How to Get Women to Notice You

Co-authored by Cher Gopman

Last Updated: October 7, 2022 References

It seems that whenever you hang out with friends, all the women pay attention to your friends and hardly give you a second look. You might even have your eye on a certain woman, but no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to get her attention. Don't despair! There are ways of getting noticed by women, including the one you are interested in. This article will give you some tips and advice on both getting and keeping the attention.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Acting the Part

1
Step outside your home or office. No one will notice you if you stay indoors all the time, so if you want to get noticed, get out of your home, room, or office. Go to the bar, bookstore, cafe, gym, movies, park, or some other place where you are likely to meet people. The busier the place is, the more likely it is that someone will see you and notice you.
2
Bring something interesting with you when going out. One way to get a woman's attention is by having something that can act as an icebreaker or a conversation starter. The next time you head out to the park or go for a walk, consider taking your pet dog with you.
- If you decide to bring your dog with you, make sure that your dog is friendly and socialized. The last thing you'd want is for a woman to notice you and your dog, approach you, and then be barked at.
- Hobbies, such as drawing or playing the guitar, can help draw attention to you. If you choose to play an instrument, however, make sure that you are doing it in a place where you will not be disruptive to other people. A park or beach would be a great place to play music and get some female attention without disturbing other people. Don't put on a performance or show-off, just play casually.
- It can also be as simple as an interesting hat (such as a fedora) or a funny T-shirt.
Advertisement
3
Talk to women. Some women may not notice you until you walk up to them and engage them in conversation. Making the first move can be scary and intimidating, but not saying anything might prevent you from getting noticed in the first place. You do not need to have an entire speech planned out; a simple "Hey" or "How's it going?" could be enough to get a conversation going. Avoid doing this if the woman appears busy or uncomfortable, however. For example:
- If a woman has her arms crossed, is not smiling, or is standing in the corner, she may not feel like interacting with anyone. Instead, try to make eye contact with her and smile.^{[1]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} If she makes eye contact and smiles in return, then you may go talk to her. If she ignores you or glares at you, do not approach.
- If a woman is talking on the phone or to some friends, wait until she is done before approaching her. Interrupting is rude and will get you the wrong type of attention.
- If the woman is dressed up nicely and speaking with another man, she is most likely on a date. No not interrupt people if they are on a date.
4
Maintain eye contact while talking.^{[2]
X
Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} When you are talking to a woman, look at her face. Keeping eye contact will not only make you appear more confident and trustworthy, but it will also reassure the woman that you are interested in her. She may even notice and remember you as the nice guy who spent the entire evening focused on her (as opposed to that other guy who kept sneaking glances at other women).
- You can also make eye contact with someone you wish to speak to. If a woman notices you making eye contact with her, she may take it as a sign that you wish to speak with her, and she might approach you. Be sure to give a smile as well.^{[3]
  X
  Research source}
- Do not stare at her chest. Women do not like having their chests gawked at.^{[4]
  X
  Research source} You may get attention, but it will not be the positive kind, and may result in a sharp remark or a slap.
5
Plan what to say before approaching a woman. Having an idea of what you want to talk about ahead of time can help you approach a conversation with more confidence, which is something that women will notice and be impressed by.^{[5]
X
Research source} This can also help you when you don't know what to say. Avoid sensitive subjects such as religion and politics, but consider asking the woman about herself. Here are some examples of what you can say or talk about:
- If you know that the woman is traveling or visiting, you can ask her where she is from. This can lead to more questions, such as how she likes it here and whether or not she has done anything interesting or exciting yet. If the woman likes you and has not yet done anything interesting, you can ask her out on a date.
- Ask the woman about her interests, such as what sort of music she likes to listen to or what books she likes to read.^{[6]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} She will notice this and remember you as the nice guy who liked to talk about her. You do not want to be remembered as the self-centered guy who bragged about himself all night.
- If the conversation lulls and there is an awkward silence, try to keep the conversation going. Tell her something funny or amusing, or make a comment about something.^{[7]
  X
  Research source} Women will notice how you handle the awkward silence and remember you for it. Give her a positive memory!
6
Know when to back off. The last thing you want to do is to make someone feel uncomfortable. If you notice a woman fidgeting, looking at her watch or cellphone, looking away from you, or not engaging in the conversation, you may want to give her some space. She might be in a hurry to get somewhere, or she may not feel uncomfortable talking to you just yet. If this happens, do not press her or push her to keep talking to you. Simply smile and end the conversation politely. For example:
- If you notice the woman looking uncomfortable or hurried, you could say something like: "It was nice chatting with you. I'll let you get back to what you were doing."
- If the conversation has been friendly or going well, don't be afraid to ask the woman for her number, or offer her yours. She may just be in a hurry to get to an appointment and wish to speak with you later. You could say something like: "It was nice getting to know you. I'd be up for chatting with you again some time soon. Why don't we keep in touch?"
- Pressing a woman to talk when she does not wish to talk will make her feel uncomfortable and not want to talk to you any more. Worse still, other women might notice her distress and make them want to avoid you.
7
Put away your cellphone. Looking down at a cell phone screen will make you disappear into the background. It will also make you appear unsociable and unapproachable. If a woman does notice you, she may only do so for a moment before moving her attention to someone or something else.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Looking the Part

