How to Overcome a Fear of Success

Co-authored by Amy Wong

Some people fear failure, or what will happen if they don’t reach their goals. Others fear success. They are afraid of what might happen, what might change, or how others might feel if they achieve their goals. If you are afraid of success you may want to know how you can stop being your own biggest obstacle. You don’t have to let your fear hold you back from achieving your potential and reaching your goals. You can overcome a fear of success. You can start by questioning your fear, improving your self-confidence, and ending self-destructive behaviors.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Questioning Your Fear

1
Ask yourself how you define success. Before you can begin to overcome a fear of success, you have to understand what success means to you.^{[1]
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Research source} Even though it may be tough to pinpoint specifically what being successful means to you, doing this will help you understand exactly what it is you’re fearing.
- Be sure to identify your vision for personal and professional success.
- Ask yourself, “What does success look and feel like to me? How will I know if I’m successful? What will I do and how will I act when I’m successful?”
- Write down as your answers to these questions. Include answers that may not seem to relate to success if they pop into your head. For example, if you think “Success looks like luxury,” write that.
- Be as specific as possible. For example, instead of writing, “If I have a lot of money I’ll know I’m successful,” write something like, “I’ll know I’m successful when I have $10 million in savings.”
2
Question what about success scares you. Sometimes when we are afraid we can recognize the feeling, but not still understand exactly what we’re afraid of. In order to overcome your fear, you have to ask yourself what specifically you are afraid of and where the fear cam from.^{[2]
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Research source} Once you know what you’re really afraid of, you can work to overcome your fear.
- Try asking yourself, “Am I fearful of this because someone put it in my head? Or, is it based on past mistakes or failures?” If the fear is truly unfounded, this may help you let go of it.
- Some reasons you might be afraid of success are because you're worried about having more money or about having more of a spotlight on you.^{[3]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Amy Wong
  Leadership & Transformational Coach
  Expert Interview. 30 April 2020.}
- Look over your list of definitions of success. Think about each item on the list and how you feel about it. For instance, if success is winning a football championship, how will you feel if you do win?
- Write a few words that describe how you feel about each item. For instance, if you wrote “success is graduating,” you might write, “means I’m not a child anymore; makes me nervous about responsibilities.”
- Pay attention to signs of success that give you negative feelings. For example, if you listed financial security as a sign of success and you noted it makes you think of loneliness, you may want to explore why this is.
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3
Determine how fear is limiting you. Being honest with yourself about just how your fear of success is holding you back is one way to overcome it.^{[4]
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Research source} Take some time to think about specific ways in which your fear of success is limiting your potential and your future success.
- Write down examples of how you have sabotaged yourself. For instance, you might write, “I procrastinated on my report.”
- Also, write about what might have happened if you hadn’t let your fear hold you back. For example, you may write something like, “I could have gotten the raise and afford the vacation I want.” Take a moment to thoroughly visualize yourself succeeding. Positive visualizations may help to eliminate your fear.
- Sometimes people fear success because they think it will expose them as an imposter who isn't truly smart and competent. That sort of thinking prevents you from growing into a smart, competent person.^{[5]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Amy Wong
  Leadership & Transformational Coach
  Expert Interview. 30 April 2020.}
4
Declare defeat of your fear. Writing a short statement declaring that you aren’t going to let fear stop you from succeeding and reaching your goals any more is a concrete way to overcome your fear. Doing this can help you improve your self-confidence, as well as remind you that your fear of success doesn’t control your life.
- Write a sentence or two along the lines of, “I am not a victim of my fear. I am not afraid of success. I will be successful and I will enjoy it.”
- Read your statement out-loud on a regular basis. For instance, you might read it before work each morning or before a major presentation. You can also read your declaration to an accountability partner who can help keep you focused on your goal. You may be more likely to follow through with things if someone is holding you accountable.
- Reframe thinking about success to thinking about what you're appreciative of that you've created, accumulated, or accomplished. This can help remove your resistance to your fear.^{[6]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Amy Wong
  Leadership & Transformational Coach
  Expert Interview. 30 April 2020.}

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Improving Your Self-Confidence

1
Start journaling. Journaling is a great way to express your feelings, encourage yourself, and overcome your fear of success. Writing in your journal on a regular basis can help you identify specific fears as well as the strategies that help you overcome them. It’s also a way to document your successes and progress you are making in achieving them.
- Write about your successes, no matter how large or how small. For instance, if you’re elected to speak for your project group, write about it.
- Take it a step further and write a small statement expressing that you had nothing to fear from the success. For example, you might write, “I aced my test. I was afraid of doing well, but it feels good.”
- Write about other things going on in your life whether they are good or bad, big or small. Write about how you feel about these things.
- Try to write in your journal at least every few days or so.
2
List your strengths. One way to improve your self-confidence and remind yourself that you can succeed is to write down all of the good things about yourself.^{[7]
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Research source} Making a list of your strengths, skills, and talents can help you overcome feelings that you don’t deserve success or can’t achieve it.
- Include talents and skills you have such as playing an instrument, sports, cooking, typing, programming, singing, writing, dancing, etc.
- Put personality traits on the list as well. For instance, you might write, “my sense of humor, curiosity, empathy, loyalty.”
- Ask your close friends and family for strengths you might have overlooked. You might say, for example, “Will you look over my list of strengths and see if there’s anything I left off?”
3
Use positive self-talk. Part of your fear of success might be because of feelings that you don’t deserve success.^{[8]
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Research source} You can overcome these feelings and your fear of success by maintaining a positive, encouraging, and confident opinion of yourself.
- Each morning tell yourself, “I’m worthy of success. I can succeed and I deserve to succeed.” Make sure to include these positive affirmations in your journaling!
- Stop yourself when negative self-thoughts creep in. For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I can’t do this. I’m not good enough,” stop yourself and think, “No, I CAN do this and I AM good enough.”
- If you need to, refer to your list of strengths to find things to tell yourself.
4
Reward yourself. You can boost your self-confidence and begin to overcome a fear of success if you congratulate yourself and celebrate your achievements. Practice getting comfortable with success by telling someone about your achievement, however small. Acknowledge small achievements and any time you make an effort to succeed. This will help you become more comfortable with reaching your goals and realize that you have nothing to fear from success.
- Treat yourself to a cupcake and frozen yogurt if you finish the manuscript you’ve been working on even if you haven’t submitted it yet, for example.
- Or, for instance, you might reward yourself with a massage if you send your supervisor an email asking to discuss a promotion.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Stopping Self-Destructive Behavior

