How to Send an Anonymous Love Letter

Co-authored by Crista Beck

Last Updated: June 21, 2022

So you’re finally ready to confess your feelings, but not yet ready to reveal your identity. An anonymous love letter can be intimidating to write, and people have mixed opinions on whether you should write one in the first place, but when done right it can be a beautiful, romantic gesture. Whether you’re still deciding if you want to remain anonymous, or struggling with what to write, we’re here to help! Keep reading to learn the pros and cons of writing an anonymous love letter plus how to write one.

Section 1 of 4:

Should you write an anonymous love letter?

1
There are definitely some benefits to sending an anonymous love letter. It’s a sweet, old-school way of expressing your feelings, and can be a touching, different way to communicate.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- The anonymity of the letter allows for the focus to be solely on your feelings, leaving many complicated questions such as “am I ready for a relationship?” for later down the road.
- If you’re unsure if they have feelings for you, writing an anonymous love letter can protect your identity and save you from any awkwardness.
- Sending the letter will not only share your feelings with your crush, but in planning and writing the letter, will also help you sort through and identify your own feelings.
2
But there are also some downsides you’ll want to keep in mind. While anonymity can be seen as a romantic gesture, some people may also find it alarming or confusing to receive an anonymous love letter. It’s hard to predict how the other person will react.
- If you are looking to begin a relationship, sending an anonymous letter will be an obstacle. Without knowing who you are, your crush might not know how to respond or feel about the letter. Plus, it can be difficult to develop feelings for someone when you don’t know who they are.

Section 2 of 4:

What to Write in an Anonymous Love Letter

1
Mention what you admire about them. Compliment them and make them feel good about themselves! Show them what they look like through your eyes. Tell them specifically what you love about them.
- “You have the most beautiful eyes.”
- “You’re so thoughtful and kind.”
2
Explain why you’re writing this letter to them. Tell them what made you want to write this letter. Additionally, the first thing your crush will wonder is who is writing to them and why the letter is anonymous. If there’s a situation that is preventing you from revealing your identity, help them understand your point of view!^{[2]
X
Research source}
- “I know you like someone else, so I don’t want to reveal who I am.”
- “I’m not ready to tell you who I am, but I want you to know that you’re so wonderful.”
3
Get creative with your letter format. There are many ways of expressing yourself. Don’t feel restricted or pressured to be too serious! Consider:
- A love poem
- Writing them a joke
- Make a list of reasons you love them or cute qualities they have
- Include a memento from a memory you share with them, like a ticket stub
- Including a song that expresses how you feel about them
4
Keep your letter short. Remember that by making your letter anonymous, you are now a stranger to your crush. Try not to write a letter that is long and too intimate or familiar. A long letter could backfire and scare your crush even though that’s not your intention.

Section 3 of 4:

How to Stay Anonymous

1
Type your letter so it can’t be traced back to your handwriting. Although handwriting a love letter can be more intimate, if your handwriting is very distinguishable or your crush knows your handwriting, typing your letter will ensure your identity remains a secret!
2
Send your letter from an anonymous email address as an alternative. If you’re choosing to deliver your letter via email, creating a new email address will prevent your identity from being exposed. Avoid using your real name and opt for a more general username.
3
Try sending the letter over text from a new number. Even if they don’t have your number saved, you don’t want to risk being found out through your phone number. Look on the app store for free texting apps that will give you a new number.
4
Limit the number of people you tell about the letter. Word of mouth travels fast, and the more people who know you’re going to write an anonymous love letter, the more likely your crush will hear about it as well.
5
Be careful not to sound too much like yourself. Make a list of words or phrases you use often and steer clear of them in your letter. That way, your crush won’t be able to trace the letter back to you.

Section 4 of 4:

What Not to Do

1
Don’t deliver the letter to their house. It can be frightening for an anonymous person to know where you live. Instead, deliver the letter to a public place your crush frequents often–for example: their locker or their workplace.
2
Don’t send more than one letter at a time. This can be overwhelming. Instead, if you hope to keep the conversation going through the letters, leave instructions for your crush on how they can reply back to you.
- “If you want to respond, you can leave your letter at the picnic tables.”
3
Don’t include potentially creepy phrases. Avoid anything that indicates you’ve been watching your crush in secret since it could come across the wrong way. Steer clear of phrases like:
- “I’ve been watching you.”
- “I see you walk to school every day.”
- “Who was that with you after work?”