1
Wear nice, clean clothes. This doesn't mean that you have to wear a suit in order to get women to notice you; you can still capture a woman's attention with a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. The key is to wear clothing that is clean and not ripped, torn, dirty, or wrinkled.^{[8]
X
Research source} Dirty, ripped clothing may get you brief attention, but it will not be the positive kind, and the woman may not look your way again.
2
Groom yourself and maintain your hygiene. Looking and smelling clean will not only increase the chances of a woman noticing you, but it will also increase the chances of a woman approaching you and wanting to interact with you.^{[9]
X
Research source} Grooming yourself means that you bathe every day, brush your teeth, and keep your hands and nails clean.
- If you like to wear a beard, maintain it by keeping it free of crumbs and trimming it—even if you like to wear it long.
- If you tend to get bad breath, pop a mint before starting up a conversation.
3
Consider wearing some cologne. If you can't get a woman to notice you through sight or sound, get her to notice you through smell. Avoid any cheap, drugstore brands, however, and avoid wearing too much. Cheap, drugstore cologne usually do not smell good, and too much cologne (even if it is the most expensive kind) can be a huge turn-off; it can also irritate the nose and repulse women rather than spark their interest. This is not the kind of attention you'd want!
- If you can still smell your cologne some time after you have applied it, you probably put on too much. If you aren't sure if you put on too much, try going into a small room or sniffing your shirt. If you can still smell the cologne strongly, then you put on too much.
- If you put on too much cologne, you may have to change your shirt. If you cannot change your shirt, consider wiping it off with a damp towel. Do this in a bathroom or a private room.
- Consider changing your cologne up to match the season and occasion. For example, you could wear something with a citrus undertone during the warm, summer months, and save the deep, spicy scents for the winter.
4
Wear a shirt with something funny on it. Humor can be a great icebreaker, and the easiest way to do that is by wearing a shirt, pin, or patch with a funny or amusing picture or slogan on it.^{[10]
X
Research source} Try to stay away from anything that might be insulting, as you risk driving women away from you instead.
- Insulting things include anything that is aimed at a particular race, gender, political party, or ethnicity.
5
Make yourself more approachable through posture. A stiff posture will not only make you appear too proud or serious,but it may also cause you to disappear into the background. Try a more open posture instead. Not only will it help you stand out more and get noticed, but it will make you appear more open, friendly, and approachable. There are many ways to achieve this:^{[11]
X
Research source}
- Stand up straight, with your shoulders slightly thrown back, and your head up. This will make you appear more confident, aware, and awake.
- If you are sitting, try leaning forward ever so slightly. This will make you appear more interested and engaged in the conversation.
- Keep your arms at your sides and uncrossed. Crossed arms make you appear defensive and moody.
- If you are sitting, keep your legs straight, and don't cross them. Crossed legs make you appear defensive and moody.
6
Do not slouch, cross your arms, or put your hands into your pockets.^{[12]
X
Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} Hiding in corners and slouching with your arms crossed over your chest or your hands stuffed into your pockets will not only make you less noticeable, but it will also make you appear unapproachable. Even if a woman does see you, she might think that you do not want to talk, and move her attention to someone or something else.
7
Make yourself approachable with a smile.^{[13]
X
Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} Studies have shown that smiling not only makes a person appear more attractive, but more trustworthy and approachable as well.^{[14]
X
Research source} Smiling will make you less intimidating and might encourage the woman you are trying to impress to approach you. Do not overdo it, however; a fake, cheesy smile that you wear all night long might make you appear crazy or creepy. You want your smile to be genuine—the type that reaches your eyes and makes them crease.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Getting Noticed on Dating Websites

