How to Survive High School (Girls)

Co-authored by Ashley Pritchard, MA and Jessica Gibson

Last Updated: December 4, 2021 References

Feeling anxious about high school is totally normal! Most girls wonder how they'll make friends and balance homework with all the new chances to socialize and learn. Instead of focusing on the challenges, think of all the opportunities you'll have during the next few years. It's definitely a lot to process so check out our list of suggestions. These can help you get excited and in the right frame of mind.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Academics

1
Familiarize yourself with your schedule and the school. Nothing's worse than racing around the hallways trying to find your class before the bell rings. To start high school with a calm, cool attitude, locate your class schedule so you know exactly which classes to go to and when. Your school may give you a map or might let you find your classrooms as part of orientation.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Ashley Pritchard, MA
School Counselor
Expert Interview. 4 November 2019.}
- It also helps to figure out where the classrooms are in relation to your locker so you can drop things off during the day.
- Don't stress about the syllabus or course expectations before you get there. The first few days of school will just be about going over guidelines and assignments, so there's no point in worrying.
2
Make a point of getting to class on time and focusing. Sure, you can be in class, but if you're zoning out, passing notes to a friend, or doing work for another class, you're not really there. Get to class before the tardy bell rings and pay attention. Then, try to take notes so you've got your own study aid for later.^{[2]
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- We've all had days where sickness or a family emergency kept us out of school. Don't beat yourself up if you miss a few days, but do get notes from a friend so you don't lose out on the material.
- Don't skip class! You can get in serious trouble for leaving your school and you'll miss out on class, which can make it hard to catch up.
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3
Find study methods that you can stick with. Choose a place where it's easy for you to focus and give yourself dedicated time to do homework or study. This way you're not cramming to finish assignments before class starts or studying the morning of a test.^{[3]
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- Play around with unique ways to study—put your notes to a song and sing it until you've memorized them, teach the subject to your little sister, or ask someone to test you on what you should have learned.
- To make schoolwork fun, find a study buddy. Ask a friend but make it clear that you're not just hanging out—you've got to read, work on assignments, or quiz each other over the material.
4
Turn in your work on time. It's easy to fall behind in class if you miss a few assignments, so get organized! Instead of procrastinating, complete all the assignments for your class and do this for each course you're taking. This is one of the best habits to develop so you can keep your grades up.^{[4]
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- Try to get your schoolwork out of the way before you go out and socialize. This way you won't put it off or forget.
5
Explore classes or things you're interested in. Even if you're not planning on attending college, pursue things you want to learn more about. Who knows? Maybe a great class will spark a future career. Take a variety of classes to learn what you're really passionate about.^{[5]
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- For instance, you might take biology, journalism, and woodshop as electives. Then, if you find you really like one of them, take advanced level classes in that course.
6
Use a variety of time management strategies. If you're like most high school girls, you'll probably be really busy really fast! Between sports, clubs, friends, and a job, you might find that time management is a huge struggle. To make it all work, use a planner or organizer to schedule projects, jobs, and events. You could use to-do list apps or schedule study time with a partner. Be really detailed so you give yourself time to complete homework.^{[6]
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- For example, instead of just writing "Project due" in your planner, divide the assignment up into several stages and schedule these. You might write "Outline project," "Research project," "Rough draft," and "Edit project," before the due date.
7
Ask for help if you need it. High school courses can be challenging, especially if you're taking classes outside of your comfort zone. Keep this in mind and reach out to a teacher, tutor, or counselor if you don't understand something or you just need someone to talk to. They want you to succeed and will do everything they can to help you out!^{[7]
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Expert Source

Ashley Pritchard, MA
School Counselor
Expert Interview. 4 November 2019.}
- For instance, you could go to your teacher and say, "I really don't get yesterday's assignment. I'm worried it's going to be on a test and I have no idea how to do it. Could you explain it again?" or you might go to a counselor and say, "I'm really struggling to make friends. I just want to give up. What should I do?"
- Your counselors and teachers are also great resources for filling out letters of recommendation for scholarships.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Social Life

