How to Make Friends With a Stray Cat

Co-authored by Molly DeVoss

Last Updated: July 19, 2021 References Approved

Stray cats are used to fending for themselves without human care or attention. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t befriend one. With patience, you can encourage a stray to trust you. Start by offering food and letting the cat get used to your presence, and you just might gain a new feline companion.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Getting Acquainted

1
Know what kind of cat you are dealing with. Before you begin to try making friends with a stray cat, make sure you can identify what kind of cat it is.^{[1]
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Research source}
- A free-roaming cat has an owner that takes care of it, but allows it to wander around on its own. You should probably not try and befriend a free-roaming cat; if you begin to feed it or let it in your home, it might abandon its owner.
- Other cats are strays. A stray cat is one that formerly had an owner, but the owner no longer takes care of it, or abandoned the cat. Stray cats may roam widely, taking food and shelter where it can find it. Some stray cats may be willing to make friends with you, or let you pick them up and take them to an animal shelter.
- Some cats are feral, meaning that they have spent all or nearly all of their lives outdoors and without any human care. Many feral cats were born and raised this way, returning to a nearly-wild state, preferring to stay away from people. Some feral cats are willing to make friends with you, but generally it is difficult to domesticate them.
2
Try to note the cat's condition. Because it has spent time outdoors and without regular care, your stray cat might be hungry, sick, scared, or injured. Some stray cats may be friendly, walk right up to you, and allow you to pick them up and inspect them. If the cat runs away or acts scared, however, you will have to entice it to stay around.

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3
Offer food. Letting a stray cat know that food is available is one of the most effective ways to start making friends with it. Pay attention to where you’ve seen the stray cat, and leave some food in the area.^{[2]
X
Expert Source

Molly DeVoss
Certified Feline Training and Behavior Specialist & Certified Cat Behavior Consultant
Expert Interview. 15 July 2021.}
- Strong-smelling foods like tuna or canned cat food make good choices.
- Leave food in the same spot everyday; this will make the cat come back and expect to treat.
- Observe when the cat comes and eats the food you have left outside for it. After a few days, wait near the food, and see if the cat will come and eat while you are within sight.
- Don’t try to pet or pick up the cat at first.
4
Approach the cat. Try waiting near the cat as it eats over the course of a few days. Once it seems very familiar with your presence, you can try to approach it. Move slowly, and sit on the ground. This will make you look less intimidating. Try this again and again for several days, moving a little closer to the food each time.
- You could also let the cat approach you on its own timeframe and comfort level.^{[3]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Molly DeVoss
  Certified Feline Training and Behavior Specialist & Certified Cat Behavior Consultant
  Expert Interview. 15 July 2021.}

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Making Contact

1
Avoid confrontational behavior.^{[4]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
Leading organization dedicated to the prevention of animal cruelty
Go to source} Avoid staring the cat in the eye or trying to reach for it when you first see it. These gestures can be perceived as threatening, especially for cats that are not used to being around people. Act calmly and quietly, and focus on getting the cat to trust you.
2
Play hard to get.^{[5]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
Leading organization dedicated to the prevention of animal cruelty
Go to source} If your stray cat is comfortable enough to let you be near it, pretend like you are ignoring it. Let it see you engaged in a non-threatening activity, such as reading or gardening. If you are lucky, the stray cat will observe you and learn that you are also not threatening.
3
Leave treats on the ground.^{[6]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
Leading organization dedicated to the prevention of animal cruelty
Go to source} Once the stray cat is used to you leaving food for it to eat, you can also try scattering treats (such as tuna flakes or cubes of chicken) on the ground between you and the cat.
- You can also plant catnip in the area.^{[7]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Molly DeVoss
  Certified Feline Training and Behavior Specialist & Certified Cat Behavior Consultant
  Expert Interview. 15 July 2021.}
4
Entice the cat to eat from your hand.^{[8]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
Leading organization dedicated to the prevention of animal cruelty
Go to source} If the cat comes near you, try holding a treat in your hand. The stray may feel comfortable to eat out of your hand, or it may not. In either case, do not attempt to pet or pick up the cat at first. Be patient; it takes time, sometimes weeks or more, for a stray or feral cat to begin to trust you.
- You can also try letting the cat lick a small amount of soft or wet food from your finger.
5
Try to pet the cat.^{[9]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
Leading organization dedicated to the prevention of animal cruelty
Go to source} Once the stray cat becomes used to eating out of your hand, you can begin to try touching it. While feeding it a treat with one hand, calmly try to gently touch the cat with your other hand. If the cat acts startled and moves away, do not try to grab it. Wait a little while and try and try again.
- If the cat will not let you touch it at first, just try to bring your hand close to it. Repeat this technique over and over again, bringing your hand a little closer to the cat each time, until it lets you touch it.
6
Offer the cat toys if it will not let you touch it.^{[10]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
Leading organization dedicated to the prevention of animal cruelty
Go to source} Some stray cats will respond more quickly to play that to being touched or held. If your stray cat does not seem to want to be touched, try playing with it using toy such as a laser pointer, wind-up mouse, or wand toy with feathers, ribbons, or other objects attached to it. If your cat plays with the toy, even if it won’t let you touch it or pick it up, it is a sign that it is growing accustomed to you.
7
Don’t touch an animal that seems fearful or upset.^{[11]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
Leading organization dedicated to the prevention of animal cruelty
Go to source} Stray and feral cats might be very conditioned to defend themselves. If yours reacts negatively when you try to touch or approach it, leave it alone and try later. A scared cat can become violent, and trying to handle it will only make it distrust you. Signs that a cat is scared or upset include:
- Tail held straight up and stiff
- Ears folded back
- Paw raised, with or without exposed claws
- ”Striking” with its paw
- Low meowing or growling
- Hissing or spitting
- Hair raised on end
- Arched back

