This article was co-authored by Alicia Oglesby. Alicia Oglesby is a Professional School Counselor and the Director of School and College Counseling at Bishop McNamara High School outside of Washington DC. With over ten years of experience in counseling, Alicia specializes in academic advising, social-emotional skills, and career counseling. Alicia holds a BS in Psychology from Howard University and a Master’s in Clinical Counseling and Applied Psychology from Chestnut Hill College. She also studied Race and Mental Health at Virginia Tech. Alicia holds Professional School Counseling Certifications in both Washington DC and Pennsylvania. She has created a college counseling program in its entirety and developed five programs focused on application workshops, parent information workshops, essay writing collaborative, peer-reviewed application activities, and financial aid literacy events.
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The thought of being in high school for 4 years can be kind of intimidating, but don’t worry! We’ve put together a high-school survival guide that will help you have the best high school experience possible. Below you’ll find tips for getting good grades, making friends, and navigating the world of high school dating, all while staying healthy and keeping your sanity.
Steps
How to Stay Happy and Healthy
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1Let yourself be who you really are. During high school, you’ll feel pressured to change your identity in order to fit in. Do your best to fight these feelings and give yourself permission to be who you want to be. High school gives you an opportunity to find yourself and grow as a person, but it’s important that those changes come from within.
- Create a timeline that lists all the major things you want to accomplish during your life. When you’re being pressured to change, think about whether that change will help you meet your goals.
- If you’re dealing with a lot of pressure, find a quiet place where you can clear your mind and look at the situation with a critical eye.
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2Stay positive when times get tough. Having a good attitude will help you keep your spirits up even when it feels like life is falling apart around you. Remember: high school does not last forever, so try to stay calm and relaxed even during stressful periods.[1]Advertisement
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3Find a style that suits you. Clothes play a major role in high school life, so try to find a style of dress that makes you feel happy. This can be whatever trendy clothes your friends are wearing, or it can be something entirely original. Feel free to experiment until you find something that feels just right.[2]
- If you have to wear a school uniform, try to give it your own flair by adding small and subtle accessories. If you're able to, modify the uniform or find loopholes in the dress code.
- Don't wear revealing or inappropriate clothes that violate your school's dress code, this could get you into trouble, which isn't a good way to spend your high school years.
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4Take time out of each day to exercise. If you’re not enrolled in a gym class or involved in a sport, try to exercise every day for about 60 minutes. Though you may feel like your schedule is too jam-packed to pay attention to your body, remember that staying fit will make you feel happier while improving your appearance and school performance.[3]
- Instead of doing traditional exercises like push-ups, try going on walks with friends or participating in physical games and sports, it keeps your mind clear and also gives you a break from the time spent at school doing work.
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5Get 9 to 10 hours of sleep each night. Aside from an occasional late-nighter to finish a project or study for a test, do your best to get around 9 to 10 hours of sleep each night. Though it may feel like you’re wasting time, staying rested will make you far more alert during the day, helping you stay happy and active.[4]
- To help yourself get enough sleep, go to bed and get up at about the same time each day.
- Try to get your homework done early so you have enough time to sleep. If you have too much work to complete before bed, ask your teachers if you can get an extension.
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6Talk to your school counselor if you’re dealing with mental health issues. If you’re experiencing any emotions that you don’t know how to deal with, make an appointment with your school’s mental health counselor or a private therapist. These paid professionals can help you better understand how you’re feeling and will teach you a variety of techniques to help you cope with your emotions. High school can be a tough few years, so make sure you are open with your feelings if you feel many intense emotions. Some issues many high schoolers suffer from include:[5]
- Anxiety, which can make you feel constantly worried and stressed out.
- Depression, which can make you feel incredibly sad or disinterested in life.
- Low self esteem, which can make you feel like you’re worthless or not good enough.
- Eating disorders like Anorexia and Bulimia, which can make you physically weak and alter your body in extremely unhealthy ways.
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7Take time out to enjoy personal activities. Being a good student is important, but so is your mental well-being. Even if you’re swamped with school work and extra-curricular classes, take some time each week to do things you love such as watching movies, playing video games, or going to nature parks.
- If you don’t have much free time during the week, try to schedule some during the weekend.
How to Develop Good Relationships
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1Become friends with a variety of different people. Everybody has something to contribute to your growth as a person, so try to interact with a lot of different people. Over time, you’ll develop a friend group filled with unique individuals that like you for who you are and add a lot of value to your life.
- If someone in your high school knows you as a friend from middle or even elementary school, you have a friend right there!
- Be nice to all the students you meet whether they are older or younger than you, that way you can slowly gain the respect of the entire school.
- If you have trouble making friends because you are shy, try to break out of your comfort zone by initiating conversations with people.
