How to Study when You Have Children

Last Updated: October 21, 2021

Taking on the roles of student and parent at the same time can be overwhelming. If you have kids and are considering going back to school, you may be wondering how you will find time to balance your educational and care giving responsibilities. Pulling all nighters to finish off an assignment may have worked when you were younger, but dealing with children on little or no sleep is a recipe for disaster -- and your studies will suffer, too. However, with a bit of planning, patience and perseverance, you can be a successful student and parent.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Making the Most of Time at Home

1
Schedule study time. On your calendar, planner, or scheduler, designate specific times (at least one per day) when you will try to study with minimal distractions. You may find that you can't always stick to this schedule, but getting into a study routine will help you be as efficient as possible and avoid letting parental tasks encroach on your at-home study time.^{[1]
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- Try to study while your kids are occupied. Break out the books after you've put them to bed, or before they've woken up in the morning.
- Consider creating a rotating study schedule if your parental duties and other obligations change from day to day; just make sure to write this down somewhere so you don't forget and get off-schedule. The more consistent your schedule, the easier it will be to stick to.
- Having a study schedule doesn't mean you can't squeeze in additional study sessions when you have time. In fact, doing so can help spread out your work load and keep you from feeling overburdened.
2
Designate a home study space. If at all possible, create a space at home in which you can study with minimal distraction. For this strategy to be effective, make this area strictly off-limits to your kids. In addition to helping you maintain focus while studying, this can also help ensure that your unfinished work or your place in the textbook or study guide won't be lost or disturbed by your children.
- If you don’t have space in your home you can dedicate to studying, at least have a box, drawer, or cabinet where you can store all your materials while they are not in use; this way, your work will stay safe.
- If you have a space you can use for studying but can't keep your kids away from all the time, make sure they understand that while you are working they are not to enter the room or disturb you unless there is an emergency.
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3
Try to fit studying around your family commitments. Making a set study schedule can definitely beneficial but you should also look for small portions of time throughout your day that you can devote to studying. This way, your studying is integrated around your family commitments and you do not feel that you are losing out on time with your children.
- Do some studying while the pasta is boiling for dinner or the roast beef is cooking in the oven. Fit studying in while you wait for your child to finish soccer practice or while you are waiting in line doing errands. This will allow you to maximize your time and feel like you are still able to follow through on your family commitments.
4
Get your kids to help out. If your children are old enough, assign them chores around the house while you are studying. This will help keep your kids busy while you are studying so you can focus on your work. This also carries the added benefits of accomplishing household tasks and teaching your children work ethic!^{[3]
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- If your kids are school-aged, establishing a rule that they do their homework while you are also studying can help avoid unplanned distractions during your dedicated study time.
- If your children are too young to do chores, having them help out might not work as well. However, even toddlers can be assigned "fake" tasks such as sweeping that they may see as a game.
- If your kids resist this plan of action, consider developing a points or reward system in which they can receive small benefits for putting in work. For instance, maybe 2 hours of work earns your child 30 minutes of uninterrupted TV time.
5
Talk to your live in partner about supporting your study time. If you have a spouse or partner that lives with you and your children, you may want to sit them down and discuss your planned study times. You can then ask them for assistance and support as you try to get some studying done during the day. They can support you by offering to take care of the children during your study times, like giving them a bath so you can get some work done. Your partner can also do chores for the children that you may not be able to do due to your studying.
- Don't be afraid to ask your partner of help. Parenting should be a team effort and your partner should be willing to support your educational goals.
6
Hire outside help. If you can afford to pay someone to help you out with childcare or household tasks (such as cleaning or cooking), do so. This will take a lot of the burden off your shoulders and give you time to study when you need it. If you can't afford to pay someone, look into trading off with family or friends. An arrangement like this can be mutually beneficial and will allow you to time to study without having to tend to your children.^{[4]
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- If you have a spouse at home, he or she should definitely be able to handle the extra responsibility of watching the kids alone a few nights a week. Ideally, this is a discussion you and your spouse will have before you decide to go back to school.
- If you are decide to hire someone to babysit while you study, try to find someone who can work around your ideal study schedule.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Benefitting from On-Campus Time