1
Post good quality pictures. Many people do not use good quality pictures on their profiles, so a good quality picture will make you stand out on the search page.^{[15]
X
Research source} This is important, as some people search only by pictures and either turn the descriptions off, or don't read them.
- Consider hiring a professional or a talented friend to photograph you.^{[16]
  X
  Research source} Don't edit the photo too much, however; you want the photo to flatter you, but you also want it to depict you honestly.
2
Post several, updated and current photos. This does not mean that you should flood the gallery with a dozen pictures of yourself; post at least two to three pictures up-to-date photos of yourself. Current photos are photos taken in the past year.
- If you changed something major about your appearance, such as shaving off your beard or cutting off your long hair, take a new photo of yourself and use that one on your profile.
3
Consider posting a photo of yourself smiling and having fun. Not only do smiles help you look attractive, but having a photo of yourself having fun will help you stand out from the rest. This includes photos of yourself at an amusement park, on a camping trip, performing music, scuba diving, or riding a horse. If you have some interesting hobbies, such as scuba diving, be sure to post a photo of yourself performing them!
4
Don't post pictures of yourself with other people, especially girls. Posting yourself with other people will detract attention from you. If you post a picture of yourself with some friends, you might risk your friends getting the attention instead. If you post a picture of yourself with another girl, people may misinterpret and think that the girl is an ex-girlfriend—even if she is a family member or friend. The woman viewing your profile may not know that, and she might assume the worst.
- Avoid posting multiple pictures of your car, truck, or motorcycle, no matter how cool you think it is. Women visit your profile to see you, not your car, truck or motorcycle.
- Consider posting a picture of yourself and your pet.^{[17]
  X
  Research source} Some women might find the animal in your picture cute and remember you because of that. Be wary of including pictures of yourself with your pet, however; some women might not like the type of animal you keep for a pet.
5
Write more in the description and don't leave blank spaces. Short, brief, or empty profiles may prevent you from getting noticed. Don't leave a blank profile, and don't use cop-outs such as "Message me to find out more... ;)" or "I don't know what to say."^{[18]
X
Research source} Aim for something that is a few paragraphs long.
- Don't write too much, however. Long profiles may lose you attention as well, as most women are skimming the search results and either don't have the time to, or don't want to, read something that is six paragraphs long. You want something that is a few paragraphs long.^{[19]
  X
  Research source}
6
Avoid common phrases and clichés in the description. You want your profile to stand out and be memorable. Common phrases and clichés will make you appear just like everyone else. If a woman sees something in your profile that she has seen in at least ten others, she will skip your profile and continue searching. Common phrases include:^{[20]
X
Research source}^{[21]
X
Research source}
- Seeking my partner in crime
- My friends say I am funny/have a nice smile/pretty eyes
- I like walks in the park/long walks in the sunset on the beach
- I don't play games or do drama
- I like to go out and stay in
- Work hard, play/party hard
7
Show, don't tell. Instead of simply stating that you are funny in your profile, consider using humor in your description. If you like to have adventures, don't just write "I am adventurous and love the outdoors," but add a short story of an outdoor adventure you had. This will help distinguish you from the hundreds other men appearing in search results who are also calling themselves "funny" and "adventurous."
8
Use some humor. Humor can not only make you stand out on the search page, but also make you more memorable. Try to use a humorous tag line or username, or use humorous and witty language in your description. Do not overdo it, however; doing so might make you come off as cheesy, fake, or annoying. The best places to use humor are in the tagline, the first sentence of your profile, and the last sentence.
- You can be humorous by referring to popular internet memes, television shows, songs, and movies. Be sure to use ones that are currently popular, however.
9
Use an eyecatching headline. Another way to stand out from other search results is by having a catchy headline. You can make your headline catchy through humor, including puns, rhyme, and alliteration. Doing so will make you appear creative and witty.
- Don't use phrases that are suggestive or sexual in your headline.^{[22]
  X
  Research source}

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I get a girl to notice me without talking to her?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Body language is a great way to attract women. Try making eye contact with them and smiling to let them know that you're interested in talking to them.

Warnings

Do not stalk. It might get you attention from the police instead.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 10 Not Helpful 2
If a woman appears uneasy or uncomfortable around you, give her some space.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 9 Not Helpful 3
Keep in mind that although you might be attracted to a certain woman, she may not be attracted to you. She may have noticed you already, but has decided not to pursue you.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 7 Not Helpful 2