How to Be Popular in High School

Last Updated: December 19, 2022

Navigating the social world of high school can be an intimidating experience, but you shouldn't let it get you down. If you learn to love the person you really are, as well as how to make other people comfortable in your presence, then you'll be on your way to being popular in high school in no time. If you want to know how be popular, read on!

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Being Social

1
Don't be fake. There's nothing worse than being fake because then your "friends" won't like you for you. Have the confidence to know that you're an amazing person who has a lot to offer, and you'll be more likely to attract a diverse group of interesting people. Don't tell people what you think they want to hear just to make them like you and avoid bragging just to make yourself sound cool. People will be able to tell if you're just trying to impress them or suck up to them, and you'll be less likely to make friends with them. Instead, slowly open up and let people know about who you are and the things that really matter to you. Also if you are fake chances are that people will notice and they will talk making this even harder for you.
- If you only become popular by trying to be someone you're not, then where's the fun in it? You don't want to keep up a charade forever, do you?
- Remember that if you have to completely change who you are to get people to like you, then it probably isn't worth it.
2
Be genuinely nice. Nobody likes a stuck up person. Smile to the people you know in the hallways. Don't act like you're better than them; arrogance is a huge turn off. If someone mentions you, you want them to talk about your good side, not your bad side. However, don't overdo it or they'll just start using you. You may think that you have to act like one of the Mean Girls to be popular, but in reality, this won't get you very far.
- To be truly nice, you should be polite and have good manners. This means holding doors for people, saying hello to people you know, making room for people walking in the halls, and being friendly even if you're in a bad mood.
- This doesn't mean you have to put on that false cheery persona you can sometimes see from adults; it just means that you should be kind to people, regardless of how popular you think they are.
- There's nothing worse than a person who is only nice to popular people or people who he thinks can get him somewhere. If you're mean to the people "below" you and nice to the people "above" you, then people will be on to you pretty soon.
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3
Stand up for yourself when you need to. If you want to make genuine friends, then you can't let people walk all over you. If you stick to your guns and know when to defend yourself, you'll actually gain respect and will be more likely to make more friends and to gain popularity. If you're nice to people just because you want them to like you, you won't get very far and you won't be respected.
- If someone is being mean to you, making you feel bad about yourself, and just generally putting you down for no reason, you shouldn't have to take it. Let the person know that his or her actions are unacceptable.^{[1]
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- You don't have to stoop down to a person's level just because the person is being mean to you. You can tell someone to stop what he or she is doing without calling names or being mean in return. Remember that you're better than that.
4
Be open to meeting new people. If you're friendly and are always going up to new people and making small talk with them, you'll be on your way to easily making friends. You should be excited to get to know new people, no matter what crowd they're in or what grade they're in. Of course, you should take it slow and not bombard new people, or people who look busy, but if you find an opportunity to talk to someone new, like if you're at your locker by yourself with another person at his locker standing next to you, then you should take it.
- When you're talking to new people, you should take things easy, talking about your classes, your hobbies, or what music you like. Ask the person a few easy questions to show that you care. You can talk about the serious stuff later, when you get to know each other better.
5
Be interested in other people. The key to being truly social and popular is not to talk about yourself all the time or to brag, but to show a real interest in other people. As the saying goes, you should be interested, not interesting. People will like you a lot more if you ask them questions and show that you care about them than if you try to show off. The next time you talk to someone, smile, ask questions about the person's day, make eye contact, and show that you really do care. This doesn't mean you should fake it, but that you should make an effort to make people feel like they are cared for. Here are some things you can do:
- Ask the person about how his weekend went.
- Ask people about something new to be shared.
- Ask about their likes and dislikes.
- Ask about the person's extra-curricular activities
- Compliment something the person is wearing
- Ask about something the person mentioned last time
- Find a balance between talking about yourself and the other person
6
Don't act like you're too cool to care. Sure, high school is a time when many people act like they are literally too cool for school. They may wear too much eyeliner, hunch over in class, show up late, or shrug when their teachers reprimand them. However, this should not be the way you approach high school. Embrace the fact that it's okay to care, and that you should try to go after the things that matter to you instead of worrying that you'll come off like a dork. If you really like English class, get excited about talking about your favorite book; if you love being on the tennis team, tell your friends about your upcoming match.
- Talking about the things that make you happy will make you a more exciting, engaging person. Give your opinions too. Agreeing with the opposite person and simply nodding to whatever they say will make you look very boring. Try to be a conversation starter and know when to listen and when to answer back to people.
7
Make small talk with new people. Small talk is a skill that many high school students lack, and if you know how to make small talk, you'll up your social game and will be on your way to being more popular. To make small talk, you just have to be able to chat with people about anything at all when you see them in the halls, without getting nervous or running out of things to say. Just relax, stop worrying about saying the wrong thing, and make the other person comfortable as you engage in a quick conversation in the halls or before class starts. Here are some things you can do when you make small talk:
- Talk about the class you just came from or were going to.
- Ask the person about his or her weekend.
- Talk about anything coming up in school, such as the fall dance or football game, and ask if the person is going.
- Chat about something in your environment, such as a flyer for the pep rally, or a shirt the person is wearing with the name of your favorite college on it.
8
Smile at people. You may think that the last thing you want to do in high school is to smile at anyone, because smiling is just so uncool, but you should change your attitude if you want to be more social and get on your way to being more popular. Smiling will make you more approachable, will make more people notice you, and will make more people likely to feel welcome in your presence. It's a big part of being friendly. You don't have to smile at absolutely everyone in your school, but if you walk by someone in the halls, take a chance and give that person a little smile, even if you don't know him or her.
- Let's face it. People in high school tend to be judgmental, and are likely to think that someone is mean or rude for no reason. If you smile more, people will be much more likely to think you're a welcoming, open person.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Getting Noticed