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Helping the Cat

1
Determine if the cat has an owner.^{[12]
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Trustworthy Source
Best Friends Animal Society
Nonprofit animal welfare organization dedicated to saving animal lives by operating and supporting no-kill animal shelters
Go to source} If you think that the cat is a stray, you might try to reconnect it with its owner.
- If the cat has a collar or tag, check and see if it has a name, address, or phone number on it.
- A vet can check to see if there is a microchip implanted in the cat that stores information about the owner.
- If you can’t find any information about the owner, you can also try posting an advertisement with the cat’s picture at various places in your neighborhood, local animal shelters, online classifieds, etc. in hopes that the owner will track down the cat.
2
Take the cat with you. If you are trying to take the cat home with you, to a vet, or to an animal shelter, you will need to entice it into a cat carrier. After the cat has become used to you leaving food out for it, try the following technique:
- Set the carrier near the food with the door open.
- Place food near the carrier to draw the cat near it.
- Place food nearer and nearer the carrier, if the cat will move closer to it.
- Place food inside the carrier and wait for the cat to step in and begin eating it.
- Once the cat is fully inside, close the door quickly but gently.
- Carefully carry the cat to its destination.
3
Take the cat to the vet. If you decide to “adopt” a stray cat, take it to a vet as soon as possible so that it can be checked for fleas, ticks, worms, and other parasites, have its general health assessed, and receive any vaccines that it needs.^{[13]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
Leading organization dedicated to the prevention of animal cruelty
Go to source}^{[14]
X
Research source}
4
Consider practicing trap and release. Most animal advocacy groups recommend the policy of TNR (trap, neuter, and release) for feral and stray cats.^{[15]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
Leading organization dedicated to the prevention of animal cruelty
Go to source} This is considered a humane way of controlling stray cat populations. You can ask your vet or an animal shelter to spay or neuter your cat, and then release it back outdoors once it has recovered. You can even continue to feed the stray.
5
Help your cat adjust to life in a new home. If you decide to permanently adopt the stray and invite it into you home, you will need to be patient and understanding; returning to indoor life can be difficult for many former strays.^{[16]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
Leading organization dedicated to the prevention of animal cruelty
Go to source}
- Keep the cat in a quiet room at first, where it won't be disturbed.
- Make sure that the cat has food, water, a place to bed, and a litter box.
- You might need to use garden soil in the litter box at first, then a mix of soil and litter, before using just litter. This will help the stray adjust to the texture.
- Visit the cat regularly. Offer it treats, talk to it soothingly, and try playing with some toys. Pet the cat if it will let you, but leave it alone and come back later if it acts scared or aloof.
- There is a good chance that the cat will feel comfortable soon, and be ready to leave its room and explore your home. Be patient, however, as the cat might get startled and hide in various places, scratch furniture, or knock things over as it gets used to its new surroundings.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you get a stray cat to approach you?

Molly DeVoss
Certified Feline Training and Behavior Specialist & Certified Cat Behavior Consultant
Molly DeVoss is a Certified Feline Training and Behavior Specialist (CFTBS), a Certified Cat Behavior Consultant (CCBC), a Fear Free Certified Trainer (FFCT), and the Founder of Cat Behavior Solutions. Molly specializes in using positive reinforcement to modify and prevent unwanted behaviors in cats and reduce cat shelter surrender. Molly has sat on the Dallas Animal Advisory committee since 2013 and was voted one of the Top 12 Extraordinary Cat Behaviorists of 2020 by Catpetclub.com. She is certified by both the Animal Behavior Institute and the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants. She is also the host of the weekly podcast Cat Talk Radio.

Molly DeVoss

Certified Feline Training and Behavior Specialist & Certified Cat Behavior Consultant

Expert Answer

Give the cat regular meals and let them approach you on their own timeframe and comfort level.
Question

How do you get a stray cat to trust you?

Molly DeVoss
Certified Feline Training and Behavior Specialist & Certified Cat Behavior Consultant
Molly DeVoss is a Certified Feline Training and Behavior Specialist (CFTBS), a Certified Cat Behavior Consultant (CCBC), a Fear Free Certified Trainer (FFCT), and the Founder of Cat Behavior Solutions. Molly specializes in using positive reinforcement to modify and prevent unwanted behaviors in cats and reduce cat shelter surrender. Molly has sat on the Dallas Animal Advisory committee since 2013 and was voted one of the Top 12 Extraordinary Cat Behaviorists of 2020 by Catpetclub.com. She is certified by both the Animal Behavior Institute and the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants. She is also the host of the weekly podcast Cat Talk Radio.

Molly DeVoss

Certified Feline Training and Behavior Specialist & Certified Cat Behavior Consultant

Expert Answer

Feed the kitty regularly and plant catnip in your hangout spot. When the weather gets cold, provide a heated cat den for them.
Question

Can you tame a stray cat?

Melissa Nelson, DVM, PhD
Veterinarian
Dr. Nelson is a Veterinarian who specializes in Companion and Large Animal Medicine in Minnesota, where she has over 18 years of experience as a veterinarian in a rural clinic. She received her Doctor of Veterinary Medicine from the University of Minnesota in 1998.

Melissa Nelson, DVM, PhD

Veterinarian

Expert Answer

It can be done especially if the stray was already a pet and used to people. If not (a true feral cat) it really depends on the cat's temperament.