Forming soul ties to significant others is all too common—and if you still feel bound to your ex, cutting those connections might be your best way to move on. Soul ties are deep emotional bonds that make you feel like someone else is anchored to your soul. It might seem challenging to cut a bond like that, but we're here to help. Read on for a complete guide to breaking a soul tie with an ex.

1

Acknowledge the soul tie.

  1. You can only break a soul tie if you’re aware of it first. Even if you want to move on from your ex, sometimes your heart will hang onto the broken relationship. Understand that only you can break the soul tie, and you must fully commit to doing so—even though it may be painful.
    • To acknowledge the soul tie, look for signs that you have one. This includes feeling like you’ve known someone forever, or like your emotions are tied to theirs. You might also feel like meeting them was fate, and think about them constantly.[1]
    • After a relationship ends, you’ll still feel connected to this person if you have a soul tie. It’ll be difficult to forget details of the relationship, and you may even dream about them.
    • If you tend to have a hard time letting go, this step is critical to eventually breaking the soul tie between you and your ex.
    • Keep in mind that it's normal to still have feelings for an ex, and that it's okay to love people for different reasons. Your ex was a part of your life for a long time, and you don't open your heart and close it right up again!
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3

Discard items that remind you of your ex.

  1. To break a soul tie, make sure nothing remains of your ex in your home. Collect everything from your relationship, including your ex's gifts, belongings, and objects that hold sentimental value. Then, remove them from your living space. You can throw them out, donate them, or give them away.[3]
    • Some people find it cathartic to burn these items—although it should be done in a secure and controlled environment if you do this. Only burn things that are safe to dispose of, like letters and photos.
    • Whatever you do, don't just store the items in a basement, attic, or closet. If they're in your house, you can still go look at them.
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4

Purge your ex from your social media.

5

Forgive your ex.

  1. Let go of past wounds from the relationship to find peace. If a relationship ends badly, it's easy to get caught up in whose fault it was or hold resentment towards your ex. Reflect on the relationship, and acknowledge the negative emotions you feel. Then, choose to forgive your ex and let go of all grudges.[5]
    • Forgiveness can be difficult, but it's worth the effort. Holding onto resentment can harm your mental health and relationships with other people.
    • Even if your ex hurt you, forgiving them is really an act of kindness that you do for yourself because it lets you move on with an unburdened heart.
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6

Meditate on the soul tie.

  1. This will help you clear your thoughts and focus on your task. For basic meditation, sit down in a comfortable, private place and begin by focusing on your breaths. Focus your eyes on a fixed point and try to feel how the air passes through your body and how your body moves as you take breaths.[6]
    • Meditation helps you slow down and pay attention to what you feel in the moment. With meditation, you can set yourself up to break the soul tie with your ex.
    • Try speaking to your ex's soul as you meditate. Tell them that you've decided you won't be bound to them anymore.
    • You don't have to meditate for long periods. Just five minutes a day can help you greatly!
7

Visualize cutting the soul tie.

8

Pray for guidance and strength.

  1. If you're religious, this may empower you to break the soul tie. Offer a sincere prayer as you mentally cut ties with your ex. That spiritual declaration can help you feel like you have fully and decisively removed your ex from the picture. And on days where breaking a soul tie feels impossible, saying a prayer will keep you grounded and determined to move forward.[8]
    • If you're spiritual but not religious, you could instead pray to a spirit guide for assistance.
9

Write your ex a letter.

  1. This will help you vent all of your feelings about your ex and let them go. Explain why you've chosen to forgive your ex, and tell them that you're letting them go once and for all. Put all of your thoughts about the relationship into this letter, so you can release every bottled-up emotion from your body.[9]
    • You don't have to send this letter to your ex. The simple act of writing the letter to release your emotions and break the soul tie is enough.
    • Sometimes, breaking a soul tie takes time. If one letter isn't enough, keep a journal of your thoughts instead, and release your negative emotions on paper over time.
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10

Build up your self-esteem.

  1. After a relationship with a soul tie, your confidence may be bruised. When they're strong and healthy, soul ties can make you feel great about yourself—so it's natural to feel unsure and discouraged when a soul tie is broken. Work on building your self-esteem by using positive affirmations, recognizing your strengths, and cutting out negative self-talk.[10]
    • It's easy to feel like a soul tie made you complete, but that's not true; you are complete, and you always were. Building self-esteem lets you finally let go of the past and look to the future!
11

Talk to a professional.

  1. Spiritual advisors or psychologists can help you cut soul ties. Pick a professional with lots of experience helping people recover from past relationships. They can provide you with advice and support as you work to break the connection with your ex. They can also empower you to keep moving forward and help to feel less alone throughout the process.
    • You can also make an appointment with a mental health professional to help you work through your breakup and deal with your feelings of loss.[11]
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About This Article

Erika Kaplan
Co-authored by:
Matchmaker
This article was co-authored by Erika Kaplan and by wikiHow staff writer, Glenn Carreau. Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29. This article has been viewed 71,413 times.
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Co-authors: 4
Updated: November 16, 2022
Views: 71,413
Categories: Dating
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