1
Dress well. You don't need the most trendy or expensive clothes to be popular, but you do need to look like you've put some time into your outer appearance. This isn't meant to sound superficial; it's just a fact that people who dress better are taken more seriously and are treated with more respect than people who maintain a sloppy appearance, whether they are at a job interview or meeting people at a party. Wear clothes that fit you, that are free of wrinkles, and that are clean, and people will be more likely to notice you.
- Your clothes can be a little loose or a little tight, depending on the look you're going for. But if your pants are obviously the wrong size, you may ask yourself if the statement is worth making.
- Just a few nice accessories, such as a pair of silver earrings or a nice watch, can help tie your outfit together.
- Don't worry about having five or ten completely new outfits. It's better to own fewer nice items of a higher quality. One really nice pair of jeans can serve you better than three cheap pairs of jeans.
2
Maintain good hygiene. Take a shower, shave, brush your teeth, put on deodorant, and keep your body and hair nice and clean. Though smelling fresh and clean is important, you should make sure not to load up on too much perfume or cologne or it'll be just as bad as if you don't bathe at all. Taking the time to have good hygiene shows that you respect and care for yourself.
- You should come to school fresh and showered. Bring deodorant to gym class and make sure that you're always as clean as you can be.
3
Make good decisions. Don't drink, smoke, run away, or sneak out. Bad choices can damage your life before it starts, and this will not make you popular. You may think that you will get noticed if you act rebellious or break some rules, and you really will get noticed, but not for long, and not for the reasons you want people to recognize you for. There's a difference between being popular for being well-rounded and friendly and developing a bad reputation.
- It's easier to make good decisions when you surround yourself with people who have good heads on their shoulders. If you fall prey to bad influences, you'll be more likely to make bad decisions yourself.
- If you're at a party, avoid drinking, jumping off high surfaces, or doing anything else that is ill-advised just to show off. The attention you get for these antics won't last.
4
Wow people with your confidence. If you're happy with who you are, what you do, and what you look like, people will be able to tell from a mile away. Smile at people and don't be afraid to say hi to them or to strike up a conversation. Walk with your head high and have positive body language, good posture, and a friendly energy whenever people notice you. This will make people want to get to know you and will make them interested in who you are.^{[2]
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- Developing true confidence can take years. You can aim to get yourself there if you work on doing the things you really love and excelling at something, so you feel happier and prouder of yourself throughout your day.
- You should also make a list of all of the things you love about yourself. Consult it often, especially if you're feeling down.
- You can also work to change the things you want to change about yourself. Don't think that you have to be the way you are; you have control over your destiny.
- Another way to up your confidence is to spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself. Ditch the friends who are always putting you down.
5
Do not make fun of or bully others because you think it will make you popular. Even though you might think that it will help boost your popularity, people will think badly of you. Do not do it, since it is not fair to become popular at another person's expense! Plus, bullies may be feared, but they are rarely popular. You don't want to develop a reputation for being a jerk.
- People who are truly popular don't bother putting people down, because they're confident enough in who they are and don't see the need to be mean.
6