1
Attend every class period. Having a family obviously takes priority for most people, but if you commit to going back to school, make it count. Skipping out on lectures because you feel guilty about being away from your family will only reduce the benefit you receive from your studies. If this is something that matters to you, get the most out of it by attending every class meeting.
- Every once in a while, you may experience situations or parenting-related scheduling conflicts that keep you from being able to go to class. If an unavoidable circumstance arises, be sure to explain it to your professor ahead of time and ask what you can do to make up for it.
- Make sure you get the lecture notes from a classmate if you are ever unable to attend class. However, you should understand that this is a poor substitute for actually showing up and participating!
2
Pay close attention in class. Showing up to class is important, but it isn't enough to be successful. If you go to the trouble of attending class, make sure you get the most out of it by actively participating in class activities and discussions, asking questions during lectures, and taking diligent notes on the material being presented. Putting in extra effort while in class could mean less studying later and more time with your kids.
- Think of your class time as the prime opportunity for you to learn without distraction. This is a time during which you are guaranteed not to be disturbed, so don't waste it by worrying about what you have to do at home or feeling guilty about not being with your kids.^{[5]
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3
Simplify your class schedule. When choosing classes, pay attention to the days, times, and locations. Take the time to build a schedule that makes it as easy as possible for you to commit to attending. Try to stack your classes so you don't have to take multiple trips to campus each day or so you only have to go to campus a couple of days per week. ^{[6]
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- If possible, use public transit to get to and from class so you can study during your commute. If you do this, just make sure your class schedule fits with the bus or train schedule.
- If you don't have a day job, try to schedule your classes during the day while your kids are in school. This will minimize the time you need to spend away from them.
4
Make use of on-campus resources. Colleges usually have lots of resources available to their students for helping them study, manage their time, and even help them complete assignments. Ask your counselor or academic advisor about these services, or check your school's website for information about the services open to you.
- Ask your academic advisor for help and advice when you need it; this is one of the greatest resources available to you. Advisors can help you get the most out of your effort.
- Don't forget about resources indirectly related to your studies; these might include the school health center, disability services, and recreational facilities. The more balanced you feel overall, the better you will likely do in your studies.
5
Study while you're on campus. Seek out dedicated study areas on campus to get in quick study sessions while you are between classes or while you wait for traffic to subside before driving home. Places like the school library likely have dedicated study areas where you can find ample desk space, open access computer labs, reference books, and a quiet, relaxed atmosphere.
- Depending on how far away from campus you live, you might even want to consider making these on-campus study spaces your go-to spot for doing all your after-class work. This is a good way to avoid the distractions of home.
- By keeping your home life and school life separate, you can make the most efficient use of your time because you won't be trying to wear your 'parent' and 'student' hats at the same time. After all, kids are not known for willingly allowing parents time to themselves.
- Ask your partner to watch your kids while you study on-campus, or hire outside help.
6
Attend professors' office hours. Your professors hold office hours for each class they teach. This is a prime opportunity to get one-on-one help with projects, assignments, or topics you may be struggling with. Build this into your schedule and plan to go each week, even if you are not in desperate need of help. This will help build a rapport with your professors and will keep you from having to rearrange your schedule when you do need to get extra help.
- If your professor's office hours don't work with your schedule, explain your situation and ask her to set up a recurring appointment right after or before class.
- If you are a distance learner (attending online classes), your professor probably has online office hours; be sure to make use of these just as you would in-person office hours.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Making Your Life Easier

1
Have confidence in yourself. Try not to dwell on negative thoughts, such as worrying that you haven’t studied for a long time, that you'll be older than the other students, or that you shouldn't take so much time away from your family. Remind yourself that you are doing this to better yourself and that you have the support of your family and the maturity and experience to succeed.
- Deciding to go back to school is one of the hardest steps; once you've done this, you can take comfort in the fact that you made a difficult decision and are now in a position to benefit from it.
- Remember that by doing something so significant for yourself, you are taking steps toward a better you -- and this will benefit your children in the long run. Dismiss any thoughts that your choice is selfish or bad for your kids.
2
Keep up with your coursework. If you are given a course syllabus or schedule, take the time to plan ahead so you can be sure to complete assignments on time. This might require scheduling extra study time before due dates or exams. Being prepared for what is to come will help keep you from falling behind, which can be hard to recover from, especially while juggling kids and school.
- A good way to stay on top of your studies is to do a little bit each day rather than "cram" before the final exam. Even if you can only set aside 20 minutes a day, this will add up in your favor if you commit to studying during that period.
- If you are having trouble keeping up, request extra help from your professor with course concepts, more assistance from your spouse in handling the kids, or add 30 minutes a day to your babysitter's schedule.
3
Set reasonable expectations. Any way you slice it, being a parent and a student is no easy task. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to excel at everything. Your educational goals should be set based on what you hope to achieve in the long run and within the context of your personal and family life. Are you simply taking a class for fun, or do you need to do well in order to keep your job?
- Work out what you have to do to pass your classes, commit to that, and take pride in anything extra you are able to accomplish.
- In likely the worst case academic scenario, you fail a class and have to retake it later; this is a far less serious consequence than if you were to neglect your children in the interest of studying harder. Your priorities as a parent should help define what you can reasonably accomplish in school.^{[7]
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4
Avoid feeling guilty for your studies. Though it can be difficult to balance school work and a family life, you should try not to guilt yourself for spending time away from your children. You can still be devoted to your children and achieve your personal goals, especially if you establish a study schedule around your family commitments.
- You can also view your education pursuits as positive behavior that your children can use as a model. Your ability to balance school and family can act as a positive example that your children can observe and hopefully model in the future.
5
Take time to enjoy your family. Avoid letting your studies consume your life by making sure you don't miss out on special moments with your kids. If necessary, schedule time to spend with your kids doing fun activities or relaxing together. This will help keep you from feeling burned out, will relieve any guilt you may have about spending so much time in school, and will help your whole family stay close with one another. ^{[8]
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- Family time can include attending a child's recital or sporting event, watching a movie together, or even taking a short vacation. Whatever brings your family together, make time for it.
- You will likely regret missing critical moments in your child's life much more than missing class or even an exam; this is something to think about when sorting out your schedule and priorities.

Warnings

Don't sacrifice your wellbeing just to fit in an extra class. If you are too exhausted to stay on top of your studies, you could suffer negative health consequences and won't benefit from the class anyway.

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Be careful not to neglect the emotional and psychological needs of your children. If your kid feels like you are always blowing him off to study, he may begin to resent your student status and could act out.

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