Psychotherapist
This article is based on an expert interview with Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW, conducted by wikiHow Staff Editors. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
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One of the best ways to improve communication in a relationship is ensuring that you feel heard by your partner. In this video, Licensed Clinical Social Worker Kelli Miller outlines the difference between being heard and being listened to, and the importance of practice when it comes to validating the ones you care about. Strengthening the skill of hearing your partner will take your couple's communication to the next level.
Key Takeaways
- Make sure both you and your partner feel heard in the relationship.
- Feeling heard and feeling listened to are actually two different things.
- Being listened to is easy and involuntary, whereas being heard means your partner really understands what you’re saying and can explain it back to you.
Video Transcript
Always make sure that you feel heard by your partner. Feeling heard and feeling listened to are two different things, and a lot of people don't realize it. Feeling heard means feeling understood. While being listened to is easy and involuntary from your partner, being heard is that your partner understands what you're saying and can validate it back. Both you and your partner should practice actively validating and making the other person feel heard when you're communicating, then working to address each other's needs in a constructive way.
