Clever Ways to Ask If She'll Be Yours This Valentine's Day

Make her swoon so you'll snag a date on V-day

Co-authored by Crista Beck and Madeleine Flamiano

Last Updated: March 30, 2023 References

If you like a girl, asking her to be your valentine is a great way to let her know how you feel. There are lots of creative and fun ways to ask her, or you can just be direct. No matter how you ask, make sure you have a good plan for the two of you to spend time together on Valentine’s Day.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Being Creative

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Send her a gift as a cutesy token of your affection. Feel free to get clever and punny. For example, buy her a pizza decorated with a heart formed out of pepperoni and scrawl, “I know it’s cheesy, but…will you be my valentine?” on the lid. Or, get her a small stuffed animal holding a sign with the same question. Whether you express yourself with food or a romantic memento, you’re sure to win her over.^{[1]
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- Up-level a bar of chocolate by putting a cute note on it, like a short and simple, "Will you be my valentine?"
- You can also put a label on a bucket of popcorn and write, "In my eyes, you're perfect! I'm not just buttering you up!" on it. Then, give it to her and ask if she'll catch a movie with you.
- Or, you can give her a s'mores kit that's packed in a mason jar and tie a little sign on it that says, "There's nothing I like s'more than you!"
2
Surprise her with a beautiful bouquet. When it comes to Valentine’s Day, you can never go wrong with flowers. They’re a fresh and spontaneous way to perk up her spirits, and they basically scream romance. To brighten her mood even more, deliver them when she’s at work or school—it’ll make her glow with pride and impress everyone around her.^{[2]
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- Try to remember what her favorite flowers are or get some hints from her friends. For instance, she may prefer tiger lilies or tulips. When in doubt, you can never go wrong with a lush bouquet of red roses.
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3
Whip up some baked goods just for her. After all, the way to a girl’s heart is through her stomach! Are you more of an amateur baker? Follow a recipe to the tee and start with a meaningful but basic treat, like a batch of brownies or cookies. Maybe you’re a cooking enthusiast? Make her something indulgent that requires more skill: put together macarons or bake an exquisite cake.^{[3]
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- To go the extra mile, make your baked goods with heart-shaped trays and choose colors like pink or red. Use a small piping bag to scrawl a short and sweet message on your mouth-watering treats, like "be mine," "xoxo," or "Happy V-day!"
4
Serve up some latte art to put a smile on her face. Use a coffee stencil to create a cute design, like a heart or a flower. Want to go above and beyond? Spend some dough on a customized stencil so you can spell out her name or give her a special message that proclaims your love and affection. Your special sentiment will taste so sweet!^{[4]
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5
Arrange a scavenger hunt to keep her on her toes. Hide objects around her school or at your place, then present her with a list to mull over. For example, tape a cute selfie to her locker, hide a corsage in your glove compartment, and wait at the cafeteria to hand her a big box of chocolates as her final prize. When she meets up with you, drop the age-old question: will she be your valentine?^{[5]
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- Here's an example clue to inspire you. Say you wanted to direct her to your school's track field. You might plant clue #1 in her locker, with this note: To "track" down the first clue, "race" over to the spot where we first met 1 year ago.
6
Spell out your feelings with chocolate kisses. For a tongue-in-cheek valentine message, find a spot you know she’ll be, like her front door step or her locker. Form a heart out of chocolate kisses right on the ground. Then, drop this note in the center of it: “Now that I have kissed the ground that you walk on, will you be my valentine?” She’ll get a real kick out of it!^{[6]
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Incorporate your creative talents into your proposal. Brainstorm ways to show off your special talents and skills when you ask her out. For example, if you’re a singer and part of the Glee Club, you can serenade her. In fact, you can get some of your other musically inclined friends to help out and make it a valentine she’ll always remember! Whatever you go with, she’ll adore what you came up with because you really put your heart into it.
- Here are some other scenarios to inspire you: if you’re an artist, you can draw a portrait of her; if you’re in a Fundamentals of Welding class, you can forge a pendant for her. In both of these cases, she’ll have a memento she can cherish forever.
8
Make a romantic V-day playlist she can jam out to. Think about the genres that she seems to like. Whether it’s pop, punk, or alternative rock, it’s important to treat her to some ear candy she actually enjoys! For an extra special touch, gradually dial up the romance—start with a song about having a crush, then end with one that hints you have serious feelings for her.^{[7]
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9
Record a video love letter to make her heart skip a beat. For a super bold way to ask a girl out and to request that she be your valentine, create a vid just for her: all you need is bravery, sincerity, and a smartphone! When you express all your feelings and intentions, you’re sure to make her melt.^{[8]
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- Send the clip via text or direct message. Check if she'd be okay with you sharing it on social media, too. She might be really touched if you share your feelings for her publicly.
- Here's another bonus—you can keep re-recording your message until you feel like it's perfect and ready for her to see.
- If you really want to go "all in," list all the reasons you like her and fell for her, then wrap it up by asking her to be your valentine.
10
Hand her a Valentine’s Day card. While this is pretty obvious, it's still a well-loved, classic approach. Want extra brownie points? Make it yourself to infuse it with some extra love and care! Get some nice cardstock, fold it in half, cut hearts out of red or pink construction paper, and glue them on. Use your best handwriting to tell her how she’d be the best valentine for you.^{[9]
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- Not feeling particularly crafty? No worries! Just be super discerning when you look through potential V-day cards at the supermarket or online. Definitely keep her personality and tastes in mind when to find the best one.
- For example, if she's more traditional and romantic, she might like a really feminine card with flowers on it. However, if she likes to goof off with you, she'd probably enjoy a jokey card that treats her to a punchline when she opens it up.
11
Woo her by proving you've been paying attention to what she likes. There’s no way you’ll be generic when you think about what makes her tick. When you ask her to be your valentine, take into account her hobbies, extracurriculars, and favorite colors, animals, foods, and places. For example, maybe she’s nuts for roller derby, adores polka dots, and loves the park. Arrange a picnic for her and gift her with a set of polka dot roller skates. Your niche valentine will knock her socks off!
- Another example: if she donates to charities and loves animals, get her a stuffed elephant from a non-profit that supports animal welfare. If you also know she loves hiking and the color orange, bake her cupcakes with orange icing and hit some trails with her.^{[10]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Asking Directly

