How to Relax in Bed

Last Updated: March 22, 2023 References

Remaining in bed does not always mean sleeping. Whether it's in the morning and you're lounging around or it's nighttime and you're just relaxing before sleep, relaxing in bed can be some of the best relaxation you get all day. To get the most out of your time spent awake under the covers, you'll need to set the mood, and get to spoiling yourself. Sounds good, huh? Then let's get started.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Making Your Bedroom Relaxing

1
Turn off everything electronic. Whether it’s morning or night, you want your relaxing in bedtime to just be you and your bed (and maybe a cup of tea or a book). Anything else should be turned off and put away. Turn your alarm clock away from you, turn off your phone, shut your computer, and lock the door.^{[1]
X
Expert Source

Alex Dimitriu, MD
Sleep Specialist
Expert Interview. 16 October 2019.}
- Having electronics on cues our bodies to stay on the alert. Apart from the light that they emit (that messes with our sleep-awake cycle), they keep us thinking about the million things we have to do. Get rid of them and your brain may be able to shut off, too.^{[2]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  Cleveland Clinic
  Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
  Go to source}
- To help with this, try staying away from all electronics and artificial light sources that would keep your brain awake for at least one hour before you go to bed.
- Alright, so the one caveat here is TV if done correctly. We’ll talk about how to do this the right way in the next section.
2
Get the lighting right. If it’s Sunday morning and you’re looking for a luxurious lie-in, throw open the curtains and get your room filled with natural light. Let the light warm the room.
- If it’s at night, match the lighting to your needs. If you’re reading a book, turn on a lamp by your bed. Apart from that, have the lighting be dim. If you don’t intend to sleep, you can have the lighting be a bit brighter, but it shouldn’t be anything that offends your retinas.
Advertisement
3
Adjust the temperature. If you eventually want to fall asleep, it’s a good idea to lower the temperature to around 66°F (19°C). Not only does this program your body to go into sleep mode, but small studies say it can also up your metabolism and even regulate your insulin levels (helping fight against diabetes) as long as you only use a sheet. If that’s not reason enough, what is?^{[3]
X
Research source}
- If you don’t want to fall asleep, make the temperature a little higher, but not too high. You want that sweet spot where your body wants to climb under the covers but not fall asleep. It’ll likely be somewhere around 69° (20°C).
4
Fill the room with a relaxing scent. There is some pretty decent research on the effects of aromatherapy, and it all points to increased relaxation. If you don’t take essential oils yourself, you can put them in a diffuser and fill the room with a scent that tells your body it’s time to relax.^{[4]
X
Trustworthy Source
Cleveland Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source} Why not let your nose do the work?
- Some good scents are lavender, petitgrain, chamomile, geranium, sandalwood and rose. However, any scent you enjoy could put you in zen garden mode.
5
Throw on some comfy clothes. Even if the temperature is perfect, your bed is comfy, the lighting is dim, and the room smells great, you’re not going to have a relaxing time wearing your Sunday best. Get out of presentation mode and into your pajamas. Or heck, into your birthday suit.
- You should adjust the temperature to match the clothes you’re wearing. If you’re wearing long johns and a sweater to bed, the room can be a bit colder. If you’re going like the day you were born, you may want to make it a little warmer.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Taking It Easy and Reducing Stress

1
Write in your journal. For many people, writing in a journal is something we've all done, vowing to keep at it and quitting within the week. But what most of us don't know is that journaling can actually reduce anxiety and stress – in fact, journaling about our worries helps get rid of them and helps us perform better in daily life.^{[5]
X
Trustworthy Source
University of Rochester Medical Center
Leading academic medical center in the U.S. focused on clinical care and research
Go to source} If you didn't have a reason to journal before, why not do it for your mental health?
- If you have a notebook and pen in hand but don't know quite what to write about, look out the window for inspiration. What do you hear? What kind of trees are those? Those birds, what are they? What are you noticing that you didn't notice before?
2
Do a crossword puzzle or read a book. You probably know that doing brain games and reading books are good for you intellectually, but did you also know that they're good for eliminating stress and taking your mind off of your worries?^{[6]
X
Research source} Having something else to concentrate on may be all you need.
- It's not just crossword puzzles, of course. You could also take a load off with sudoku, word finds, or other math and word puzzles, too.
3
Primp yourself. We all need to remind ourselves sometimes that we are cared for and safe – even by our own selves. Take a morning, afternoon, or evening and just do whatever makes you feel good. You could sit in bed with an avocado face mask on while you paint your nails, put a hot oil mixture on your hair, or just lie down with a heated massage pad and soak the moment in.
- Sometimes there's too much on our minds to spend time primping. If that rings true for you, instead, take this time to organize your mind, writing down to-do lists, planning out your budget or meals for the week, and just getting a firm hold on the steering wheel of your life. When you have this feeling, the rest could fall into place.
4
If you do watch TV, watch something light and cheerful. All right, so in general, electronics are bad. But that being said, some people do find TV in bed to be a good way to wind down from the stress of everyday life. If this sounds familiar, don’t try to unwind with your favorite crime drama or even the news (since most of it is so negative). Stick to something light and cheerful to keep your brain light and cheerful.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- Your favorite old-school sitcom is a good bet. Find a program where you can turn your brain off and enjoy the laughs. Avoid the ones that make you worry or evoke a negative emotional reaction, like fear or anger.
5
Bring to bed a cup of hot herbal tea. In addition to the feeling of having something warm in your hands being quite comforting, tea itself can help you relax and destress. Tea such as Chamomile and passionflower can possibly be calming. ^{[8]
X
Research source}
6
If you’d like, relax with a stress-fighting snack. But be careful not to get crumbs in the sheets! If you’re looking for a snack, here’s a few things to put on your relax-in-bed menu:
- Dark chocolate. Just a little bit (about an ounce and a half) has been shown to reduce cortisol levels, which is the hormone in your body that produces stress. It may also be able to help regulate your metabolism.^{[9]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  Johns Hopkins Medicine
  Official resource database of the world-leading Johns Hopkins Hospital
  Go to source}
- Mango. This fruit has high amounts of linalool, which when smelled has been shown to reduce stress in rats.^{[10]
  X
  Research source}
- Chewing gum. And it doesn’t matter the flavor, either. Just a few minutes of chewing may help lower stress levels, or so some studies have shown.^{[11]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  PubMed Central
  Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
  Go to source}
- Anything crunchy. Stressed individuals tend to crave crunchy things, and it seems that crunching away may be a stress-reducer. So grab a handful of nuts or celery and start working on your peace of mind.^{[12]
  X
  Research source}
7
Cuddle with a pet or a child. We all know that feeling of holding an adorable kitten, puppy, or even baby. It warms our hearts and puts our mind in a good place. Now imagine that feeling in bed! That feeling of unconditional love will seep into your veins and you’ll never want to get out of bed.
- It turns out that owning a pet has health benefits too. Owners of furry, four-legged friends tend to have lower blood pressure levels and are at lower risk for depression.^{[13]
  X
  Research source}
8
Start planning your vacation. Sometimes all we need to relax is just to get out of the past or the present and delve ourselves into the potential of the future. Grab a notebook and start working on something you can look forward to, like a vacation. Picture the locale in your mind. What do you want to do? Where do you want to go?
- This is should be thought of as a sort of practical visualization. You’re not only thinking of how wonderful your destination is, but also how happy you’ll be. It may also serve as motivation to save up money, get in shape, and feel good about where your life is going.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Finding Total Body Relaxation

