How to Attract a Girl Who Doesn't Like You Back (15+ Tips to Get Her Attention)

Co-authored by Alessandra Conti and Amy Bobinger

Last Updated: August 25, 2021 References

Unrequited crushes are the worst, right? You've got it bad for a cute girl, but she just doesn't seem to feel the same way. While you can't actually make anyone like you, there are things you can do to catch her attention. With a little luck, she might just notice what an amazing catch you are. But even if she doesn't, you can still work on being the best version of yourself—so when that special someone does come along, you'll be ready for her!

1

Hang out where you'll run into each other.

If you're around more, she might be more attracted to you. If you find natural opportunities to be near your crush, take them! For instance, if she always meets her friends outside of the gym before school, you might ask your best friend to meet you there, too. If you know she works at a local coffee shop, you might drop by once in a while for a latte.^{[1]
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- This is known as the familiarity effect—spending time around someone can often make you feel more positive around them.
- Just don't go overboard. It will seem creepy if you're always showing up wherever she goes. A good rule of thumb is to only hang out in places where you'd go even if she wasn't there, so it will seem like you're crossing paths naturally.

2

Ask her for a favor.

Giving her a chance to help you might make her like you. When you like a girl, it can be tempting to want to do everything for her, like carrying her books or fixing her flat tire. It's totally fine to be there if she asks you for something, but she's actually more likely to be into you if you let her help you with something, instead. Benjamin Franklin famously used this trick to win people over—if it worked for him, it might just work for you! ^{[2]
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- If you're in class together, ask her if you can borrow a pencil. If you're out at a bar, ask her if she can watch your drink while you make a phone call.

3

Make her laugh.

Having a great sense of humor is always attractive. Try sending her a meme that made you laugh, or tell her a story about something funny that happened earlier in the day. Don't be afraid to get a little goofy—if you can get her laughing, she might just start to see you as crush material.^{[3]
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- Be willing to laugh at yourself, too! For instance, instead of getting upset because you spilled mustard on your shirt, you could say something like, "Well, I always did think this shirt needed a splash of yellow."^{[4]
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4

Point out things you have in common.

She'll like you more if you're similar. People love to say "opposites attract," but actually, we're more likely to fall for someone we have a lot in common with. When you're hanging out with your crush, let her know when she says something you agree with, and chime in when she mentions a band or a movie you like. Just be authentic about it—if you pretend to like things just because she does, she'll probably be put off when the truth eventually comes out.^{[5]
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- For instance, if she mentions that she loves baseball, you might say, "Oh, I grew up watching the Mets with my dad! Who's your favorite team?"
- Talk about values you share, too—if she says something about protecting the environment or reducing her carbon footprint, you might say, "I think taking care of our planet is really important."

5

Be her friend without any expectations.

Get to know each other without any pressure to date. There's no guarantee that this will lead to a relationship—in fact, if she thinks you're just being her friend because you want to date her, it will probably push her away. However, if you really like this girl, try to genuinely enjoy building a friendship with her. She may become more attracted to you as you become closer, but even if that never happens, you can never go wrong with having more friends in life.^{[6]
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- It's okay if you can't be best friends with your crush. You can't help how you feel about someone, and if it's painful to get too close without dating, it might be better to keep some distance.

6

Tease her a little.

Be playful, but make sure it isn't mean-spirited. Teasing a girl can show her that you like her, but that you're confident enough to play around a little. But you have to be careful with this—if you tease her about something that she's sensitive about, you could really hurt her feelings and push her away.^{[7]
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- To keep things lighthearted, try teasing her about one of her strengths, but make it sound like an insult. If she's really great at math, for instance, you might say, "Hey Taylor, are you ready to fail this math test today?"

7

Don't let her know that you like her.

Play it cool when she's around. Try to act totally natural, like you're not interested in her at all. Spend time talking to your friends, reading a book, or whatever you'd do if she wasn't there. This can seem counterintuitive—you might feel like the best thing you can do is to let her know how you feel! However, if you're too eager, it can push her away.^{[8]
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- Acting indifferent can make her feel more curious about you, which could make her like you more!
- To up your game even more, try to alternate ignoring her and showing interest in her. When you keep her guessing, she'll spend more time thinking about you, because she'll be trying to figure out how you feel!^{[9]
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8

Follow her on social media.

