How to Enjoy Being in the Closet (for Girls)

Co-authored by Deb Schneider, LCSW, PPSC

Last Updated: December 28, 2022

When you realize you're LGBTQ, you may begin to wonder how you'll tell your parents, friends, and others, which can leave you feeling confused and insecure. Although, you can still have fun while in the closet and this article can show you how.

Steps

1
Take your time and think about what you're doing. Consider why you're attempting to hide your identity. Is it because you're afraid of what others will think? Or being rejected? Take some time to think about whether this is something you want to keep hidden. Proceed once you've found the answer.
- Every individual must decide for themselves whether and when it is appropriate to come out, and for many LGBTQ+ people, coming out is a lifelong process that occurs repeatedly, not just once. Nobody owes anyone information about their sexual orientation, gender identity, or sex life in general–sexuality is private, and everyone has the right to privacy.
- Everyone in a romantic relationship should have an open and honest dialogue about their likes, dislikes, wants, needs, and boundaries on a regular basis. This should include when, how, and how often you'll communicate, what you're comfortable with romantically or sexually, and what kind of commitment you're looking for, especially when you're first getting to know someone. Queer people who are not out must be even more vigilant in ensuring that everyone in the relationship is on the same page about what is and isn't acceptable.
2
Make (new) friends. Find people who are encouraging, supportive, and kind. Your sexual identity doesn't define you entirely, and you can still have friends regardless of who you are orientation-wise.

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3
Read a book. Choose something you enjoy and find a comfortable spot. Grab a cup of your favorite tea and begin reading.
4
Create outfits. Put on whatever you want. Wear whatever you want, whether it's a dress or a suit, sweatpants or jeans, as long as you like it! Don't be concerned about what others think of your attire—the clothing you want to wear is your choice.
5
Give yourself a manicure.You could spend some time painting your nails a fun new color. You can also look up fun nail designs to try yourself on the internet. Or you can just clip and file them--it's up to you.
6
Listen to music. Music is a great stress-reliever, and it's fun to listen to. Grab your phone and play your favorite tunes; or have a solo dance party and dance your heart away. Try copying some of your favorite celebrities' dance moves or inventing your own.
7
Enjoy your favorite hobbies. Whether it's play electric guitar, painting, or karate, have fun doing the things you love; just because you're in the closet doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself!
8
Remember to take care of yourself. Reduce the amount of stress in your life so that you can have more fun. To keep your body strong, exercise 3-5 times per week and drink 8-10 glasses of water per day to stay hydrated. Avoid bad habits such as smoking and binge drinking. Maintain good hygiene in order to look and feel better about yourself. Make getting enough sleep a priority so that your body can function optimally. When your body is tired, take some time to rest and let loose once in a while. Eat a healthy diet to show your appreciation for your body.