Don't neglect your studies. Remember to focus on your studies even if you're trying to become more popular. Your grades are way more important than your social status. If you do well in school, you will be noticed for being a good student, and will have more opportunities to meet more people. Sure, you don't want to look like a nerd, but if you're proud of how hard you work, other people will appreciate you.
- Remember that, in the scheme of things, while being popular in high school may be fun for a while, when you look back on your high school years, you will regret not studying as hard as you could have much more than not trying harder to be popular.
7
Make fitness a priority. Whether you're hitting the gym or excelling in a school sport, exercising will not only make you look good, but it will make you feel good about yourself. And if you feel good about who you are, then more people will notice you as an awesome, confident person who is worth getting to know. Though exercise alone won't help you win any friends, it can contribute to a lifestyle that will lead you to be more popular.
- Making fitness a priority will also lead you to meet more people and to have more friends, whether you're on a school team, in a rec league, or just taking classes at your local gym.
8
Always look like you're having a great time. Another way to get noticed is to let people see that you're able to have a good time no matter where you are. Whether you're walking in the halls, at a party, or getting lunch in the cafeteria line, you should look like you're enjoying yourself. You don't have to laugh wildly in math class, but you should work on giving off a positive vibe and letting people see that you're happy with who you are and what you're doing. If you're talking to your friends, really engage in the conversation instead of looking around to see if there are more popular people to talk to. If you're having too much of a great time to care what people think, then they'll be more likely to want to talk to you.
- If you're always laughing, feeling good, and happy with what you're doing, you're more likely to attract friends.
- Of course, this doesn't mean you should fake it if you're having a genuinely crummy day, but that it doesn't hurt to really enjoy yourself if you have the opportunity.
- It's okay to complain if you really want to, but you don't want to get a reputation for being a negative person.
9
Be okay with doing your own thing. Though being social, being involved, and being friendly are sure-fire ways to become more popular, you should also be comfortable with being independent and doing what you want to do. If you want to wear something no one in your school has ever worn before, listen to completely different music from your friends, or try an activity your school doesn't offer, such as yoga or archery, then you shouldn't be reluctant about it just because no one else is doing it. Being independent will help you get noticed for a simple reason — because you'll stand out.
- This doesn't mean that you should be different just for the sake of being different, but because you truly want to do something different. You don't want to look like a poser if you're trying something "alternative" just to get attention.
10
Don't try too hard. Though there are many things you can do to up your social game and to stand out more to your peers, you should be careful about looking like you're trying too hard. In high school, people are particularly sensitive about this, so you should avoid making it seem like you are willing to do anything to be popular. This means that you shouldn't try too hard to talk to the popular kids if they aren't interested and that you shouldn't butt into conversations where you aren't welcome. You should also avoid trying to copy the looks of more popular people, because they will be on to your tricks.
- Trying to make new friends is a great way to put yourself out there and to be more popular. However, you should be on the lookout and know when people aren't looking to make friends. You don't want to risk embarrassing yourself by coming on too strong.
- The same goes for attracting people of the opposite sex. While snagging your crush will make you feel great, you should take things slow and get a sense of the other person's feelings before you move forward.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Getting Involved

