This article was co-authored by Imad Jbara and by wikiHow staff writer, Madeleine Criglow. Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
This article has been viewed 17,082 times.
If you like a girl, you want to know if she's taken before making your move. Nearly everyone knows what it's like to spend time crushing on someone only to find out that they're already in a relationship. That's why it's ideal to find out if a girl is dating someone before falling head over heels in love. Thankfully, there are a lot of ways you can do that. Read on for some tips, from flat out asking her to adopting a more subtle approach.
Steps
Ask questions about her life.
-
If she has a partner, they'll come up in conversation pretty fast. Ask her questions about what she likes to do for fun and how she spends her free time. If she doesn't mention a partner, try asking more leading questions. Ask her about her plans for the holidays or whether she lives with roommates.[1] X Expert Source Imad Jbara
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 5 November 2019. [2] X Research source- Someone who's in a happy, committed relationship will probably bring up their partner when answering these questions, especially if they live with them or plan on taking a vacation together over the holidays.
- If she says that she's hanging out with her friends or visiting her family by herself for the holidays, there's a good chance that she's single.
Talk to her about the future.
-
This may seem indirect, but it can help you find out fast. Ask about her future goals, like if she wants to stay in the city you live in or move to a new place one day. If she's seeing someone already, she'll likely bring them up in those plans.[3] X Research source
- Ask her something like, "Where do you see yourself living in five years?" or "Do you think you'll ever want to travel in the future?"
- If she makes no mention of a partner when she talks about the future, that's a sign that she's not seeing someone at the moment. There's also a possibility that she and her partner just live really independent lives.
Pay attention when she mentions her schedule.
-
Notice if she says that doesn't have any plans for the weekend. If she's always bringing up her open schedule, that's a sign that she's not in a relationship (and maybe even wants to spend time with you). You don't want to read into something that's not there, but if she never brings up dating and has a lot of extra free time, that's a pretty good indication that she's not in a relationship.[4] X Research source
- If she's always spending time with another person and brings them up often, they may be an item.
Take a look at her social media presence.
-
Instagram can give you all the clues you need. Check her social media pages, like Instagram and Facebook, for pictures of her significant other. If there's a bunch of pictures of her with the same person (along with heart emojis and a caption that reads "My forever love"), she's probably taken.[5] X Research source
- It's not used quite as often as it once was, but someone's relationship status on Facebook can also be a good indicator. Check her status to see if she's in a relationship, engaged, or married.
- Friend request or request to follow the girl you like on social media if you don't already follow her. Even if she's in a relationship, there's no harm in becoming friends!
Read her body language.
-
Open, comfortable body language can be an indication that she's single. If she keeps her distance when you talk or is a little more guarded about physical touch (i.e. she waves instead of greeting you with a hug), it may be because she's already seeing someone. It's also possible that she's simply shy or uninterested.[6] X Research source
- If she leans towards you, makes direct eye contact, or even touches you when you talk to each other, that may be a sign that she's not in a relationship at the moment (and potentially interested in you).
Flirt with her subtly if she shows attraction towards you.
-
This can be a good, indirect way to gauge if she's seeing anyone. Try playfully teasing her, complimenting her, or bringing up any inside jokes that you may have. If she reciprocates by teasing you back, blushes and smiles at your flattery, or laughs along with you, she may be single. She's likely in a relationship or not interested if her response is merely polite and guarded. She may even tell you that she's seeing someone.[7] X Research source
- Try not to overdo it. If you think she may be in a relationship, don't try your most over-the-top pickup line. Try subtle compliments, like, "You look really nice today" or "I missed seeing you in class the other day."
- Don't go over the top, since this person might not be interested in you.
Check if she's wearing a wedding ring.
-
This is a quick giveaway to find out if she's in a relationship. If you're old enough to get married, take a subtle look at her left ring finger next time you talk to each other. A ring is a pretty foolproof indication that she's in a relationship and, most likely, will be for a very long time.
- If she's not wearing a ring, that doesn't necessarily mean that she's single or even unmarried. Some people just choose not to wear wedding rings.
Talk to her friends.
-
This is a great option if you have mutual friends. Next time you're talking to friends of the girl that you like, casually ask if she is seeing anyone. If you're not comfortable, you don't have to mention why you want to know. Tell them that you're just curious.[8] X Research source
- Try something like, "I noticed Claire didn't go to the party with anyone last week. Is she seeing someone right now?"
- Be aware that they'll probably tell her that you asked. If she's single, that may even help your chances.
Ask her directly.
-
This may be the quickest way to find out. If you're feeling bold, go ahead and ask her if she's seeing someone. Though it may be a nerve-wracking question to ask, try to relax. She'll more than likely appreciate your direct approach (as long as you ask her respectfully), and you'll know for sure as soon as she answers.[9] X Research source
- Try something simple and to the point, like, "Are you seeing someone right now?" or "Are you dating anyone at the moment?"
- If she is in a relationship, don't say anything negative or make her feel bad about that. Just be polite and change the subject to something else, like your plans for the weekend or a mutual interest of yours.
- Know when you shouldn't ask this question. Don't ask a coworker about their relationship status during work, for example. Wait for her to tell you or use a more subtle approach to avoid putting her on the spot or making her uncomfortable.
You Might Also Like
References
- ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.lovearoundme.com/blog/8-ways-to-ask-someone-if-they-are-single.html
- ↑ https://hernorm.com/how-to-ask-if-someone-is-single/
- ↑ https://youtu.be/C5WNr5vzUPs?t=97
- ↑ https://www.lovearoundme.com/blog/8-ways-to-ask-someone-if-they-are-single.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201607/5-nonverbal-clues-someone-is-interested-in-you
- ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/13-facts-about-flirting-single-and-married-people-should-know-a7164236.html
- ↑ https://www.lovearoundme.com/blog/8-ways-to-ask-someone-if-they-are-single.html
- ↑ https://hernorm.com/how-to-ask-if-someone-is-single/