How to Make Friends at a New School

Co-authored by Ashley Pritchard, MA and Hunter Rising

Last Updated: January 31, 2023 References Approved

Are you enrolling at a new school? Being a new student can feel pretty nerve-wracking at first, but you have nothing to fear. There are tons of different ways to connect with your classmates, as long as you’re willing to take a leap of faith. We’ve put together some tips and suggestions to help you along the way!

1

Join a club or team.

After-school activities are chock full of potential friends. Look at your school’s club registry and see if any sports, clubs, or other activities really stick out to you. Joining a group activity is a great way to meet friendly, like-minded people.^{[1]
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- If you like to be active, you might sign up for an ultimate frisbee or field hockey team.
- If academics are important to you, you could join a debate club or study group.

2

Go to social events.

School dances and sports events are great ways to meet new people. Pay attention to your school’s calendar or morning announcement, and see what kinds of activities are coming up. Social events are a great way to feel like a part of the student body, and give you a great chance to mingle with new people.^{[2]
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- You might go to your school’s Friday night football game, or stop by the next school dance.

3

Use social media to your advantage.

Social media makes it easier to build connections with people from school. A quick comment, retweet, or message can be enough to spark the beginning of a new friendship. Someone at your school posted a video of a cool painting they're working on? Comment and let them know you love their technique. Or maybe a kid in your class shared a pic of themselves playing basketball over the weekend on Instagram. Tell them you love basketball too and ask where the best spots to play are. By putting yourself out there and being friendly, you might end up hitting it off with someone.^{[3]
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- Not everyone is going to respond or be interested, and that's okay! There could be a million different reasons why someone doesn't respond, so don't take it personally. There are always other people out there to connect with.

4

Approach someone sitting alone at lunch.

That person might be in the same boat as you are. Instead of joining a crowded table or scoping out an empty area for yourself, look for someone sitting by themselves. This is an easy, non-intimidating way to strike up a conversation with someone new.^{[4]
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- In the cafeteria, you might ask “Is this seat taken?” or “Can I sit with you?” before sitting down.
- You could also look for someone keeping to themselves in one of your classes.

5

Lend a hand.

Helping a classmate could be a great opportunity for friendship. You might help someone pick up their dropped textbooks and notebooks, or lend a pencil to a classmate in need. Being kind and considerate is a great way to separate yourself from the rest of the crowd.^{[5]
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- You might offer part of your lunch to someone who forgot their lunch money, or offer to deliver homework to a student who missed class.

6

Meet new people through friendship apps.

Unlike dating apps, friendship apps focus on making platonic friends. Download apps like Bumble BFF and Friender, which help “match” you with potential friends. If you prefer to go out and about, check out apps like “Meetup” or “Nearify” instead—these help you find out about activities and events in your area.^{[6]
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- Bumble BFF and Friender use the same “swipe” and “match” interface that popular dating apps use.
- If you aren’t a fan of face-to-face introductions, this could be a great option for you.

7

Sign up for an improv class.

Improv classes help you meet new people in a really unique way. Improv removes the stress and awkwardness of a school environment and replaces it with something fun and hilarious. Create and act out scenarios with lots of new potential friends, all while having a laugh.^{[7]
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- Search online to see what kinds of improv classes are in your area.

8

Make eye contact and smile.

You’ll seem more approachable to your new classmates if you look friendly. When you walk in the halls, hold your head up high and make eye contact with a few other people. Even if you don’t know the person, offer a kind smile to show that you’re positive and friendly. If they smile back at you, try saying hi or striking up a conversation so you can get to know them.^{[8]
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- Smiling will also boost your self-esteem so you feel better and more confident.

9

Introduce yourself.

Introductions are a classic but effective way to break the ice. Before jumping into a new conversation, say hi and offer your name first. A basic introduction is a great way to put yourself out there while also learning some new names and faces.^{[9]
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- You could say, “Hi, I’m Trish! I just transferred here. Is this seat taken?”

10

Offer a compliment.