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2Find friends who support you instead of pushing you down. When searching for friends, look for people who make you feel good about yourself and do their best to support you. Even if it consists of only 1 or 2 people, having a group of friends you can trust and rely on will make your high school experience far easier.[6]
- Remember, it's natural for friends to sometimes drift apart as you grow. It's okay to let go of a friendship that doesn't feel supportive or nurturing anymore.[7]
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3Avoid people who make you feel bad about yourself. Throughout high school, you’ll run into people that have no qualms about insulting you or putting you down. Do your best to stay away from these people, and remember that their insults are not true and stem from their own personal insecurities.
- People who are mean in high school often regret their behavior once they grow older.
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4Let an adult know if you are being bullied. If someone is continually putting you down or making you feel physically threatened, talk to your parents and teachers about it immediately. There's no shame in wanting to be safe, and these authority figures can help you deal with the bully permanently.[8]
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5Get to know your teachers. You don’t have to be a teacher's pet, but do your best to be kind and friendly to everybody you take a class from. If possible, spend a few minutes before or after class talking with your teachers about things related to their subject. Not only will you learn a lot during these interactions, but it will make it easier to ask for things like:
- Homework extensions
- Extra credit opportunities
- Letters of recommendation
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6Join a school club or sports team to meet people with similar interests. Extra-curricular activities are a great way to meet like-minded people and make long-lasting friendships. If you’re already interested in a specific hobby or sport, see if your school has a club or team based around it.[9] Otherwise, simply look over your school’s list of activities and pick something that sounds cool to you. You'll meet more people who are likely candidates for friends if you try this.[10]
- In addition to the social aspects, club involvement will make you a stronger candidate when it comes time to apply to college.
- Clubs come in a variety of forms ranging from volunteering groups like Key Club to competition groups like the Business Professionals of America. Some schools even let students make independent clubs based around niche interests.
- If you’re not interested in joining an official sports team, see if you can join a recreational activities club instead.
How to Become a Stellar Student
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1Get a great day planner. To help you stay organized throughout the day, purchase a high-quality planner that you can write your class schedule, extra-curricular schedule, and assignment deadlines in. Make sure to bring it to every class so you can always keep it up-to-date.[11]
- Carefully mark all of your exam dates in your planner and schedule specific times to study for them.
- Mark times when you will be busy with friends or social events so you can plan your study schedule around them.
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2Keep your school binders organized. Avoid having an “everything” binder that you keep the notes, assignments, and tests from all your classes in. This will make you incredibly disorganized, and if you lose that binder, you will lose everything. Instead, create separate, clearly labeled binders for each class.[12]
- In case you forget your main binders at home, keep a spare binder in your locker that has paper, pencils, and other general supplies you can use to get through the day.
- If you don’t have a locker to keep your binders in, store them in a large backpack.
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3Learn strategies to stay focused in class. Do your best to pay attention whenever the teacher is talking. Even if you are not feeling motivated on a particular day, remind yourself to work hard and remember that you will reap the benefits later on.
- If you have trouble focusing, try putting up small distractions like chewing gum and major distractions like your phone.
- If your friends want to talk to you in class, ask them to wait until later.
- Write down the topic of each class session as soon as your teacher reveals it. This will help center your mind on the subject at hand.
- If you have trouble understanding the material, don’t be afraid to raise your hand and ask a question.
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4Take notes during class whenever your teacher allows it. Not only do notes make studying for tests easier, but they can actually help you commit the material to memory. If possible, write the notes by hand because it will make it easier to recall the information down the road.[13]
- Instead of writing down everything the teacher says, try to listen and then transcribe the most important information. This will make note taking easier, and can also help you learn the information as you write it down.
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5Do your homework. Doing your homework will not only earn you good grades, but it will help you better understand the subject material so you can apply the knowledge to your everyday life. To make sure your assignments get done, schedule in a few hours each night to focus on them.[14]
- Use dead time like bus rides to catch up on assigned reading.
- If you get sick, ask a friend to pick up your homework for you. This will keep you from falling behind.
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6Study for your quizzes and exams. If you know you have a test coming up, start studying at least 1 week in advance. This will give you plenty of time to refresh yourself on the material and study up on things you don’t understand. If you find yourself struggling with any of the material, ask your teacher for help before or after class.[15]
- Don’t leave all your studying for the night before. Though a quick pre-test cram session will ensure all the material is fresh, it won’t give you enough time to really understand the subject.
- If you have trouble studying on your own, create a study group with friends from the same class. Just make sure you focus on the material!
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7Create a college game plan. The earlier you start thinking about college, the better chance you’ll have of getting into the school of your dreams. Talk to your school’s guidance counselor as soon as possible so they can help you come up with a multi-year class schedule focused on the things college admissions boards are interested in.[16]
How to Find a Romantic Partner
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1Flirt with people you find attractive. If you come across another student you have a physical or emotional attraction to, try flirting with them to see if they have similar feelings toward you. If a person seems uncomfortable with your advances, respect their bubble of privacy and stop flirting with them. Some simple flirting tactics you can use include:
- Touching them lightly on the shoulder or arm
- Making frequent eye contact
- Complimenting them
- Teasing them gently
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2Ask someone out if you have a crush on them. If you have a crush on another student at school, don’t be afraid to ask them on a date. Even if you’re incredibly nervous, approach them with confidence and ask them the question as directly as you can.