Just don't go overboard with liking her photos. While it's fine to interact with your crush on social media, don't go through her feed and leave a like on every single post. A couple of reactions or a single comment is plenty. Also, try not to focus only on her selfies—it's better to engage with posts that show who she really is, like a snap of her soccer trophy or a photo of her snoozing pup.^{[10]
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- If you leave a comment, try asking a question about what's going on—that will show her you're interested in learning more about her. For instance, if she posts a picture of a home-cooked meal, you might comment, "This looks awesome, did you make it yourself?"
- Don't follow every single account she has, since that might seem a little overeager. Instead, follow her on the one or two platforms you use the most.
- If you have a pet, show them off on your feed! Some studies show that having a furry friend could make you more attractive to women—and besides, everybody loves seeing cute animals while they're scrolling.^{[11]
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9

Make friends with her besties.

She might like you more if her friends like you, too. Making an effort with a girl's friends will show her—and them—that you really care about her. And if her friends think the two of you would be a cute pair, they might even help sway her to give things a shot!^{[12]
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- If you see her out with her friends, for instance, speak to each of them—not just the girl you like. Remember things about them, and go out of your way to be friendly. Just don't flirt with them, or your crush might get the wrong idea.

10

Carry yourself with confidence.

People who are self-assured seem more attractive. Practice standing up straight, with your shoulders back and your chest out. This type of posture will project confidence when your crush is around—but try doing it when she isn't around, too, so it becomes second nature.^{[13]
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Expert Source

Alessandra Conti
Celebrity Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 23 April 2021.}^{[14]
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- This is a cool trick because you won't just look more confident—you might actually start to feel that way, too!

11

Put effort into your appearance.

Take care of yourself so you can look your best. While it's important to find someone who likes you for your personality, it doesn't hurt if you can look good, too. That doesn't mean you have to look like a movie star, though—just styling your hair and wearing clean, neat-fitting clothing can go a long way.^{[15]
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Alessandra Conti
Celebrity Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 23 April 2021.}^{[16]
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- In addition, try to eat a healthy diet, make time for physical activity, and get enough sleep every night so you'll feel and look healthy and strong.^{[17]
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  Alessandra Conti
  Celebrity Matchmaker & Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 23 April 2021.}^{[18]
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12

Get involved in interesting hobbies.

Spend your time doing things you really find fascinating. That way, when your crush asks what you did over the weekend, you'll have something cool to talk about. And when your life seems more interesting, she might just end up more interested in being a part of it.^{[19]
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- Don't spend time doing something you don't like just to impress a girl. But, if you find out she's really into the outdoorsy type and you've always wanted to take up hiking, this might be a good time to give it a shot.^{[20]
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- Pay attention to how your crush reacts when you talk about things you love—if she thinks it's boring or uncool, ask yourself if the two of you would really be that compatible in the long run.

13

Be kind to others.

Do nice things for no reason. Stand up for a kid who's getting bullied in the lunch room, or buy a sandwich for a guy sitting on the sidewalk. When you show kindness for people without expecting anything in return, it says a lot about your character. That can make you seem more attractive to your crush, but it will also just make you a better person overall—it's a win-win!^{[21]
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14

Spend time with your friends.

Having a crush doesn't mean you have to abandon your buddies. You might feel like you need to spend all your time hanging around your crush, but the opposite is actually true. Being part of a group of friends can make you seem more attractive.^{[22]
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- Try posting photos of you and your friends on social media, or hang out as a group somewhere that you think your crush will be.
- If you're friends with other girls, spend time with them, too—a little competition might just make your crush more interested in you.^{[23]
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15

Back off if she just isn't interested.

Respect her space. It's really important to know when you're making someone uncomfortable. No matter how much you like her, leave your crush alone if she asks you to. Other signs that she isn't enjoying your attention might include:^{[24]
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- Frowning or rolling her eyes when you talk
- Not making eye contact with you
- Giving single-word answers when you ask her questions
- Focusing on her phone when you're around
- Pulling away when you're touching her
- Crossing her arms or turning away from you
- Talking about other guys or saying she has a boyfriend

16

Don't get too down if she doesn't like you.

Sometimes, people just aren't compatible. It doesn't mean there's nothing wrong with you—it just means that wasn't the right girl for you. Take good care of yourself and keep putting yourself out there. Sooner or later, you'll find someone who appreciates you for exactly who you are.^{[25]
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- Keep in mind that it's not her fault, either—she can't help that she's not into you, any more than you can help when you don't have feelings for someone. Don't treat her like she did anything wrong. If you can handle the situation respectfully and gracefully, you'll look really mature, and you'll feel better about the whole thing in the long run.