How to Stop Liking Someone

Co-authored by Klare Heston, LCSW

We’ve all been there—crushing on someone we shouldn’t be crushing on. Maybe you already know that this person is a poor match for you, or they are spoken for. Perhaps you’re spoken for. Regardless, you can stop liking someone by reducing the amount of time you spend hanging with them or thinking about them. Keep yourself busy with new friends and new activities. Also, you’ll need to set some realistic expectations about the whole process. Before you know it, this person will be a distant memory!

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Reducing Your Romantic Feelings

1
Think of their faults. One way to stop liking someone is to change how you think about them. Everybody has faults. You may not have been able to see your crush’s faults because you were idolizing them. Take some time to think about this person’s drawbacks.^{[1]
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- For example, maybe you want to stop liking the person because of something horrible they did, or because your friends or family don't approve of them.
- You might also want to stop liking the person because you don't have much in common with them or because they have bad traits like using drugs or lying a lot.
2
Get some space from the person. The old proverb "out of sight, out of mind" is true. When you surround yourself with different people and things, this person won’t be at the forefront of your mind.^{[2]
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- If you share the same social group and cannot avoid your crush, hang out in large groups for a while. Don’t spend time with them one-on-one.
- If you know the person typically hangs out in a certain place, avoid going there when you know they’ll be around.
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3
Limit contact with them both offline and online. Reduce all forms of contact with your crush. Being consistently reminded of them will only make getting over them harder. Remove their number from your phone’s list of contacts, delete their email, and unfollow them on social media.^{[3]
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- If you are on Facebook, you can unfollow the person without completely removing them as a friend. This removes their stories from your news feed without their knowledge. Doing so avoids the awkward, "Hey, why did you delete me?" conversation.
- However, if you think you will still be tempted to view their profile, delete them altogether. You can always re-friend them at a later time.
4
Stop talking about them. In order to reduce your feelings for this person, you'll also need to stop talking about them as much as you once did. No more going on and on about how great they are. Enlist your best buds to hold you accountable.^{[4]
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- For instance, you might ask your friends to change the subject or call you out on it whenever you bring up your crush.
5
Get rid of reminders. It's harder to forget someone if you're surrounded by items that spark thoughts of your feelings for them. Spend an afternoon going through your things and purging any items that relate to the person.^{[5]
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- Did you write their name on a notebook? Do you have an old note from them? Did you use to drink Orange Crush together? Get rid of anything they gave you and put away anything that makes you think of them.
- If you can't permanently get rid of something (like a piece of furniture or a school textbook), try to find ways to keep it out of your sight as much as possible. Wrap a book in a new cover or toss a throw over the couch you used to sit on together.
6
Avoid romantic movies or songs. Hearing special songs or watching specific movies may make you long for your crush. Avoid those songs and films that you know will make you think about the person. These may include those that are downright romantic or simply those that you enjoyed together.^{[6]
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- Make a new playlist of songs that aren’t related to romantic relationships. Select a new TV show or movie to watch that doesn’t connect back to the person.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Keeping Yourself Occupied

1
Make new friends or reconnect with old ones. If you were crushing on a new person, you may have started to neglect your social circle. Get back out there and start rekindling old friendships or making new ones. Hanging with good friends can help you feel supported and take your mind off your crush.^{[7]
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- Call up your best buds and plan to hang out on the weekend or have a sleepover.
- Join a new club or sports team.
- Volunteer at a local hospital, nursing home, or pet shelter.
- Take care not to spend too much time talking about your crush when you are spending time with friends. Going on about your crush can be counterproductive, and may irritate your friends.
2
Find a hobby. When you’re head over heels for someone, you often put your passions on the backburner. Start doing things you enjoy again. Filling your hours with exciting activities will help you forget your crush. Plus, you’ll likely meet new people through these endeavors.^{[8]
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- Have you always wanted to learn to play guitar? Approach that cool kid at school who’s a master. Look up DIY or craft projects on Pinterest. Or check out a new book if you’ve neglected your passion for reading.
3
Shake up your routine. Following the same old ho-hum routine can be boring. Not to mention, if you’re still going to all the same places and doing all the same things, it’ll be harder to take your mind off your crush. Switch things up a bit to refresh your life.^{[9]
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- Start a new workout or fitness regimen, such as doing a beginner to 5k running program. Get breakfast at a new restaurant every day before school or work. Take a class to learn to cook or speak a new language.
4
Start flirting again. Flirting with someone or dating someone new might be the last thing on your mind, but getting back out there might help reduce your feelings for your crush. You never know, the next person you meet might turn out to be so much more attractive and interesting than the person you’re trying to forget.
- Keep things casual at first. Focus on meeting someone new and casually flirting. Spend some time hanging out with them. Aim to simply fill your social calendar, enjoy nice company, and have a good time.^{[10]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Setting Realistic Expectations

1
Choose one thing to act on right away. Think about a feasible goal that you would like to accomplish regarding your feelings for this person. Perhaps you’d like to get rid of any mementos of your relationship or stop calling them. Focus on this one goal to start.^{[11]
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- Outline a plan that helps you achieve this goal. For example, if you want to get rid of mementos, schedule one day to sort items, one day to box them up, and then one day to trash or donate them.
- Another goal might be to spend one afternoon blocking a crush on different social media platforms.
2
Write about your feelings. It’s unrealistic to suppress your feelings, but you may find that writing about them helps you move through them. Schedule a window each day to write about your feelings for the other person. Tell yourself you will try not to think about them until your writing window.^{[12]
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- You might find that, in the beginning, your entries are longer and still reveal strong feelings for the person. Over time, however, you might find yourself writing about them less or writing about something completely different.
- Only use this writing window if you need it. If you don’t have any thoughts about the person that day, you don’t need to write.
3
Be patient. Give yourself time to get over your infatuation for the person. Emotions don't go away overnight. Don’t be hard on yourself if you start pining for them or can’t get them off your mind. Have acceptance for whatever thoughts come to mind. Remember that your feelings will fade in time.^{[13]
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4
Keep track of your progress. Take a little time at the end of each week to make note of how much you’ve been thinking about your crush. Over time, you should find yourself thinking about them less and less.
- If the amount of time you spend thinking about them stays the same or increases over time, consider seeing a counselor to discuss ways to manage your feelings.