- Try to be specific when you ask your crush out. Try something like "Do you want to go to the movies this Saturday?"
- Don’t worry if they say no! Rejection hurts, but remember that there are lots of other potential partners at your school.
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3Start a romantic relationship if you want to. High school is a perfect time to experiment with romantic relationships, and even if they don’t last long, these experiences can help you hone your dating skills for the future.[17]
- Remember: relationships are emotional roller coasters, so have a friend or family member you can talk to when dealing with break ups and other intense events.
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4Have sex only if you feel comfortable with it. You own your body, so don’t let anyone pressure you into doing things you’re not comfortable with. If you decide to have sex, make sure you understand the risks involved so you know how to have a safe and pleasant experience.[18]
- If you’re not ready to have sex, don’t worry about it! Though lots of high school students spend their time obsessing over sex, many people remain virgins until much later in life. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable.
- If pregnancy is possible, make sure to use contraceptives like condoms to prevent unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. Use dental dams and other types of barriers to prevent STDs.
- If possible, talk with your parents before making sexual decisions. It may be awkward, but open communication can help you stay safe and avoid life changing mistakes. If it is too awkward, talk with the counselor at your school.
Expert Q&A
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QuestionIs high school hard for freshmen?Ashley Pritchard, MAAshley Pritchard is an Academic and School Counselor at Delaware Valley Regional High School in Frenchtown, New Jersey. Ashley has over 3 years of high school, college, and career counseling experience. She has an MA in School Counseling with a specialization in Mental Health from Caldwell University and is certified as an Independent Education Consultant through the University of California, Irvine.
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QuestionHow can I make things easier for myself the first year of high school?Ashley Pritchard, MAAshley Pritchard is an Academic and School Counselor at Delaware Valley Regional High School in Frenchtown, New Jersey. Ashley has over 3 years of high school, college, and career counseling experience. She has an MA in School Counseling with a specialization in Mental Health from Caldwell University and is certified as an Independent Education Consultant through the University of California, Irvine.
School Counselor -
QuestionWhat should I pack in my bag for the first day of school?Ashley Pritchard, MAAshley Pritchard is an Academic and School Counselor at Delaware Valley Regional High School in Frenchtown, New Jersey. Ashley has over 3 years of high school, college, and career counseling experience. She has an MA in School Counseling with a specialization in Mental Health from Caldwell University and is certified as an Independent Education Consultant through the University of California, Irvine.
School Counselor
Warnings
- Do not vandalize or abuse school property, steal things from others, or bully fellow students. No school will tolerate this behavior and, depending on the severity of the situation, may take legal action against you.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Never bring over-the-counter or controlled drugs, weapons, pornographic materials, or other banned items to school. Students caught doing so may be suspended, expelled, or even arrested.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Avoid bullying any underclassmen. Remember, you were there once too, and you wouldn’t like someone doing mean things to you. Instead, offer them help if they’re trying to look for a classroom, if they’re trying to pick something up that they dropped, or anything of that nature.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Don't get into fights. They are no fun, can get you injured, and are a sure way to get you in trouble.⧼thumbs_response⧽
References
- ↑ https://www.theodysseyonline.com/survive-high-school
- ↑ http://www.girlslife.com/life/school/18761/survive-high-school-with-our-how-to-guide
- ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/healthyschools/physicalactivity/facts.htm
- ↑ Ashley Pritchard, MA. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 4 November 2019.
- ↑ https://scholarworks.gsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1117&context=cps_diss
- ↑ http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/emotional-support.aspx
- ↑ Alicia Oglesby. Professional School Counselor. Expert Interview. 29 October 2020.
- ↑ https://pacerteensagainstbullying.org/you-are-not-alone/tell-an-adult/
- ↑ Ashley Pritchard, MA. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 4 November 2019.
- ↑ Alicia Oglesby. Professional School Counselor. Expert Interview. 29 October 2020.
- ↑ https://www.usnews.com/education/best-colleges/slideshows/10-college-study-tips-that-high-school-students-can-master-now?slide=5
- ↑ Ashley Pritchard, MA. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 4 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/a-learning-secret-don-t-take-notes-with-a-laptop/
- ↑ http://www.girlslife.com/life/school/18761/survive-high-school-with-our-how-to-guide
- ↑ https://www.theodysseyonline.com/survive-high-school
- ↑ https://nypost.com/2013/09/15/how-to-survive-high-school/
- ↑ https://yourteenmag.com/social-life/tips-teen-dating/high-school-dating
- ↑ http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/should_i_have_sex_to_fit_in_keep_him_from_leaving
About This Article
To survive high school, fight the urge to change who you are just to fit in. Instead, be who you are and stay committed to your goals. Staying true to yourself is easier if you find friends who make you feel supported. If meeting new people is challenging, try joining a school club or sports team. Just make sure you save time for your school work and personal activities, like watching movies, playing video games, and hanging out with friends. To learn how to become a stellar student, keep reading!