How to Treat Others With Respect

Co-authored by Tami Claytor

Last Updated: December 23, 2022 References

It is important to treat other people with respect at school, at work, and in your personal life. However, respecting other people is not always easy, especially when those people have opinions and beliefs that are different from yours. But you can learn how to treat other people with respect and practice what you have learned in your daily life.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Showing Respect in Specific Scenarios

1
Show respect to your teacher in a classroom. Teachers work hard to ensure that you have a pleasant and valuable learning experience, so it is important to show them respect. It might be hard to show respect to a teacher with whom don’t always see eye-to-eye, but you can do so by using some simple courteous behaviors.
- Address your teacher by his or her name. For example, if your teacher goes by Mrs. Smith, then address her this way. Never use her first name or just call her “Smith” or “teacher.”
- Listen when your teacher is talking. Make sure that you are facing your teacher and making eye contact with her. You can also nod your head now and then to show that you understand what she is saying. Don’t look away or try to occupy yourself with something else when your teacher is talking. It is important that you hear what she is saying so that you will know what you are supposed to do.
- Raise your hand to ask questions. It is okay if you do not understand something, but you should always make sure that you raise your hand before you ask a question. Raise your hand and wait patiently until your teacher calls on you to ask your question.
- Stay on task. If your teacher has asked everyone in your class (or you in particular) to work on something, then make sure that you are doing what she asked. Choosing to do something else when you teacher has given you specific instructions is disrespectful.
- Be polite. As in most situations, remembering your manners around your teacher is a good way to show respect, such as by saying “please” and “thank you.”
2
Show respect to your parents. Your parents provide food, clothing, and a place for you to live, so it is important to respect them for everything they do for you. Although it is normal for kids and parents to butt heads sometimes, you can show respect for your parents by doing some simple things.^{[1]
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- Do your chores. You probably have some household tasks that your parents expect you to do on a regular basis. Doing these chores without being asked first is a good way to show respect to your parents. For example, if it is your job to set the table before dinner, then make sure that you do so each night before your mom or dad asks you to.
- Listen. Your parents may feel disrespected if you do not pay attention to them when they are talking, so it is important to be a good listener. Make sure that you look your parents in the eye when they are talking and nod your head to show that you hear and understand.
- Use polite language. Say “please” and “thank you” to your parents to show respect. Never swear, make demands, or give your parents the silent treatment. If you are frustrated about something, then use an “I” statement to express how you feel. For example, you might say, “I feel angry because I can’t go to the mall with my friends this weekend.”
- Follow the rules. Respecting your parents also means respecting their rules. You can show respect for your parents’ rules by following them. For example, if your parents have a rule that you cannot watch TV until your homework is done, then do your homework before you turn on the TV.
- Remember special holidays. Your parents have birthdays just like you do and they will appreciate it if you remember their birthdays. It is also important to remember to do something for your parents on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Even giving your parents handmade cards on these special occasions will show that you thought of them and that you respect them.
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3
Be respectful of your friends. Even though your friends are your peers and do not have any authority over you, it is still important to respect them. You can respect your friends by remembering to do certain things when you interact with them.
- Allow your friends to have their own opinions and beliefs. Part of respecting people is respecting their right to maintain their own opinions and beliefs and not imposing your opinions and beliefs on them. If you disagree with your friends about something, that is okay. For example, if you have a friend who is a big fan of a band that you think is dumb, it would be disrespectful for you to tease your friend for this. Instead, just recognize that you and your friend have lots in common, but this is something you don’t see eye-to-eye on.
- Don’t gossip about your friends. You can also disrespect your friends if you speak ill of them when you are not with them. That is why it is important to avoid gossiping about your friends when they are not around. If someone starts gossiping about a friend, don’t engage in it. You can simply walk away, or say something like, “I don’t think we should be having this conversation. It seems disrespectful.”
- Ask your friends before you make plans. Making plans without your friends’ knowledge may also cause them to think you are disrespectful. Always ask your friends for input on what they would like to do before you make plans. For example, if you want to go to see a new movie, then call up your friend and say something like, “Hey, I really want to see this movie. Would you be into that?”
4
Show respect to your elders. Even if an adult is not your parent or teacher, it is important to show respect. People who are older than you may see you as disrespectful if you behave in certain ways. But by making sure to avoid certain behaviors and include other behaviors, you can ensure that you are being respectful of your elders.
- Don’t break rules. Observe the rules wherever you go. For example, if you are at a public pool and there is a sign that says “No running,” then don’t run.
- Avoid cursing or other rude language. Don’t swear at people or insult them if they upset you. Instead, express how you are feeling. You might say something like, “I am really frustrated right now because I think this rule is unfair.”
- Say “please” and “thank you.” Always use “please” and “thank you” to show that you are polite and that you appreciate the ways that people help you.
- Make eye contact. If an adult is speaking to you, then don’t look away or look down. Look him or her in the eye to show you are paying attention.
- Be helpful.^{[2]
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  Research source} For example, if your friend’s mom has invited you to stay for dinner, then you might offer to help by setting the table or doing something else that would help her out.
5
Demonstrate respect to people who are younger than you. Younger kids can be frustrating to be around sometimes, but they are people too and they deserve your respect. You can respect younger people by doing certain things.
- Allow them to be silly. Young people might sometimes get on your nerves because they have a different sense of humor than you do, but you should not get upset with them for that. Just remind yourself that you were probably pretty silly at that age too. If you are annoyed, then go into another room for a while.
- Don’t shame them for not knowing the things that you do. People learn as they grow, so the younger you are, the less you know. Don’t make fun of young kids for not knowing the things that you do. Instead, try explaining things in ways they can understand. For example, if your little sister is confused about how to add and subtract, then you could show her by using grapes or orange slices. Show her how taking four grapes away from a pile of 10 grapes leaves only six grapes.
- Help them when they need help. Young kids cannot do the same things that you can do. They are smaller and they have less control over their muscles. If you notice a young child struggling with something, don’t poke fun at him or her, help the child out. For example, if your little brother is trying to reach something on a high shelf, offer to get it down for him.
- Encourage them.^{[3]
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  Research source} Saying something nice is a good way to respect anyone, but young kids may need it even more sometimes. For example, if your little sister gets an A on her math test, give her a high five and tell her you are proud of her.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Learning Respectful Behaviors

