How to Set Up a Second Date

You’ve scored a first date with someone you really like. Now what? Asking for a second date can feel super awkward, but it doesn’t have to be. We’re here to help you smoothly and easily set up a second date. Keep reading for a comprehensive guide to scheduling date number two.

Section 1 of 4:

When do you ask for a second date?

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    1
    Schedule the second date during the first date if you can. When a date is going well, go ahead and suggest a second date. They probably want a second date if they say they’re having a good time or that they want to see you again. As your first date is coming to a close, simply suggest that you get together during the upcoming week to do something fun.[1] You might say:
    • “Tonight’s been fun! Do you want to get dinner on Friday?”
    • “I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. Maybe we can laugh over coffee this Saturday?”
    • “I’m really enjoying getting to know you. Since you like art, do you want to check out the Van Gogh exhibit with me this Saturday?”
  2. Image titled Set Up a Second Date Step 2
    2
    Ask for a second date soon after your first date. Texting or calling immediately after your date shows you’re interested. If you wait too long, they might assume you don’t want to continue dating. Contrary to what you might hear, you don’t need to wait three days after a date to contact them.[2] You might say:
    • “I had a great time! I hope we can do it again soon.”
    • “Tonight was so fun! I can’t wait to make plans with you again.”
    • “Meeting you was great! Can’t wait to get to know you better.”
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    Call or text them now. It’s okay if you don't ask them out again right away. It’s totally okay to take things slowly. If you’re still talking, they’re probably interested in you. Go ahead and ask them out again.[3] Say:
    • “I was just thinking about how much fun we had last Friday. Wanna go out again this weekend?”
    • “I really like talking to you. Would you be interested in getting together again one night this week?”
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Section 2 of 4:

How much time should you wait between first and second dates?

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    There’s no rush, so schedule your second date when it’s convenient. If you really like each other, it won’t matter how long you wait between dates. Schedule it right away if that works for you, or delay your date a bit if that fits your schedule better.[4]
Section 3 of 4:

Second Date Ideas

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    Invite them to do something you both enjoy. It’ll be hard to say “no” to something you know they love. Plus, engaging in a mutual interest will help you both see how compatible you are. Use your knowledge of them to pick the perfect date.[5] Phrase your invite like:
    • “We both like art, so I thought we could check out this gallery event on Friday night.”
    • “Since we both like astronomy, do you want to go stargazing this Saturday night?”
    • “I know we both like table-top games. Do you want to check out the game cafe this Sunday?”
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    2
    Suggest an activity you heard them mention. Think back to what they’ve talked about during your date. Chances are, they’ve mentioned something that could inspire a great second date. Show them you’re a great listener by bringing it back up.[6] Say something like:
    • “I heard you mention Indian food earlier. Do you want to go out for some on Friday?”
    • “You like bowling, right? Wanna go this weekend?”
    • “You mentioned the science museum earlier. We could check out the new mummy exhibit this Saturday.”
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    3
    Ask them for a recommendation, then make it a date. Act like a second date is their idea. Say something like “Do you know any good Mexican restaurants” or “Do you have a favorite coffee shop?” When they respond, suggest you go together on a date.[7] Say:
    • “Miguel’s Cantina sounds amazing! We should go this Friday.”
    • “Sounds delicious. Let’s meet there this Saturday.”
    • “What a fun idea! Wanna go this weekend?”
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    4
    Go with something active if you can’t decide what to do. On a second date, you’re still getting to know each other, and it’s normal to feel nervous. Just focus on having fun.[8] Here are some exciting date ideas you could try:
    • Go to a planetarium.
    • Visit a butterfly house.
    • Go to an immersive art exhibit.
    • Take a salsa class at a wine bar.
    • Play mini golf.
    • Go bowling.
    • Do an improv workshop.
    • Go to a paint-and-sip.
    • Visit an arcade.
    • Race go-karts.
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Section 4 of 4:

Acing the Second Date

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    Text them leading up to the second date. Good communication shows you’re interested. Keep the conversation going by asking questions, talking about your upcoming date, and checking in on them. Always wait for them to reply to a text before you send another one so they don’t feel overwhelmed.[9] You could say things like:
    • “How was work today?”
    • “I’m really looking forward to this weekend!”
    • “Did you finish that project you were working on?”
    • “How do you wind down after work?”
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    2
    Stay positive and upbeat. Stick to light, fun topics when you’re getting to know someone. Sometimes people make the mistake of talking about past relationships or emotional baggage too early. Right now, just focus on having fun.[10] As you get to know each other, you can open up about your past.
    • Text them funny memes or ask questions to get to know them.
    • Open up about your interests, hobbies, or goals you’re working toward.
    • Tell them funny stories from your life.
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    3
    Focus your attention on your date. Put your smart phone away during your date so all of your attention is on your date. Additionally, show interest in them by asking them questions and really listening to the answers.[11] You’ll be on your way to a successful date.
    • Try not to be too talkative or needy on your date because that’s typically a turn-off.[12]
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    4
    Be your authentic self on the date. You’re more likely to make a connection with someone if you’re being genuine. Don’t worry about what your date is looking for in a partner. Just be yourself.[13]
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Warnings

  • Avoid mistakes like using terms of endearment too early or talking about your date being your perfect match.[14] Take things slow and get to know your date.
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References

  1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-love-the-scientific-take/202108/following-after-first-date
  2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-love-the-scientific-take/202108/following-after-first-date
  3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/201712/what-do-after-first-date-if-you-want-second
  4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/201712/what-do-after-first-date-if-you-want-second
  5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-love-the-scientific-take/202108/following-after-first-date
  6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-love-the-scientific-take/202108/following-after-first-date
  7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/5-ways-indirectly-ask-date
  8. ↑ https://www.regain.us/advice/dating/what-should-happen-on-a-second-date-determining-your-expectations/
  9. ↑ https://www3.nd.edu/~ghaeffel/OnineDating_Aron.pdf
  1. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/tips-for-finding-lasting-love.htm
  2. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/tips-for-finding-lasting-love.htm
  3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201511/15-first-date-mistakes-you-should-avoid
  4. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/tips-for-finding-lasting-love.htm
  5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201511/15-first-date-mistakes-you-should-avoid

About This Article

Lisa Shield
Co-authored by:
Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by Lisa Shield and by wikiHow staff writer, Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA. Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan. This article has been viewed 6,015 times.
1 votes - 100%
Co-authors: 6
Updated: May 11, 2022
Views: 6,015
Categories: Dating
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