1
Join a variety of clubs, sports, or groups to feel involved and confident. The great thing about high school is how many activities you can do. Join a bunch and see which ones you love—they'll help you find a sense of belonging, make you feel supported, and give you something to look forward to.^{[8]
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- Most schools offer tryouts for sports teams, band or orchestra, speech and debate, ambassadors, foreign language clubs, and scholars bowl, to name a few.
- It's totally fine to quit clubs or activities that you aren't really into. This frees up valuable time for activities you like better. That said, you should quit early on rather than later to avoid putting strain on your teammates.
2
Make new friends while still keeping your old ones. If you're starting a new school where you don't know many people, it's super important to start making friends. You should definitely keep up your relationship with old friends, but having a mix can really make you feel supported during high school. To make friends, be positive and kind to everyone you interact with. Joining clubs and being outgoing in class can also help, too!^{[9]
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- Are you shy? You're probably not alone. Look for someone in the class or cafeteria who's sitting by themselves. Go over and introduce yourself before taking a seat next to them. Who knows? You might be sitting next to a new best friend.
3
Date if you feel comfortable starting a relationship. There's often a lot of pressure to get a boyfriend or girlfriend in high school, but it's important to put your schoolwork first. If you're interested in dating someone, keep your options open and keep your grades up. Remember, dating should be fun and enjoyable.^{[10]
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- Set boundaries with your boyfriend or girlfriend so you're both happy and comfortable in the relationship. Avoid pressuring your partner or allowing yourself to feel pressured into doing something that doesn't feel right to you. For instance, if things are getting serious, but your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't want to take it to the next level physically, don't push the issue.
4
Keep your social circles open and diverse. You'll meet a ton of unique people and you can share interesting ideas if you don't surround yourself with teens who are just like you. Steer clear of cliques that try to control how their members look, think, dress, or act. High school is a time to learn about who you are, not to have someone control you!^{[11]
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- Not part of the popular clique? Don't let it concern you. Instead, find a close group of friends who value you for you who are.
- High school's too short to surround yourself with toxic friends, so break up with any friends who pressure you into doing things you don't want to do or people who don't respect and value you.
5
Reduce the drama in your life. High school can be challenging enough without unnecessary tears. Focus your energy on school, sports, and your extracurriculars instead of spreading rumors, gossiping about classmates, or getting caught up in the drama of relationships. This might mean that you spend less time around friends who thrive on drama.^{[12]
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- Sometimes it can be really hard to avoid drama—your bestie might ask you to talk to girls who are giving her the cold shoulder or maybe a girl is spreading rumors about you. Try not to get emotionally involved. You'll feel a lot less stress and will have more energy for things that really matter.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Self-care

1
Wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Choose clothes that make you feel confident and comfortable. You might feel pressure to look a certain way, but as long as you love the way you look, that's the most important thing. You might love wearing a cute dress with heels, or you might rock jeans and a vintage T, for instance.^{[13]
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- Read up on your school's dress code—they may require a uniform or prohibit you from wearing certain clothes.
- Makeup is totally a personal choice. Some girls might wear it every day while others sport a minimal or natural look—there's no right or wrong as long as you feel comfortable in your own skin.
2
Adopt a healthy diet and get regular exercise. Try to get about 1 hour of physical activity every day and eat a nutritious diet that's full of fruits, vegetables, lean protein, and whole grains. Looking after yourself can keep you healthier and well-adjusted so can handle the stress of high school.^{[14]
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- You'll also feel better and be less likely to fall asleep in class if you're getting enough sleep every night. Aim for 8 to 10 hours so you feel your best the next day!
3
Practice stress-management techniques. There will be times when you feel stressed out. You might have a major exam or a heavy schedule at your job. The key to survival is learning coping strategies that work for you. Some teens feel calmer and more in control if they keep a journal, do yoga or physical exercise, practice deep breathing, or talk to someone.^{[15]
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- If you can, take steps to eliminate the cause of the stress. For instance, if you're feeling overwhelmed and short on time, you might want to change your schedule so you're not committing to too many things. Focus on the activities you really enjoy instead of trying to do everything.
4
Set achievable goals. Think about what you really want to get out of high school—maybe you want to go to college someday or start the path to a career you love. Identify a large goal and make small, actionable steps that get you closer to reaching the goal.^{[16]
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- For example, if you want to open your own hairstyling studio after high school, you could set goals like "get a part-time job in a hair studio," "take classes at the beauty school," and "enroll in small business class at community college."
5
Tell someone if you're getting bullied. Unfortunately, you might encounter people who pick on you for who you are. They may spread rumors, purposely exclude you from the group, or make mean comments. While you might feel helpless, there are things you can do! Talk to a trusted teacher, counselor, coach, or parent. You can also try to talk to the bully and tell them how their actions affect you.^{[17]
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- For instance, you could say, "You know, that’s not really funny. Please stop.” If you think they're just trying to get a reaction, don't give it to them! Ignore the bully and walk away.
- Don't let bullying affect your confidence and sense of self-worth. Bullies are often insecure and struggle with social skills.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I get a great GPA in high school?

Ashley Pritchard, MA
School Counselor
Ashley Pritchard is an Academic and School Counselor at Delaware Valley Regional High School in Frenchtown, New Jersey. Ashley has over 3 years of high school, college, and career counseling experience. She has an MA in School Counseling with a specialization in Mental Health from Caldwell University and is certified as an Independent Education Consultant through the University of California, Irvine.

Ashley Pritchard, MA

School Counselor

Expert Answer

Do your best to stay organized. Spend 20 minutes a night studying each subject instead of cramming for 3 hours, as chunking information helps you remember the material better. Also, make sure you're doing your homework, studying for exams, and asking for help when you need it.
Question

How can I make a great impression on my teachers?

Ashley Pritchard, MA
School Counselor
Ashley Pritchard is an Academic and School Counselor at Delaware Valley Regional High School in Frenchtown, New Jersey. Ashley has over 3 years of high school, college, and career counseling experience. She has an MA in School Counseling with a specialization in Mental Health from Caldwell University and is certified as an Independent Education Consultant through the University of California, Irvine.

Ashley Pritchard, MA

School Counselor

Expert Answer

Paying attention, making eye contact, being organized, asking good questions, and being involved in discussions show that you're actually engaged with what the teacher is saying.