf from their back
- Make it seem like an accident and see how they respond.
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4Just go for it. Rather than waiting around for him to notice you, take the plunge and ask him out. If it seems like he is interested in you, go ahead and make the first move. Pump yourself up with a motivational song or a confidence-building conversation with your friend before you talk to him. You might say:
- "Hey, are you busy this Saturday? Maybe we could catch a movie."
- "Would you want to grab a coffee sometime?"
- "Do you have a date for the dance next week?"
Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat can I do to get a guy to notice me?Imad JbaraImad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
Dating CoachWhen you're talking to the guy you have a crush on, try lightly touching his arm to show that you're interested in him. Giving him compliments will also make him feel good.
References
- ↑ http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-start-feeling-at-peace-with-the-way-you-look/
- ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
- ↑ http://www.cnbc.com/2016/09/14/7-body-language-tricks-to-exude-confidence.html?slide=7
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201112/break-the-ice-how-talk-girls-and-guys-0
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201112/break-the-ice-how-talk-girls-and-guys-0
- ↑ http://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/g148/how-to-get-his-attention/?slide=5
- ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
- ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.