How to Tell if a Guy You're Dating Likes You

Co-authored by Shana Tibi and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: May 26, 2022 References

When you’re dating someone new, it can feel like completing a puzzle: do they like me? Do they not? Fortunately, by paying attention to your date’s actions (not just his words), you can feel out whether he actually likes you or if he’s just caught up in the moment. Read through some of the signs that the guy you’re dating likes you to learn more about your relationship and where it’s headed.

1

He texts you first.

This shows that he’s putting in the effort to reach out.^{[1]
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Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.} If you get busy and don’t text him for a few days, he’ll probably reach out to see how you’re doing. This is a great sign, because it means that he’s noticed your lack of communication and he’s making an effort to talk to you first.
- If you find that you’re always the one to text or call him first, this could be a red flag. More often than not, it indicates that he’s not as into you as you are into him.

2

He texts you long paragraphs.

Long texts show that he likes chatting with you. If a guy likes you, you’ll rarely ever get one-word answers from him. Expect to see long paragraphs of text with multiple questions and fun comments throughout if the guy you’re dating likes you.^{[2]
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- Dry texting, or only replying with single word answers, might be a sign that he’s not super into you.^{[3]
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  Shana Tibi
  Certified Professional Matchmaker
  Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.} However, some people are just bad texters—if everything else is going great, this might not be a red flag.

3

He keeps your conversations going.

This most likely means that he really enjoys talking with you. Whether you two are texting or talking, if a guy likes you, he won’t let the conversation die easily.^{[4]
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Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.} He’ll probably keep coming up with questions or conversation starters so you two have an excuse to keep chatting.
- He might even stay up late to talk to you when he has to wake up early, or take extra breaks at work just to check in with you.

4

He asks you personal questions.

He’s probably trying to get to know you and strengthen your connection. When you two chat, he moves the conversation beyond the surface level. He probably wants to know about your past, what you like to do for fun, and what your goals are. This interest is a great indicator that he likes you, because it shows that he wants to know you on a deeper level.^{[5]
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Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.}
- He might ask questions like, “How’s your relationship with your parents?” “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” or, “What’s your favorite relaxing activity?”

5

He gives you compliments.

This means that he’s probably enamoured with you. You might hear all about how good you look, how funny you are, or how fun you are to be around. When a guy likes you, he often can’t stop himself from giving out compliments. Take these at face-value, and try to compliment him back so he knows you like him, too.^{[6]
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- He’ll probably tell you things like, “You have such a good sense of humor. You always know how to make me laugh!” “I never get tired of talking to you,” or, “You always look so beautiful / handsome.”

6

He touches you on the arm or the hand.

Breaking the touch barrier is a great way to gauge how much someone likes you. When you two are together, try to notice how often he brushes your arm or pats you on the hand. The more he touches you, the more it probably means that he likes you.^{[7]
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- On the flip side, if you brush his hand or pat his arm and he pulls away, it could mean that he’s not that interested. People are generally very open to physical touch with people they like, but not so open to it if it’s someone they don’t like.

7

He leans in toward you.

Inward leaning indicates that he wants to be closer to you.^{[8]
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Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.} Pay attention to how close he moves toward you when you two are together. If he stands or sits a little closer than a normal friend would, it’s a good sign that he’s into you.^{[9]
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- If he’s leaning back or flinches away from you when you get closer, he might not be interested.

8

He pays attention to you in a crowd.

He won’t ditch you at a party or leave you alone at an event. If you two are out with a group of friends, he’ll find a way to gravitate toward you and chat with you. This means that he likes being around you and he enjoys your company, even when there are lots of other people around.

9

He adds you on social media.

This means that he wants you to be involved in his life. If the guy you’re dating follows you on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook, it probably means that he likes you. He’s opening up to you in all areas of his life, including his online ones, so that you two can get to know each other even more.^{[10]
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- Plus, social media is a great way to stay in contact.

10

He plans dates.

If he sets up your next date, you can bet that he’s eager to see you. If someone isn’t that into you, they might take a while to set up your next hang time. But, if he really likes you, he won’t want to go more than a few days without seeing you. If your guy is planning dates and putting a lot of effort into them, there’s a good chance that he really likes you.^{[11]
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- Try to take turns planning dates so that he knows you’re into him, too!

11

He talks about plans for the future.

This shows that he wants to keep you in his life long-term. If he’s making plans for future vacations or things he wants to do in the future, he’ll probably ask your opinion or see if you can be involved. This is a great sign—not only does it mean that he likes you, but it shows that he wants to be serious with you in the future.
- For instance, he might say, “Let’s go to Hawaii next summer! How many vacation days can you take?” or, “I really want to visit Europe again. Where do you want to go?”

12

He introduces you to his friends.

He might even tell them that you’re his GF/BF. If the guy you’re seeing can’t wait to bring you to boy’s night or over to his friend’s house, that’s a great sign! It means that he wants to involve you in his life, and he wants his friends to like you, too.^{[12]
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- This can feel nerve-wracking, but try not to be nervous! Focus on being yourself around his friends, and they’re sure to like you a lot.

13

He tells his family about you.

He might mention that his parents or siblings want to meet you. When a guy tells their family about your relationship, it means that he’s thinking toward the future. Not only does he like you, he sees you as a serious partner, and he might be asking you to be exclusive fairly soon.
- He might say something like, “My mom really wants to meet you. Want to come over for dinner soon?” or, “I was chatting with my sister about you, and I think you two would really get along.”

14

He wants to be exclusive.

When a guy likes you, he won’t want to be with anyone else. After you’ve been dating for a little while, you’ll probably have the “What are we?” talk. If he brings it up first and asks you to be exclusive, congrats! It means that he really likes you, and he wants to be more serious with you.^{[13]
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- If that talk hasn’t happened yet, don’t worry—some people like to take it slow. If you’re ever confused about your relationship status or how you two stand, feel free to bring it up yourself.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you respond to someone expressing their feelings?

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Shana Tibi is a Certified Professional Matchmaker, Date and Relationship Coach, and the Founder of Curated Connections, a matchmaking service for single professionals. Shana specializes in understanding core values and personal preferences to curate dates. She holds a BA in Peace Studies and Conflict Resolution from Prescott College and an MSW in Social Work from California State University, Hayward. She is an active member of the Global Love Institute where she earned her matchmaking certifications.

Shana Tibi

Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Answer

If it's mutual, go for it! Try to learn a bit more about why that person likes you, what are their interests, what are the core values that you two share that are creating this connection and explore that. If it's not mutual, just be honest!