1
Prioritize your life. One reason some people fear success is because they feel that they may lose the important things in their life.^{[9]
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Research source} For example, you may fear you’ll have less time to spend with your family or that you won’t have time to participate in hobbies. But you can ease some of these fears if you take the time to determine what’s important to you and how to keep those things in your life.Prioritizing can help stop a fear of success by showing that you don’t have to sacrifice the things that are important to you.
- Make a list of things that are important to you. For example, you might write, “sailing, my family, kickboxing, the dogs, my career, and volunteering.”
- For each thing that you write, rank how important it is to you. For instance, family might come first, followed by the dogs, career, and so forth.
- Brainstorm a few ways that you can maintain your priorities. For example, you might write, “If I’m successful I can take more vacation time with my family.” Create a calendar to ensure that time is devoted to each of these priorities. Be flexible and adjust it over time, as you discover what works best for you. Time management is extremely important.
2
Chunk your work. Instead of thinking of responsibilities and obligations as large tasks, think of them as smaller chunks. Breaking things down into their smaller parts can help you overcome a fear of success by helping you to feel less overwhelmed by the things you have to do. Achieving success at your smaller tasks may seem less daunting than thinking about succeeding at the whole task.
- By breaking things down, you are achieving success bit by bit without realizing it.
- For example, instead of thinking that you have to complete an in-depth report, think to yourself, “First I just need to draft an outline of what will go into the report.”
- Or, for example, you might think “Being promoted doesn’t mean I’m responsible for the success or failure or the company. It means I need to make sure my department is productive as possible.”
3
Consider therapy. In some cases, the reasons you fear success come from your childhood, trauma, or deeper issues you need to work through. Professional therapists and counselors have experience, strategies, and techniques that can help you address these issues. Attending therapy also help you identify and address any self-destructive behaviors you have that are limiting your success.^{[10]
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Trustworthy Source
Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices
Go to source}
- Talk to your human resources representative, school counselor, or physician about where you can receive therapy. You might say, “I’d like some information on counselors and therapists in my area.”
- When you begin therapy you can share your notes about success with them. It might be helpful in showing them what you’ve already thought about, as well as major concerns in your life.
4
Avoid procrastination. One of the common ways people block their own success is by putting off doing important tasks until it’s too late. Procrastination is one behavior you’ll need to eliminate as you work to overcome your fear of success. Get organized and put procedures in place to help you stay on task and working towards your goals. Use an accountability partner if you struggle with self-discipline. Meet someone for a few hours of work and encourage this person to prompt you when you get off task.
- Use an agenda, calendar, or planner to keep track of your responsibilities and obligations. If possible, use something that you can keep with you, like a planner app on your electronic device.
- Set reminders and deadlines for important tasks and meetings. You may want to set several reminders for each task if you know you’re prone to procrastinate.
- Organize your physical space and materials so that you don’t have to waste time looking for the things you need.
5
Be mindful. This means being aware and accepting how you feel. It also means being aware and present in each moment.^{[11]
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Research source} Being mindful can help you accept your fear of success and actively overcome it each time it tries to hold you back.
- Try to focus on only doing one thing at time. It will be much easier to be mindful of how you’re feeling if you aren’t multitasking.
- When you start feeling uncomfortable, take the time to work through it instead of ignoring it or trying to make it stop. Ask yourself what about the situation is making you feel fearful.
- For example, if you’re working on a project, don’t watch TV while you’re doing it. That way you’ll notice if you start feeling anxious. And when you notice you can try to figure out why you feel anxious.

Expert Q&A

Question

Why do I have fear of success?

Amy Wong
Leadership & Transformational Coach
Amy Eliza Wong is a Leadership and Transformational Coach and the Founder of Always on Purpose, a private practice for individuals and executives looking for help in increasing personal well-being and success and in transforming work cultures, developing leaders, and improving retention. With over 20 years of experience, Amy coaches one-on-one and conducts workshops and keynotes for businesses, medical practices, non-profits, and universities. Based in the San Francisco Bay Area, Amy is a regular instructor at Stanford Continuing Studies, holds an MA in Transpersonal Psychology from Sofia University, a certification in Transformational Life Coaching from Sofia University, and a certification in Conversational Intelligence from CreatingWE Institute.

Amy Wong

Leadership & Transformational Coach

Expert Answer

Saying you fear success is very general and can mean anything for anybody. Try to get clear on what it is that you're truly afraid of by asking yourself what being successful would mean for you. Are you afraid of more money? Of there being more of a spotlight on you? Being afraid of success usually maps back to a negative belief about yourself that you're holding in.

Warnings

If you are abusing substances or doing things that may cause you or someone else, you should seek help as soon as possible. Not only will this limit your success, but it could also limit your health. Talk to your physician, school counselor, parents, or someone else you trust about what’s going on.

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