1
Monitor your breathing. A good way to focus on your body and bring your mind into the present is to monitor your breathing. It's the first step of meditation, after all. Get comfortable and focus on a deep inhale in and a deep exhale out. How do your lungs feel? Your diaphragm? Your nostrils and throat? Focusing on this can take you to an entirely different place mentally – a stress-free place of calm.^{[14]
X
Expert Source

Alex Dimitriu, MD
Sleep Specialist
Expert Interview. 16 October 2019.}
- Try starting out with breathing in for four beats and breathing out for eight. Do this for a few times, and gradually move up to inhaling for eight and breathing out for sixteen. As you breathe slower, your heart rate will also slow down, cuing your body to relax.
2
Do some body relaxation exercises. When it comes to progressive relaxation, you have two basic options, and they’re both quite effective. Here are the details:^{[15]
X
Research source}
- Progressive muscle relaxation. As you're laying down focusing on your breathing, start moving your focus to your toes. Relax them completely. Move up to your ankles. Let those go, too. Slowly but surely move up your body until every bit of you is consciously relaxed.^{[16]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Alex Dimitriu, MD
  Sleep Specialist
  Expert Interview. 16 October 2019.}
- Progressive tension release. For this type of relaxation, take a deep breath in. When you let it out, relax your body just a little. Then when you inhale in, let your body be. Don't try to do anything. But on the exhale, relax a little more. Continue this until your body feels completely relaxed.
3
Try prayer or meditation. If you're the religious type, a little bit of prayer in bed may be all you need to feel a little more at peace. As you're doing so, remember to take a second to listen – it doesn't have to be just you talking, talking, talking.
- If that doesn't appeal to you, try meditation. Why? Tons of research has denoted that meditation helps alleviate levels of stress, anxiety, and depression.^{[17]
  X
  Research source} And you don't have to sit-up and say, "ommm," either. Just focus on your breath, and let everything you notice sweep over you without reacting. It's not about clearing your mind, it's about letting absolutely nothing fester.
4
Take a mental vacation with visualization. Sometimes the only thing you feel capable of is closing your eyes, and that's totally a-okay in the name of relaxation. As you do so, picture your version of paradise. Be sure to make it as sensory as possible, using all 5 of your senses. The more complete of a picture you paint, the more effective your visualization will be.
- Let's say you're on a deserted beach. Are you standing or sitting? How does the sand feel? Is there a breeze? Are there droplets of water in the breeze, too? What do the waves sound like? Are there birds? Can you smell the fish? How bright is it?
5
Give yourself a hand massage. Did you know that a hand massage can actually slow a pounding heart? It’s true. Whether it’s you giving it to yourself or someone else being graciously giving, it can help calm you down and center you for ultimate relaxation.^{[18]
X
Research source}
- Acupressure can also be effective. It's similar to a massage, but there's less movement. Try squeezing the pad of skin between your pointer finger and thumb and hold it there for five seconds before releasing. Your body has several pressure points, and tuning into them can help your muscles release tension.
6
Don’t try to relax. You know those people that try to be cool and fail miserably? And how it’s because they’re trying to be cool and that’s just not how it works? Well, it’s not how relaxing works either. Don’t try to relax. If you do, you’ll just be focused on how you’re not relaxed and get frustrated. Instead, just slow down. Pick whatever relaxing activity you have in mind and the relaxing will come. Trust it.
- This list is by no means exhaustive. If it inspires you to do something else equally as relaxing, then do it. It's about what makes you feel good and grants you zen, not what anybody else says. If you want crumbs in the bed, then let crumbs be in the bed. Why not?