How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend to Chase You: 13 Powerful Tips

Co-authored by Nicole Moore and Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

Last Updated: July 6, 2022 References

Do you want your ex back without a lot of effort? Why not get her to chase you? It’s totally possible to get your ex to fall for you again, and we’re here to help. We have the ultimate guide to getting your ex-girlfriend to chase you.

1

Go no-contact.

Pulling away allows her to pursue you. Even though it’s hard, cutting off all contact for 2 to 4 weeks might be the trick to getting her to miss you. Start by blocking her phone number so you can’t call or text her, and stop talking about her with your friends. Finally, unfollow her on social media so you can do a full digital detox from her, which will make it easier to focus on yourself.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Amy Chan
Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.}
- Don’t block her on social media because you want her to still be able to check up on you. Hopefully, she’ll keep following your accounts so she can see how amazing your life is now.
- She may reach out to you during this time. Resist responding until your no-contact period is over. You want her to think you’re too busy for her now.

2

Stay connected to mutual friends.

Your mutual friends keep you connected to your ex. After a breakup, it might be awkward maintaining those friendships, at least at first.^{[2]
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Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source} Keep following your mutual friends on social media and ask them to hang out sometimes. Hopefully, they’ll tell your ex what you’ve been doing lately, so you’ll be on her mind.
- If they follow you on social media, you’ve already won half the battle. They’ll see all your posts and pics and might bring it up to your ex.

3

Post photos of you having fun.

Women are often drawn to partners who seem happy and fulfilled. You are an amazing person, so remind her of that. Use your social media feed to show her your life is wonderful without her. When she sees you getting likes and comments, it’ll make you seem like a more social, popular person—which will make her want you more.^{[3]
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Research source} Hopefully, she’ll realize she made a mistake letting you go.
- Take pictures of you hanging out with your friends or your pet.
- Post a photo of you practicing a hobby, such as playing guitar or working on your soccer skills.
- Take a picture of an activity you’re doing, like playing a game, strolling around a museum, or bicycling.

4

Act happy and confident if you run into her.

Confidence makes you look attractive. To help you feel more confident, make a list of reasons why you’re such a great catch.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Nicole Moore
Love & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.} Remind yourself of these things when you’re around your ex so you project confidence. Additionally, smile and act like it’s no big deal that you’re seeing her. She’ll wonder why you aren’t chasing after her anymore, and that’ll make her want you more.
- While you’re still doing no-contact, smile, nod, and keep walking. You might say “Hi” back if she talks to you. You don’t want to totally ignore her, but you also don’t want her to feel like you’re eager to talk.

5

Text her when your no-contact period ends.

Keep it simple with “Hey, how have you been?” You could also try asking her a question to start a conversation. Another option is to tell her that something reminded you of her. Text her something like:
- “Hi, how’s it going?”
- “Hey there. I’ve really been missing you.”
- “I drove by our spot today, and it made me think of you.”
- “Today I ate some skittles and remembered they’re your favorite. How are you?”
- “Hey, do you know what time Toby’s party starts?”
- “I was wondering if you have the notes from class today.”

6

Keep your interactions short.

Leave her wanting more so she has to chase you. You probably want to spend as much time around her as possible, but resist the temptation. You want her to feel like your time and attention are in short supply so she craves them. Chat with her for a few minutes but then tell her you have somewhere to be. Say:
- “It’s been so good seeing you. Right now I have to meet a friend, but maybe we’ll run into each other again.”
- “I really like talking to you, but I have to go. We’ll chat again soon.”
- “I’ll have my phone off for a while because I’m out with friends. I’ll text you back later tonight.”

7

Adopt healthy habits so you look and feel your best.

Catch her eye so she can’t stop thinking about you. Start by wearing outfits that make you feel attractive and confident. Additionally, eat a balanced diet that nourishes your body, and exercise so you radiate from the inside and feel really in-tune with your body.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Nicole Moore
Love & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.} Not only will you feel amazing, you’ll also impress your ex.
- Choose an exercise you find fun, like dancing, playing sports, walking with a friend, roller skating, or bicycling.

8

Reconnect with your hobbies and interests.

She fell for the person you were when you first got together. Like most people, you probably spent less time doing the things you love while you were in a relationship. Reignite your passions and just be yourself, and she might fall for you all over again.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Nicole Moore
Love & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.}
- You might start playing the guitar again, gaming with friends, or performing in community theater. You could also post photos of your art, join a recreational sports team, or attend a festival.

9

Do something surprising.

Show her there’s more to you than she realizes. She may think she knows everything about you since you’ve dated, so show her she’s wrong. Try something new and exciting that has always interested you. People thrive on surprise, so you’ll instantly get her attention.^{[7]
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Trustworthy Source
Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
Go to source} Here are some ideas:
- Cut or dye your hair.
- Try a new sport.
- Take up an instrument.
- Host a party.
- Publish an e-book.
- Enter an art show.
- Get a new pet.
- Switch up your wardrobe.
- Sing karaoke.

10

Fix the issues that caused your break-up.

Show her you’ve changed. If you had problems in your relationship, she may be hesitant to fall for you again. Fortunately, you have the power to change that. Take responsibility for anything that went wrong on your end and try to be better moving forward.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 11 March 2021.}
- Maybe she thought you were too much of a homebody before. You could focus on going out more and seeing friends.
- Perhaps she hated that you never dressed up for dates. Post photos of you wearing dressier attire while out to dinner with friends or family.

11

Work on your self-improvement goals.

Women want a partner who’s focused on personal growth. To get her attention, make sure you’re putting the work in to be your best self. Identify some goals that are important to you, and then start working toward them.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 11 March 2021.} You could try:
- Looks: Change your hairstyle or wardrobe to create the look you want.
- Social: Make new friends, join a club, or hang out with friends more often.
- Personality: Take up a hobby, learn a new skill, or take a class.
- Money: Get a job, change jobs, or enroll in a college or university.

12

Message her regularly so she sees how you’ve changed.

You can draw her back to you over text and social media. Check in with her a few times a week to let her know what you’re doing, and comment on her social media posts. You could even send her snaps of what you’re up to so she sees you’re having fun and working toward your goals. You might say things like:
- “Hey! Just wanted to say hi! 😉 I’ve been busy all weekend at a soccer tournament and just now saw your snaps.”
- “How have you been? Today I finally tried that restaurant you always talk about. Yum! 😋🍽”
- “You seem to be having fun! Yesterday I went to Karaoke🎤 and thought of you. We should finally do that duet you always wanted.”
- “Thinking about you a lot lately. I really took what you said to heart, and I’ve changed a lot since we broke up. Just wanted you to know that 💛.”

13

Tell her how you feel if she’s slipping away.

Being honest and vulnerable may be the only way to get her back. It’s so scary to put your heart on the line, so do it over text if that feels easier. Tell her that you still have feelings for her and want her back. Hopefully, she feels the same way.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Nicole Moore
Love & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.} Say something like:
- “Since our breakup, I think about you all of the time. I really miss what we had, and I want you back. I’ve really been working on myself lately, and I can be a better partner for you. Would you be willing to give me a second chance?”
- “After we broke up, I just felt empty. You’re the girl for me. I know things weren’t perfect, but I think they can be so much better if you’d just give me a second chance.”
- “I really miss what we had. I was hoping you’d go out with me on a date this weekend to see if we can try again.”

Warnings

As much as you love your ex, it’s possible she’s not the right person for you. If it seems like your ex is moving on, it may be best to focus on a new match.^{[11]
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Research source
[v160969_b01]. 10 February 2021.}

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