How to Attract a Boy

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: May 28, 2021 References

When attracting a boy, it's important that you display an air of confidence and allure. You want to open up to him, without appearing too available. Making him notice you is one thing, but once you start to interact, you can reveal your personality in a way that intrigues him, making him want to get to know you even better. If he still doesn't make a move to ask you on a date, there are ways to ask him out, without coming on too strong.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Making Him Notice You

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Primp yourself so that he is physically attracted to you. Make sure to wear something that will catch his eye without being unnecessarily flashy. Studies show that men are especially attracted to women who wear red, and he’s sure to notice you from across the room. ^{[1]
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- Wear your signature scent around him. He’ll think of you whenever he catches a whiff of it elsewhere.
- Show off your neck and shoulders, this represents femininity and vulnerability.^{[2]
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2
Be approachable. If you’re out, make sure you’re never surrounded by more than two friends at a time, or he may be too intimidated to talk to you. He could also assume that you’re not interested and that he would be interrupting if he tried to approach you.^{[3]
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- If you see that he’s noticing you, don’t be afraid to make eye contact. This will encourage him to approach you. A good rule of thumb is to hold his gaze for two seconds and be sure to smile.
- Be aware that your facial expressions appear soft, rather than harsh or severe, especially if you think he's watching.
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3
Be indifferent. This doesn’t mean be rude to him, but showing that your attention is focused elsewhere, may make him more intrigued. Men aren’t typically attracted to women they perceive as desperate, and this will prove that you’re anything but.^{[4]
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- Men love a challenge. The thought that you might be unimpressed by him will make him committed to wooing you.
- If you're talking in a group of people, be sure to direct comments at the others just as often, if not more, than you do towards him.
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Run into him on purpose. Make sure to return to the place where you first met him, whether it's in the hallway at school, a cafe, or work. Remember that humans are creatures of habit, so chances are that if you saw him at noon at a park, he frequents that spot regularly and you're likely to see him there again.^{[5]
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- Even if he doesn't notice you the first time, he's bound to realize that you keep running into each other.
5
Be natural and be yourself. Men can sense if a woman is comfortable in her own skin rather than pretending to be someone she's not. Show him, and others around you, who you are and be bold about it. Candidly talk about your interests, habits, and what you're working to improve upon.^{[6]
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- Men like imperfections, so you might as well embrace them too. Don't hide the fact that you bite your nails or are bad at math.
- This doesn't mean offering up too much information right away, it's still beneficial to maintain a touch of mystery and leave him wanting more.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Interacting With Him

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Be aware of your body language. Carry yourself confidently and with your head up. He will be drawn to your self-assured attitude. When you interact, have open body language. This means leaning forward, facing him and nodding and keeping eye contact when he talks.^{[7]
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John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} This shows that you’re listening and interested in what he has to say.^{[8]
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- Be sure to flash a smile periodically. This will show that you’re a happy positive person who is fun to be around.
- A study shows that if you mimic someone’s gestures, their interest in you will increase. Make this a subtle action; it should only register with him subconsciously.^{[9]
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- If his hands are resting on the table, try placing yours there as well.
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Create an atmosphere for romance if at all possible. Sunny, warm weather increases endorphins stimulating the body and making you happy.^{[10]
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Research source} Hanging out together on a summer day will mean he’s sure to enjoy his time with you.
- The darkness of movie theaters and restaurants can generate a romantic mood, as well.
3
Laugh, and look happy in general. If he notices you laughing at something that he or someone else has said, you will portray that you’re carefree and fun. He’ll especially be intrigued if it’s his jokes that you’re laughing at.^{[11]
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- This will make him feel confident and comfortable around you, meaning he’ll associate your presence with positive feelings.^{[12]
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- Men are especially attracted to the sing-song laugh of women, that sounds similar to a musical scale. So don't get carried away with the volume of your laugh.^{[13]
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Amp up the chemistry and be playful. Mischievously punch him in the arm or tousle his hair.^{[14]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Remember to never take yourself too seriously, especially if you don’t know him very well.
- Be able to laugh at and make fun of yourself without being too self-deprecating.
- Don’t be afraid to try new things because you might feel embarrassed. Show him your sense of adventure, even if it means making a fool of yourself.
- If he suggests going on a roller coaster, but you're afraid of heights, show him that you can overcome your fear and be spontaneous.
5
Teach him something. Men are attracted to women who display a passion and sense of motivation. He will assume that you are independent, which will make him more intrigued by you. He will also love that you’re multidimensional and want to get to know you more.
- If you are good at drawing, suggest signing up for an art class together or teach him yourself how to draw. He’ll love seeing you in your element.^{[15]
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Find an excuse to talk to him. Ask a question or for his opinion on something. If you're in school or working together, see if he'll help you with a project. He will feel masculine and competent that you turned to him for guidance.
- You'll also come across as confident, because you're able to ask for help when you need it.
- Make a comment about a current event or other topic that you both know about so the conversation is effortless. This is a good ice-breaker.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Asking Him Out

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Ask him to dance. Many guys find it refreshing when girls take charge. If you're out and notice him looking at you, but not making a move, take matters into your own hands. Be flirty and suggest you dance together. He'll admire your confidence and liveliness.^{[16]
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- Try telling him that this is your favorite song to dance to, he might get the hint after that.
2
Ask him out in a way that he won't realize it's a date. Include him in a daily activity. If you have to run errands or are staying in to watch a movie, casually ask if he wants to join.
- There will be no pressure whatsoever, and he might not even realize that you technically were the one who asked him out.
- Reach out to him at the last minute, rather than planning in advance. This will make it seem more spontaneous.
3
Include him in a group activity. If you'd like to see more of him, invite him to a party or dance that your friends are all attending. This won't come off as too aggressive, but you'll still get a chance to get to know each other better.^{[17]
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- If he is too shy to ask you out, a group activity might be more his style anyway. It keeps the pressure off him and you'll be able to spend time together in a relaxed setting.
- He'll have a chance to see you interacting with the people you are most comfortable with, so your personality is sure to shine.
4
Suggest attending an event that focuses on your shared interests. This will not only emphasize what you have in common, but give you a perfectly good reason to ask him out. You'll have plenty to talk about on the date, because the event itself centers around a passion point for each of you.^{[18]
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- If you've talked about a band that you both listen to, suggest buying tickets to go together when they come to town.
- If you know that he also enjoys horror films, see if he'd like to go see the new scary movie that's out this weekend.
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Find out what his interests are and suggest an outing related to them. He won't be able to refuse partaking in one of his favorite activities. Make sure you can at least carry a conversation about the particular topic. There's no need to pretend to be an expert, but he will be impressed that you are trying.
- Let him know that you have an extra ticket to the game this weekend if he'd like to go.
- Tell him you've been wanting to hit up the batting cages because you have a dreadful swing.^{[19]
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- He'll be able to let loose and be himself around you.