How to Meet Singles on Facebook

Co-authored by Christina Jay, NLP and Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

Last Updated: October 21, 2021 References

Online dating can be frustrating, but you don’t have to go through a typical dating site to meet people. If you use Facebook, it’s easy to meet other singles on the site. Once you know how to identify potential matches, you’ll need to make a connection with them. It’s also a good idea to create a great profile and avoid behaviors that people find to be creepy.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Identifying Potential Matches

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Check your friends’ profiles if you’re interested in them. If one of your friends has caught your eye, then check to see if they’re single! Click on their page to check their relationship status. If it isn’t listed, scroll through their pictures and posts to see if they have a partner. If they appear to be single, you can start a conversation to make sure.
- For example, if the person posts a photo of themself at a baseball game, you could comment, “I had no idea you were such a baseball fan! We should get a group together and go to a game.” Their response can help you figure out if they really are single.
2
Peruse your list of “suggested friends.” Facebook has a feature that shows you a list of people you may know. Some of them could be singles you’ve encountered in real life through work, school, or your favorite activities. Since you already have a prior connection identified by Facebook, you have an “in” to contact them!^{[1]
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- Check out their profile to see if they’re single. If you think they may be a match, send them a friend request so you can start talking.
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3
Use Facebook’s “Discover People” feature to locate people near you. You can search by city, education level, and work history to find new people. This feature works best for finding people you’ve met before, but it can also show you everyone who lives in your area. This lets you “shop” through the results just like you would when online dating.^{[2]
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- Keep in mind that Facebook will show you both single and attached people. There is no filter for just singles.
- You can access this feature here: https://www.facebook.com/people/
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Connect through mutual friends. Keep an eye out for friends-of-friends who catch your eye. You can do this by looking at the photos your friends are tagged in, or perusing the profiles of friends you have a lot in common with, since their other friends may have similar interests to yours. If you see someone you like, you already have a connection to them -- your shared friend!^{[3]
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- Make group plans with your mutual friend and ask them to invite the person along.
- If the person you’re interested in comments on your mutual friend’s post, respond back and see if you can start a conversation.
- Try to interact with the person a few times, and then send a friend request.
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Use the search bar at the top of the site for key terms. You can search for single people, groups for singles, or even specific things you’re looking for in a mate. For example, you could search “photos of friends at Smokey’s Bar,” and Facebook will show you photos your friends took at that bar.^{[4]
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- You can also search for non-friends.
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Join Facebook groups in your area to meet people with similar interests. Most cities have a bunch of different Facebook groups for all kinds of topics. Groups dedicated to singles are your best option for meeting available people, and they’ll likely be more open to making a connection. However, you may also meet people by joining groups for people with similar interests, such as a filmmaking, hiking, or outdoor grilling.
- If a group is private, you can request to join. Most of these groups will let you in.
- You can access Facebook groups here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/
- If you don’t find a singles group for your area, then you can try to start one yourself!
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Use Facebook events to meet people in your area. With Facebook events, you can see what’s going on in your area and mark the event if you want to go. There’s also an area for discussion, which could help you connect with other people who are going.^{[5]
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- If you go to the events in your area, you could meet a few new friends, some of whom might be eligible singles!

Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Enhancing Your Profile

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Narrow your photos to those that best represent you. The best part of Facebook is that it lets you see real photos of people living their lives. It also doesn’t restrict how many photos you can post! Go through your profile and make sure that your best photos are featured. You should be putting your best foot forward!^{[6]
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- Feature photos that make you look attractive and interesting.
- Make sure that you have photos of you doing your favorite hobbies, such as playing a sport, painting portraits, hanging out with friends, or going to the beach.
- Delete, hide, or un-tag photos that don’t portray you well.
- Get rid of any ties to your exes.
2
Describe yourself in the “Intro” and “About Me” sections. Some people overlook these sections, but they let you share extra information about yourself. This could help you hook the person you’re crushing on! Provide a few sentences that summarize your personality, what interests you, and a cool fact about yourself.
- The “Intro” section is on the front of your profile page, right under your photo. Write, “I’m a tech-savvy brainiac who loves comic books, superhero movies, and anything with chocolate syrup. On weekends I fight robots.”
- In the “About Me” section, you can share a little about yourself under the “Details About You” section.
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Click on pages that you “like” to show what your interests are. Facebook shows the pages you “like” on your profile. That means you’ll need to go to the pages of bands, movies, books, sports teams, games, and other things that interest you and click the “like” button. When potential singles visit your page, they’ll be able to see these interests on your “About” page!^{[7]
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- You can add interests more quickly by going to your “About” page. Go to the category you want to enhance and then press the button to add more of that category. The button is in the top right corner of each section.

Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Making a Connection

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Comment on a photo or post. If you’re friends with the person, then you can comment on one of their posts. At first, make generic comments like, “Wow, your dog is so cute.” As you begin to interact more, you can leave more specific comments, such as, “I can always count on you for a good laugh.” The more you interact with the person, the closer you’ll get to a real relationship.^{[8]
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- You can also comment on shared or viral articles, opening you up to even more potential singles. This is a bit harder, but if you start an interaction with someone in the comments, you could send them a friend request and see what happens.
2
Add the person as a friend if they aren’t one already. If the person is a mutual friend or casual connection via a group or comment thread, send them a friend request after you’ve had an exchange with them. They may not accept the request, but you’ll never know if you don’t try.^{[9]
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- It’s a lot easier to make a connection if you’re “friends” with someone, so it’s worth the risk! Remember, you might not otherwise encounter the person again anytime soon.
3
Start flirting once you’ve established a back-and-forth interaction. If you’ve been commenting on their posts and getting a response from them either through replies or comments on your posts, then it’s time to flirt. Gently let them know that you're interested in them.^{[10]
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- For example, you could write, “You look stunning!” under one of their photos. You could also gently suggest a date idea, such as, “I have an extra ticket if you're interested in going to this week's game.”
- Don’t say anything overly suggestive.
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Send them a direct message. You could simply say “hello,” but it’s more effective to message them about something you have in common or have discussed in the newsfeed. The goal is to get them talking so that you can make a connection and eventually ask for a date.
- For example, you could send a message about a favorite band that you both enjoy. You could write, “Hey, I remembered that you love Pearl Jam as much as I do. I saw that they’re going to be in concert soon. Are you getting tickets?”
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Ask for a date. After you’ve been interacting with them for awhile and they seem responsive to you, it’s time to ask them out. If you’ve been discussing your similar interests with them, it’s a good idea to choose one of those. For example, you could go to a sporting event you both love or see the latest installment in a franchise you both follow.
- You can always ask them out as friends first.
- Consider starting with a group activity that includes mutual friends.

Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Avoiding the Creep Factor

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Don’t send lewd comments or photos to people. Not only will people be offended, they will likely report you for inappropriate behavior. Even if you think the person might like the lewd item, just don’t. This is not a good way to meet singles!^{[11]
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Pay attention to cues that the person wants you to back off. If the person never responds back to you, then they likely aren’t interested. Similarly, notice if the person is responding with comments like, “Lol, you’re such a stalker,” or “My boyfriend says I have nice eyes, too.” This means they likely aren’t interested in flirting. If this happens, move on.
- Signs they want you to move on include no response, dismissive responses, and direct mentions of other relationships or a lack of desire for a relationship.
- You should also notice if other people who comment under you seem weirded out by your comment. For example, if a friend says, “Do you know this guy?” then it might be time to move on.
3
Don’t “like” and comment on old photos and posts. It’s easy to accidentally hit “like” while you’re scrolling through a person’s old photos, but you should never intentionally do this. Not only is it embarrassing, but it may make them feel awkward. It’s normal to stalk a crush’s old photos, but don’t hit that button!^{[12]
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EXPERT TIP

Christina Jay, NLP
Matchmaker & Certified Life Coach
Christina Jay is a Matchmaker and Certified Life Coach based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Christina is the founder of Preferred Match (preferredmatch.ca), her matchmaking service that finds love for successful and elite individuals. She has over 10 years of coaching experience, earned her NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) certification through NLP Canada Training, and has a BA in Business Administration from Brock University.

Christina Jay, NLP
Matchmaker & Certified Life Coach

Our Expert Agrees: There's no harm in liking a few photos on your crush's page, but do so thoughtfully. If you bombard their page with hearts, you could scare them off.
4
Stay away from people who are in a relationship. If you know someone is in a relationship, back off. Even if you think their significant other is no good, that’s no reason to get between them. Respect the boundaries that people have in place.
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Take things slow. Just because you’ve got a steady interaction, that doesn’t mean you’re in a relationship. Don’t push things too far too fast, even if it’s just sending a sweet “Good Morning” text or wink emoji. Everyone has different comfort levels, and they may not be thinking of you that way yet. Let things develop organically, and it’s more likely that you’ll make a real connection.^{[13]
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- It’s a good idea to wait until after a date to send messages that you’d send to someone you’re dating.
- Keep the conversation casual. When in doubt, ask yourself if you’d send the message or comment to one of your other casual friends. If that would be weird, then don’t send the message.
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Block someone if they make you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes a person seems great, but your opinion changes once you get to know them. If someone sends you inappropriate messages, gets aggressive, becomes too clingy, or gives you any feelings of discomfort, use Facebook's blocking tool. You're under no obligation to continue talking to them, even if you started the relationship.
- If you find yourself dreading their messages, then it's time to block them.
- If you're unsure about what to do, talk to someone you trust. However, it's best to go with you gut. If something feels wrong, it probably is.