How to Be Less Scared at Night

When you're tired, you're less able to identify and dismiss illogical fears. The anxieties you normally keep under control sneak in, sometimes in new forms. You might be afraid of things you know are not real, or things you know are highly unlikely, such as burglars. You might find the dark, or the sense of solitude, particularly frightening. Learning to name your fears, comfort yourself, and get a good night's sleep will help you be less scared at night.

Method 1
Method 1 of 4:

Confronting Anxiety

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    Identify daytime stressors. Stress during the day can lead to anxiety and panic at night. Children and adults are more likely to be afraid at night if they are stressed by something in real life. Keep track of your mood during the day, writing down moments of stress and the place and time they occur. What thoughts bring them on?[1]
    • Are you especially stressed at work? At school? In social situations?
    • Sufferers of post-traumatic stress disorder are especially likely to experience fear at night, nightmares, and sleep disorders.[2] If you have survived a traumatizing experience, such as violence, abuse, or danger, ask for a referral to therapist who has worked with people with PTSD.
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    Name your fears. When you feel yourself getting scared at night, name the emotion. Say it aloud, if you feel comfortable doing so. Say, "I am scared," or, "I am anxious," or, "I am having a frightening thought." Next, state what brings it up. For instance, say "The shadow that the tree makes on my wall at night is frightening me," or say, "I feel vulnerable at night because I feel alone, and I worry that nobody is here to protect me."[3]
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    Address yourself by name. Speaking to yourself can help you calm down and regain control of your emotions. Using your first name instead of "I" or "me" can dramatically boost that effect. Give yourself simple, loving commands using your first name.[4]
    • You might say "Now, Jane, calm down. Get cozy. Pull the covers up and close those eyes. You know that's just the wind outside, and you know it always scares you."[5]
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    Keep a journal. Writing fears down can help you move past them. You can write down your fears in a "worry diary," or you can keep a regular journal in which you write about many things, including your fears. Try writing in your journal before bed, and include the things that are worrying you.[6]
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    Speak to a friend or family member. There is no need to suffer alone. Speaking to a loved one can help you clear your mind. Saying things out loud can be incredibly therapeutic. You may even get some helpful advice.[7]
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    Speak to a therapist. Nighttime anxiety is anxiety, and anxiety becomes harder to treat if left unaddressed.[8] Speak to your doctor about your fears, and ask for a referral to see a therapist. Talk to your doctor or therapist about your night fears, and ask for help with stress management.[9]
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Method 2
Method 2 of 4:

Building a Sense of Safety

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    Meditate or pray. Beside or in your bed, take some time to put your cares in the hands of the universe. If you pray, try talking a little about your fears when you pray. If you meditate, try thinking of nothing at all, or repeat a mantra such as, "I have fears, but they do not hurt me," or "I am safe; I am home." Sit so you are comfortable and take your time.[10] [11]
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    Breathe deeply. This can help you relax. As you breathe, concentrate on the feeling of the breath coming in and out of you. Feel which parts of your body rise and fall. Pay attention to your breath, and remind yourself to do so when you begin worrying about other things.[12]
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    Treat your bed like a safe space. Instead of getting scared at night and fleeing your bed, try treating your bed like an oasis. Dedicate your bed to relaxing and sleeping only. If you do anything in your bed other than sleep, make sure it is extremely calming. If you watch movies in bed, watch comforting ones. Save dramas and action films for the couch.[13]
    • When you get in bed to sleep, spend some time paying attention to your bed. Touch all the fabrics. Squeeze your pillows and pet your sheets. Get anchored in the present moment by letting yourself notice all the sensory information you are taking in.
    • Make your bed in the morning.[14]
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    Use a night light, but keep it low. If you are afraid of the dark, you might need to sleep with some sort of light on. Light disturbs your sleep, so pick a night light that turns itself off automatically. If you are afraid of waking up to pitch dark, choose a very dim night light, or try keeping a light on in the hall instead of in your room.[15]
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    Let comfort in. Feeling alone at night may be one of your biggest triggers. To remedy that, find ways of opening your room to others. If you live with other people, keep your bedroom door open at night. If you live alone, put up pictures of loved ones, and get in a phone call in the evening. If you have someone you can really rely on, like a parent, sibling, or best friend, ask them to call you at the same time every night.[16]
    • Sleeping with a pet nearby may help you feel safe. Some dogs and cats like sharing your bed. You may find that just having a pet in the house helps you feel less alone.
    • Sleep with a stuffed animal, a prized blanket, or an object that reminds you of a person you love.
    • Wear soft pajamas you feel good in.
    • Decorate your room with things you like to see, and remove anything that has the potential to frighten you at night.
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Method 3
Method 3 of 4:

Falling Asleep and Staying Asleep

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    Have a consistent bedtime routine. Going to bed the same way helps train your body to sleep, and can also train your body to begin to relax. Go to bed at the same time every night, and wake up at the same time every morning. Brush your teeth, use the bathroom, and do everything else to get ready in the same order every night.[17]
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    Guard against nightmares. You might be afraid at night because you have nightmares, which can make anything related to darkness and sleeping seem scary. To guard against nightmares, make sure you sleep long and hard. Adults should sleep seven to eight hours a night. Children and teenagers need closer to nine to eleven hours of sleep.[18]
    • Skip the nap. Infants and toddlers need roughly three hours of naptime during the day, but napping interferes with the sleep of adults, teenagers, and older kids.[19]
    • Use the bathroom before you sleep. Having an overfull bladder can cause nightmares.
    • Avoid eating food or drinking alcohol or caffeine near your bedtime. These can interfere with your sleep, and may provoke nightmares.[20]
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    Take a warm bath an hour or two before bed. This will warm up your body, which feels comforting. You will gradually cool off when you step outside of the tub. Your body temperature lowering will help put you to sleep. Stay cool. Don't pile on more blankets than you need. You might have trouble sleeping from being overheated.[21]
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    Stay active. Exercise helps you sleep, and also lowers your stress. Both these things help you avoid fears at night. Take a walk or go for a bike ride during the day. Don't exercise right before bed, as this will get your energy up and make sleeping difficult.[22]
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Method 4
Method 4 of 4:

