How to Make a Clean Comeback

Be relaxed, as usual. If you get angered when someone insults you, you somehow automatically lose your nerves. So listen carefully to their insult, and it'll come to you easier.

Don't overdo it. If you say something so complex and outrageous, no one will be impressed. Here's an example: say someone calls you fat. Don't say: "Well, I could use my belly to blow your skinny face into the ground." It just seems pathetic, trying to save face with humor. Instead, maybe try "Well it's better to be fat and happy rather than a stick like yourself."

Try to avoid saying "um" and "uh". All comebacks should flow perfectly. Try to avoid stuttering as well.

Be clever enough to make it so they can't think of another comeback to your comeback. Like someone says you're the stupidest person ever, you could say, "And why are you telling me this?" The only thing they could say after that is, "Cause you can't do anything good."

Put what they say to your advantage. This will help you get a comeback, and can embarrass your opponent as well! for example, if they say that you are disgusting, you can say "look who's talking" back.

Pretend to be in a hurry and say, "I don't have time for this." Maybe an even better comeback would be "I don't have time for immature viewpoints such as yours", then walk away. It leaves them in the dust. Be sure not to sound panicked like "Oh crap! Oh no, I don't have time for this!" Make it so you seem superior to them.

Don't use the same comebacks over and over again, even if it is good. That shouldn't have to be explained any better.

Don't totally change the subject. If they say your clothes sucks don't talk trash about their clothes. You'll sound desperate to have a comeback. Say it gets you where you need to go.