How to Get Your Significant Other to Work Out

Last Updated: November 27, 2021

If your goal is to get your honey to lay off the “honey” and hit the gym, the worst approach you can take is a blunt one. No one wants to be told they need to work out, especially if they’ve put on a few “love” pounds over the years. However, you can motivate your significant other to get more fit without hurting their feelings or damaging your relationship.

Steps

1
Take the “let’s get healthy” approach. You want your sweetheart around for the long haul and being out of shape is not only a little unattractive, it can be working against the aging process. Those who infuse cardio and exercise into their lives can help slow down the aging process and prevent chronic and possibly deadly diseases.
- Let their doctor take the blame. Your significant other’s doctor told them some tests were a little off--the cholesterol or sugars were too high, for example. Tell your sweetheart you love them and that you want to lower the numbers together in the gym.
- They are feeling a bit sluggish and tired lately--exercise can help. Rev the engines and increase energy levels by being more physically active. If they complain that they are exhausted all the time, consider adding a quick walk or run at night. Once your significant other sees the increase in energy, they may want to hit the gym to achieve that level of pep.
- Focus completely on health and not weight. Especially if you are heading into or are already in middle age or beyond, exercise is no longer just to look hot. It keeps the organs healthy and may help your honey avoid the same medications their friends have started (i.e. blood pressure pills etc.).
2
Compliment their toned physique after one workout. The best way to keep the motivation train running is to start gushing a few days following that initial workout. They will love the strokes, which may have them continuing with the workouts.
- Be sincere and not fake. Don’t tell them that after that first workout he/she has certainly lost 20 pounds. However, a compliment like, “Hey, your biceps look firmer,” or “Your butt looks pretty good” will take you pretty far.
- Don't deliver a compliment while looking for one in return. Don’t be flexing in the mirror, glance over and then say, “Hey baby, you look hot, what do you think about these guns?” They will know it’s a backhanded compliment and see through your ruse.
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3
Choose a fitness routine that may not seem like exercise. For example, suggest taking a doubles tennis class together or ballroom dancing. They may think it's a fun way to bond, when in reality you’ll know that you are raising their heart rate.
- Find something that will interest your mate. Maybe a game of touch football sounds like heaven on earth to you, but to them it's a snooze fest. Consider what they would enjoy before you start making plans.
- Get friends in on your game. If your friend wants to get their spouse or partner to workout too, make it a foursome for added fun (make sure that the spouses are friends before you commit).
- Select something they can do. Don't go hard core if your sweetie hasn’t been working out lately or hasn’t worked out at all. Find something you know they will find successful and enjoy.
- Get competitive. Some people are motivated by friendly competition. Consider rolling out a “challenge” where you will see who can be a better golfer, runner etc.
4
Talk about your successful results--without being annoying. Nothing motivates some people more than seeing their partner getting hot and toned while they are still sluggish and doughy (although be careful with this notion as some people may retreat into sloth even more).
- Pull out old clothes that you’d been saving for a “skinny day.” They may be green with envy if you can fit back into your old size or better yet---the smallest size ever.
- Purchase new clothing that accentuates your new figure. Shopping can be fun when you are able to wear outfits you couldn’t fit into before. They may see that and want the same for them.
5
Ask them to motivate you to work out. Another way to entice your mate to exercise is to act as though (or maybe it’s true) you can’t get motivated to work out unless you have a partner--your significant other.
- Ask them to help you devise a fitness plan. This is a sneaky way of getting them to perhaps look at a fitness plan for themself. Use online apps or fitness websites to help you configure a program that will fit both of your needs.
- Tell them you can’t get motivated unless they join you. Avoid whining when asking them to continue to stick to the program. Be direct but explain that your continued dedication is dependent upon their participation.

Community Q&A

Question

How can I ask my boy friend to get in shape by text? I can't tell him face to face.

Community Answer

Try to be honest and make it mostly about how you care about him and want him to be healthy. You can even suggest working out and getting in shape together.

Warnings

Never make threats or check out other people in an effort get them to workout. Doing so may only damage your relationship and egos.

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