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Gather some intel from her friends. Before you shoot your shot, make sure she’s actually single. Talk to a couple of her buddies, let them know that you’ve had your eye on her, and ask them if she’s available. Who knows—they might reveal that she’s been crushing on you and has been waiting for you to make your move.^{[11]
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- They may even give you some tips about how to woo her. For example, maybe she’s a little on the shy side or needs some time to warm up to someone, so she likes to text before going on a date.
2
Keep it simple. It’s only natural to think about all the things you should say or imagine a ton of scenarios. Don’t sweat it, though. Asking a girl to be your valentine should be fun and chill! Just tell her you’d love to spend Valentine’s Day with her. To sweeten the deal, compliment her. If you want to chat about how compatible you are, bring up what you have in common or enjoy doing together.^{[12]
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- Praise both her looks and her personality: "I've always found you really cute, and most importantly, you make me laugh. You're so witty and sharp!"
- Point out interests you both share: "It's been so fun being on the Debate Team with you. I can tell how passionate you are about making your case. I'm the exact same way!"
3
Practice what you’ll say to boost your confidence. It's super charming to go through the effort of approaching a girl and asking her to be your valentine, so major props to you. To make sure you totally dazzle her, rehearse your spiel ahead of time. Stand in front of a mirror and focus on being calm and direct. Use good posture, look forward, and keep your hands out of your pocket. All these small details really count and help build chemistry and attraction right away.^{[13]
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- Above all, remember to just be yourself. You can be upbeat or casual—it all boils down to what’s natural for you. She’ll dig your authenticity.
- Start off with a polite “hello”: “Hey! It’s good to see you.” Then, show interest in her day: “How’s it going?”
- Finally, smile and cut to the chase—tell her exactly why you approached her: “I’d love to get together on Valentine’s Day. I think we’d have a lot of fun.”

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Minding the Details

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Dress nicely on the day you ask her. While you don’t have to pull out all the stops, you should make an effort to impress her. Pick out a nice outfit and make sure you’re properly groomed. If you smell nice and look great, you’ll definitely capture her attention. Don’t worry about being super formal—just look put together to make the moment super special for her. If all else fails, wear something that makes you feel great. Confidence is attractive to everyone!^{[14]
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- Now, if you’d like to put on a signature scent and wear a killer outfit, like a designer shirt and new jeans, it might give you an extra edge.
2
Ask her in person, over the phone, or on social media. Your approach all depends on what makes you feel comfortable. If you like to connect in real time, talking in person can show her how sincere you are. However, if you’re a little more shy, it might be easier to text her or reach out on Facebook or Instagram. Trust your instincts: whatever feels right is the best move.^{[15]
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- Talk to her when she has time to consider being your valentine. For example, she’ll probably feel too rushed if you try to catch her during a passing period. Instead, reach out at lunch or when you know she’ll be home.
3
Be specific about what you want to do on Valentine’s Day. To build up her anticipation and give her a sense of what she’s in for, paint a picture of the plans you made. Bring up whether you want to take her out to lunch or dinner. If you had an activity in mind, like ice skating or going to the movies, let her know. Tell her it’s your treat and you’ll pay for everything since you’re asking her out.^{[16]
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- For example, you can say, “I’d love to take you out to dinner. Then, we can hit up that glow golf spot—I hear it’s a blast," or "Let's grab coffee and end with a trivia night: I'm dying to see which of us would win!"
- Also give her some input so you can give her the best experience: “I was thinking that we can spend the afternoon at the lake. The weather will be perfect for it. I can rent a boat for us, and I’ll bring a picnic basket. What’re your favorite picnic foods?”

Community Q&A

Question

How do I know if she likes me?

Community Answer

You can always ask her friends to ask her. Try to figure out if she has a best friend in particular, and ask them to ask her if she likes you. You could also just tell her yourself.
Question

What if my Valentine is far from me?

Community Answer

Text her/him or Facetime her/him and ask her/him that way. Or, if you want to out go yourself fly/drive to her/him and ask her in person.