Being Less Scared as a Kid

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    Go to bed at the same time every night. Sleep for nine to eleven hours every night. If you get enough sleep and have a regular bedtime, you will have an easier time falling asleep.[23]
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    Ask to be put to bed. Nobody is too old to be put to bed. Going to bed alone can make you feel lonely, and feeling lonely can make you feel afraid. Ask for a parent or guardian to sit with you and say goodnight. Ask them to read to you, sing to you, or just talk a little.[24]
    • Ask for a hug goodnight.
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    Do the same things every night. Having a bedtime routine helps your body relax. Try to get ready for bed and do something you like in the same order every night. You might want to brush your teeth, take a bath, and read a chapter of a book before you fall asleep.[25]
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    Don't watch scary movies. Scary movies, violent video games, and creepy stories can make you scared at night. That's what they're supposed to do! If you are getting scared at night, cut out the scary stuff. Never watch a scary movie or a violent video game at night.[26]
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    Imagine a relaxing scene. When you go to bed, close your eyes and picture a beautiful place. This could be your favorite real place, like a treehouse or a beach. It could be an imaginary place, like a castle or a magical forest. Imagine as many details of it as you can.[27]
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    Remind yourself that nightmares aren't real. If your fears come up, remind yourself that they are fears. Say, "That's not a ghost, that's my fear." Say, "I'm scared, but nothing is going to hurt me." Tell yourself to think about your beautiful scene instead.
    • If you are thinking about real life things that are scary, like people you love dying, say, "I get worried at night, but that doesn't mean the night is dangerous."
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    Have a cozy bed. Have a cozy bed with soft clean sheets and warm blankets. Keep your favorite stuffed animal or special blanket in your bed for comfort. You can put a night light in the hall or in your bedroom if you want. Ask for a special night light that turns off after a while, so it doesn't disturb your sleep.[28]
    • Stay in bed when you're scared. If you need help, call for help. Staying in bed will help you learn that your bed is safe.
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    Talk about it. You don't have to feel bad about being scared at night. Fear happens to everyone. Even grown ups need comfort to fall asleep. You can tell your family and friends when you are scared. If you wake up from a nightmare, you can ask for a hug before you go back to bed.
    • If you wake up from a nightmare, you might feel okay afterwards and just fall back asleep. Tell your parents about it in the morning.
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References

  1. ↑ http://www.aafp.org/afp/2000/0401/p2037.html
  2. ↑ http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/index.shtml#part_145373
  3. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356?pg=1
  4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201505/the-voice-reason
  5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201505/the-voice-reason
  6. ↑ http://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/adult_hmgad.pdf
  7. ↑ http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/stop-anxiety-quickly
  8. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/anxiety/basics/prevention/con-20026282
  9. ↑ http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/index.shtml#part_145376
  1. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/meditation/in-depth/meditation/art-20045858
  2. ↑ http://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/mindfulness-meditation-helps-fight-insomnia-improves-sleep-201502187726
  3. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356?pg=2
  4. ↑ https://sleepfoundation.org/sleep-tools-tips/healthy-sleep-tips
  5. ↑ https://sleepfoundation.org/bedroom/touch.php
  6. ↑ http://theweek.com/articles/473636/does-sleeping-nightlight-cause-depression
  7. ↑ https://sleepfoundation.org/bedroom/touch.php
  8. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/sleep/art-20048379
  9. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/expert-answers/how-many-hours-of-sleep-are-enough/faq-20057898
  10. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/expert-answers/how-many-hours-of-sleep-are-enough/faq-20057898
  11. ↑ http://mayoclinichealthsystem.org/locations/eau-claire/medical-services/neurodiagnostics/good-sleep-habits
  12. ↑ http://www.sleepdex.org/thermoregulation.htm
  13. ↑ http://mayoclinichealthsystem.org/locations/eau-claire/medical-services/neurodiagnostics/good-sleep-habits
  14. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/expert-answers/how-many-hours-of-sleep-are-enough/faq-20057898
  15. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/sleep/nightmare.html
  16. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/sleep/nightmare.html
  17. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/sleep/nightmare.html
  18. ↑ https://sleepfoundation.org/ask-the-expert/children-and-bedtime-fears-and-nightmares
  19. ↑ https://sleepfoundation.org/ask-the-expert/children-and-bedtime-fears-and-nightmares

About This Article

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
Co-authored by:
Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
Professional Counselor
This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. This article has been viewed 246,129 times.
22 votes - 69%
Co-authors: 61
Updated: June 12, 2022
Views: 246,129
Categories: Fear | Sleep Disorders

Medical Disclaimer

The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.

Article SummaryX

To be less scared at night, try sleeping with a night light on if you’re afraid of the dark. If you start feeling scared, breathe deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth, which will help you relax. Focus on the soft, snug bedsheets around you. Or, imagine a calm scene, like a beach, a treehouse, or a magical forest. You should also avoid watching scary things or playing stressful video games before bed, since this can keep you awake at night. For more tips from our co-author, including how to keep a good bedtime routine to help you fall asleep, read on!

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