Compliments are a great way to break the ice in a conversation. Your compliment doesn’t have to be super serious or profound—complimenting someone’s shirt, backpack, or something else simple is a great way to get a conversation going. Then, you can try to segue your compliment into a separate conversation.^{[10]
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- You might say, “I love your Ocean City sweatshirt! Do you go to the shore often?”
- You could also say something like, “I absolutely love your nails. Where did you get them done?”
- Compliments are an easy, stress-free way to strike up a conversation, especially if you’re worried about putting yourself out there.

11

Ask open-ended questions.

Yes or no questions won’t take a conversation very far. Instead, dive into some open-ended topics, like TV shows and hobbies. Ask your classmate a general, casual question about this topic. Then, offer a follow-up question once they answer you. Who knows—your question could lead to a nice, genuine conversation with a potential friend.^{[11]
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- You could ask, “What’s your favorite TV show?” Then, as a follow-up, say, “I’ve never heard of that one! What’s it about?”
- You might also chat about what they do in their spare time, or what their favorite class at school is.

12

Crack a joke.

Laughs are a sure-fire way to start a new friendship. We’re not talking about knock-knock jokes here—any funny quip or spur-of-the-moment joke will work. Humor is a great way to break the ice and make new connections.^{[12]
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- For example, you might joke, “With all this homework, I think the only sleep I’ll be getting is on the bus” or “The school cafeteria should be paying us to eat this food.”

13

Find common interests.

Pay attention to what your classmates do in their spare time. Are they reading a good book, or wearing a T-shirt for a popular band? These small details are all great jumping-off points, especially if you share that same interest. Use these common interests to strike up a conversation.^{[13]
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- You might comment on a person’s shirt or sweatshirt if it represents a specific sports team.

14

Listen attentively during your conversations.

Repeat details from a previous conversation in a future chat. This could be something mundane, like a trip they’re planning over a weekend or a test they have coming up. Then, the next time you chat with this person, ask them how their event or activity went. Remembering details is a great way to set yourself apart as a caring, genuine person.^{[14]
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15

Recognize your friendly qualities.

You’ll have an easier time making friends if you see yourself as a worthy friend. Write down some positive traits about yourself, and keep the list somewhere handy so you can refer to it anytime you’re feeling less confident. Once you see all of the good things you have to offer, you’ll feel a lot more comfortable going out and talking to some new people.^{[15]
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- A fun trick you can use for this is to think of your favorite celebrities. Write down qualities that both you and they possess to help you feel more confident.

16

Be yourself.

You don’t need to change who you are just to try to fit in. Do the things that you love and speak your mind. That way, your peers that have similar interests and feel the same way might feel more comfortable reaching out to you. If other students don't accept you for who you are, they probably won’t make great friends.^{[16]
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- Most people belong to certain social groups because their unique personalities and interests fall into a stereotype. For example, someone who is naturally athletic may become a jock in high school while someone who is naturally artistic will fit in with other artistic students.
- When you are looking for a friend, make sure they are nice and have things in common with you. Don't be their friend for any superficial reasons, such as popularity or money.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you help a socially awkward child?

Ashley Pritchard, MA
School Counselor
Ashley Pritchard is an Academic and School Counselor at Delaware Valley Regional High School in Frenchtown, New Jersey. Ashley has over 3 years of high school, college, and career counseling experience. She has an MA in School Counseling with a specialization in Mental Health from Caldwell University and is certified as an Independent Education Consultant through the University of California, Irvine.

Ashley Pritchard, MA

School Counselor

Expert Answer

Some schools have a peer leader program, where other students may help the child get to classes or introduce you to other people. Also, talk to teachers or the school counselor to help connect the child with other students.
Question

I was going to start a conversation, but I got nervous, and didn't know what to say. What are some good conversation starters?

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

Ask some open-ended questions! These are questions that require a long response, and not just a “yes” or “no” answer. You might ask something like, “What did you do over the weekend?” or “What’s your favorite class?”
Question

I’m going to a new school next year in 6th grade, and I’m nervous. I have only known my friends that I have now since kindergarten, back when I was not shy. What should I do?

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

It’s okay to be nervous! Focus on putting yourself out there, little by little. This can be something as simple as complimenting someone on their shirt, or asking if you can sit with someone at lunch. Joining clubs and sports teams is another great way to meet new people.