1
Think about how you would like others to treat you. If you want to be respectful of others, take some time to consider what that means to you. How would you like people to talk to you? What would you consider an appropriate response if someone disagreed with you?
- Take some time to identify the types of behaviors that you consider respectful. You could even make a list of behaviors that you consider respectful.
- For example, you might include in your list of respectful behaviors, addressing people by their preferred names, not raising your voice in anger, and being willing to listen when people share an opinion that differs from your own opinion.
2
Model your behavior after someone who is respectful. You probably know someone who is respectful in his or her interactions with other people. To learn how to be respectful of other people, pay attention to how this person interacts with others. Consider how he or she handles difficult people and situations.
- For example, someone who is respectful of others does not yell, resort to name-calling, or use passive-aggressive language. Instead, she may always use an even, yet firm speaking voice, address people by their preferred name, and use assertive statements to express herself.
- Consider modeling your behavior after a teacher, parent, or older sibling who behaves respectfully.
3
Try to put yourself into other people’s shoes. It can be hard to be respectful of other people’s views if you cannot relate to them. That is why it is important to put yourself into someone else’s shoes now and then. The next time you are trying to be respectful of someone you disagree with, try imagining how the person must be feeling.^{[4]
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- For example, if you are upset with a friend because he has said he is against gay marriage, take a moment to consider why he might have this belief. Is it possible that he was raised in a conservative environment where being gay is discouraged? If so, then this might help you to be respectful of him even though you disagree with his beliefs.
- Or, if you are upset because your parents won’t let you stay out past your usual curfew to attend a concert, then you might benefit from considering their perspective. You might conclude that your parents love you and want to protect you from potentially dangerous situations. Although you might still disagree with their decision, understanding their perspective should help you to be respectful if their decision.
4
Listen to other people’s ideas and perspectives. Listening to people and giving them your full attention is an important part of being respectful.^{[5]
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Research source} Try to practice active listening when someone is talking to you. Some things you can do to be an active listener include:
- Allowing a breath and pause after the other person finishes speaking before you respond.^{[6]
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- Making eye contact and facing the person who is speaking.
- Making neutral statements to demonstrate that you are listening, such as “Yes,” “Go on,” and “I see.”
5
Collaborate with others. Collaborating with other people who may not share your perspective is another way to learn how to respect people.^{[7]
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Research source} Whenever you have to do a group project or team up with someone, look at it as an opportunity to develop your ability to respect others.
- For example, you may not agree with a classmate about how to approach a presentation, but be willing to listen to her perspective before you provide your perspective.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Practicing What You Have Learned

1
Treat others how you want to be treated. When you have identified the types of behaviors that you see as respectful, then you can start to put those beliefs into practice. By treating people the way that you would like to be treated, you will also be showing them how you want them to treat you.
- For example, if you are always interrupting a friend when she talks, then she may do the same when you talk. However, if you always listen until your friend has finished speaking, then you will be teaching your friend to do the same when you are speaking. It also makes you a better friend and they will realize that.
2
Allow yourself to feel angry sometimes, just don't go as far as injuring another. Keep in mind that it is normal to get angry sometimes, but this does not make you a disrespectful person. If you feel angry about something someone says or does, then it is okay to acknowledge that feeling. Just make sure that you do not allow the anger to control you and cause you to say or do something that is disrespectful.^{[8]
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- For example, if someone calls you a hurtful name, then it is normal to feel angry. However, you do not need to retaliate by calling the other person a name. Instead, you might respond by saying something like, “It makes me angry when you call me that name. Please don’t do that again.”
3
Be assertive, not passive aggressive. Being passive-aggressive is a disrespectful form of communication, so it is best to avoid. Instead, try to be assertive when you voice your opinions.^{[9]
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- For example, if a friend voices an opinion on politics that you disagree with, don’t say “Too bad some people are so ignorant about politics.” Instead, say something like, “I respectfully disagree, and here’s why…” Or just start a new topic.
4
Walk away from situations where you feel incapable of being respectful. Sometimes the topic of discussion may be too personal for you to react in a respectful way. Other times, the person you are dealing with may not be capable of having a respectful conversation. When you end up in a situation where you feel like you are losing your ability to be respectful, then you should just walk away. That's right. Walk. Away.^{[10]
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- You have the right to just get up and walk away, but if you are worried about seeming rude, then you can always excuse yourself by saying something like, “Sorry, but I have to go. Have a nice day.”
5
Apologize when you make mistakes. Don't make yourself seem like a bad person. You'll be surprised at what happens when you apologize. Part of being respectful is also knowing when you have crossed a line and said something that you should not have said. If this happens, then you will need to apologize. Sometimes, even if you feel like you didn't start the argument, apologize.
- Try saying something like, “I am sorry for what I said earlier. You have the right to your opinion and I should not have ridiculed you for what you believe.”

Expert Q&A

Question

How can you show respect for older people?

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.

Tami Claytor

Etiquette Coach

Expert Answer

Be patient. For example, if an elderly person is in line at the grocery store and it's taking them a little while to put their change in their change purse, don't get agitated or frustrated. You should also offer to help out the elderly when you can, like opening doors for them.