How to Apologize for Texting Late at Night

Co-authored by John Keegan and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: February 2, 2022

Sending a late-night text can be risky: what if you wake the other person up, or they assume there’s an emergency? That’s why we’ve compiled some helpful tips about the etiquette of late night texting, as well as some example messages you can send if it’s after dark. And, if you receive a late night text, we’ll help you figure out what it means and how exactly you can respond.

Section 1 of 5:

Is it rude to text someone late at night?

Yes, most experts agree that late-night texting is kind of rude. Some people don’t turn their phone on silent before they go to sleep, so a late-night text could wake them up. If you know the person you’re texting is an early to bed, early to rise type of person, you might want to hold off on the late-night texting.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- Etiquette experts agree that sending a text between 7 AM and 9 PM is usually preferred. However, if they’re a close friend or you know they go to bed late, you can extend that a little bit.

Section 2 of 5:

Who can I text late at night?

1
You can text your close friends or your partner. If you know their nightly routines, feel free to send out a quick text to a friend or the person that you’re dating. You can tell them goodnight, ask them what they’re doing in the morning, or just tell them that you miss them. Since you two are close, they’ll know that they don’t have to respond if they’re already sleeping, and you probably won’t be offended.
2
You can probably text your family members if you’re close to them. Feel free to send them a late night text if you two are close. However, if you don’t see them often or you don’t have a great relationship, save all your texts until the morning when you know they’re awake.
- If you live far away from your family members, a late night text can be worrying. They might think you’re having an emergency or need help, so use caution.
3
You can text your boss or coworkers if it’s an emergency. It’s almost never a good idea to text work associates late at night unless it’s an emergency. When people go home, they’re off the clock, and they’re probably not expecting to answer work questions after hours. Save your texts for normal business hours unless it’s very urgent.^{[2]
X
Research source}

Section 3 of 5:

What does it mean when someone texts you late at night?

1
They might have forgotten that it’s too late to text someone. Night owls tend to stay up much later than other people, so the person texting you could have just forgotten that you’re probably not awake. If your friend who often stays up until 3 AM sends you a late-night text, don’t worry—they most likely just assume that you’re awake because they’re awake, too.
2
They may be looking to hook up. If someone you’re flirting with texts you late at night, it’s often a sign that they’re looking for a “booty call.” This is especially true if they send you something like, “You up?” or, “Wanna come over?” It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it can definitely tell you their intentions right away.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- If hooking up isn’t really your thing, feel free to ignore this message.
3
They might be dealing with an emergency. It’s not the most common reason why someone would send you a late text, but it does happen. If you get an urgent message in the middle of the night, you may want to respond, just to see what’s up. Hopefully, nothing bad is going on, but it’s still a good idea to double check.

Section 4 of 5:

Example Apology Texts

1
“Sorry to disturb you at this hour.” This is a good message to send if you don’t know the person very well. If you absolutely have to text someone and you’re worried you might wake them up, you can start your message with this. Then, they’ll know that you didn’t mean to wake them up or disturb them with your text.
- You could also say, “Sorry for the late night message,” or, “Apologies for the late hour.”
2
"Really sorry to text you so late." Short and simple, this apology shows that you’re aware of the late hour. If your message just can’t wait, let your recipient know that you understand how late it is (and you’re not too happy about it either).
- You might also say something like, “I know it’s late, sorry about that.”
3
"I hope this message doesn’t wake you up." If you know they’re already asleep, try something like this. Some people keep their text tones on all night, so your message might rouse them out of a slumber. Let them know that you’re sorry and you hope they can sleep through your message with something like this.
- You might also try, “If you’re already asleep, no need to respond.”
4
"Not an emergency, just wanted to let you know…." Some people assume the worst when someone contacts them late at night. Let your recipient know that everything is okay, and that your text is nothing to worry about. That way, if they do wake up and check their phone, they’ll know that they don’t necessarily have to respond right away.
- You could also say, “Feel free to respond in the morning,” or, “If you’re already in bed, no worries. Just wanted to tell you that…”

Section 5 of 5:

Responses to a Late Night Text

1
"Hey, it’s pretty late." Let your late-night texter know that you don’t really appreciate them texting you at this hour. You don’t have to be too mean about it, but just let them know that you were already sleeping or just dozing off.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- You could also try something like, “Hey, your text just woke me up. What’s going on?” or, “Shouldn’t you be in bed by now?”
2
"Is this an emergency?" Asking right away will let you know whether or not you need to be worried. If you aren’t sure whether you need to respond or not (maybe the message was a little too vague), text back asking for clarification. If it’s not an emergency, feel free to head back to dreamland.
- You might also say something like, “If this isn’t urgent, I’ll go ahead and respond in the morning.”
3
"Sorry, I just saw this." Use this one if you’re going to ignore the message until the morning. Even if you open up the text while you’re in bed, the other person doesn’t have to know that. Save your response until the morning, and let the other person know that you were asleep. That way, they’ll get the message that they probably shouldn’t text you so late at night.
- You could also say something like, “Hey, I was already asleep when you sent that.”