1
Join extracurricular activities. Whether you're into basketball, cheerleading, French club, or band, joining a few extracurricular activities can help you become more popular simply because you'll get to know a wider variety of people. If you only get to know the people in your classes, you'll be missing out on a wide variety of amazing people from your school. You'll also find it easier to connect with people who share your interests, so you'll be more likely to make friends.
- Remember that, to be popular, people have to actually know who you are — what better way is there to get your name out there than to get involved in extracurricular activities?
- Finding the right extracurricular activity for you can also help you find a new passion, explore new hobbies, and maybe even to get inspired to follow a new career path.
- Find new ways to connect with people.
2
Get to know the people in your classes. Though it's important to be a good student, you should still be able to find time to relax and make a few friends in your classes. Whether you're chatting it up with your lab partner or the person who sits behind you in Algebra II, you should make an effort to get to know the people in your classes —without disrupting your learning, of course!
- You may end up finding a new best friend after working on a school project or putting together a lab report with a new classmate. Don't think that you can only find friends after school hours.
- People in your classes may also be excited to meet new people, because people don't always end up in class with people they already know since class assignments are random.
- If you have a lunch period and don't have any friends during the same period, try sitting with a new group of people, that way, you can make new friends and get to know them better.
3
Get involved in your community. Another way to be involved is to do something in your community. Whether you're volunteering at a soup kitchen or playing softball in a rec league, doing something that is community-based will help you get to know more people and to become experienced with talking to a wider variety of people. You may also meet some people from school who are doing the same thing, and this will help you make more friends from school or your neighborhood.
- Not only will getting involved in your community make you meet more people, but volunteering and doing something useful will build your confidence, which will make it easier for you to meet new people. It's a win-win situation.
4
Maintain a variety of interests. If you want to be popular, then you have to work on doing many different things with yourself; if you only play baseball or only work for the school paper, then you will miss out on getting to know so many interesting people. Though you shouldn't spread yourself too thin, you should engage in at least two or three activities that are likely to expose you to new people; if you stick to one interest only, then you'll just be friends with the same five people. Work on finding multiple things that interest you, so that you can make friends with a variety of interesting people.
- Part of being popular just means that people know who you are when you walk down the halls. Involving yourself in a diverse range of activities can help you get this done.
5
Support others, and take an interest in what they're doing. Go to the theater performance and remember to congratulate cast and crew members individually afterward, even calling out specific things you loved. Go to sports games, and cheer loudly from the stands. Go to orchestra performances, art shows, even the spelling bee to support your friends and the rest of the school. And let the people involved know you loved it!
6
Put yourself out there. If you aren't afraid to take risks and to put yourself out there during and after school, you'll be more likely to get yourself known. Sign up for your school's talent show. When a visiting guest speaker comes to school, volunteer to come up on stage. Help a student out with his homework after school. Spend your study hall volunteering at the school library. If you're only focused on doing the thing you have to do instead of finding new things to do, then you'll be less likely to be popular.
- If you're really shy, then you don't have to put yourself out there in a big, showy way. You can find small ways to make a difference, such as tabling for a club or making an announcement for your sports team in your homeroom.

Warnings

Don't become friends with people that you know are backstabbers. They could always betray you.

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Don't show off so much or people will think of you in a bad way.

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Don't be caught up trying to be with the "in-crowd" if it really isn't you. Work on pursuing your own dreams, be nice to people, and you will make friends regardless of your current social status. Otherwise, you will just look like a wannabe!

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Don't gossip about other people because in the end it will come back to you!

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If ANYONE in the popular crowd tries to tempt you into doing drugs, back out IMMEDIATELY. Better to be unpopular than to be lead down that road!^{[4]
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