How to Know if Your Girlfriend Is Ready to Kiss You

Co-authored by Cher Gopman

Last Updated: March 11, 2023 References Approved

Kissing a girl can be nerve-wracking, especially if you don't know if she's ready for a kiss! Luckily, there are ways you can figure out whether or not she wants a kiss. Although no tip is foolproof, at least you’ll have a better idea of whether it’s welcome before you make the move.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Studying her Face

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Watch her eyes.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} You should be able to tell a lot about your girlfriend's desire to kiss you from her eyes. They don't say the eyes are the windows to the soul for nothing.
- If she looks you directly in the eye, she is probably establishing intimacy and is at least open to kissing you. Although eye contact is almost always a positive sign, remember that sometimes people look down or away because they are shy or nervous. Still, if she is not looking at you, that's a warning sign that she's not open to a kiss.^{[2]
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- Women will give you more submissive looks in some cases when they want to be kissed, such putting the chin down and subtly looking down.
- Slightly narrowing the eyes is a pose that many women go into when they are waiting for a kiss.
- Are her pupils dilated and are her eyes widening? If so, these are signs that she is enjoying being around you, so she is probably open to a kiss.
2
Look at her lips. Women prepare their lips for a kiss. So if you want to know if she wants to kiss you, zero in on her mouth.
- Is she biting her lip or licking her lips? These could be signs that she is trying to moisten them for a kiss.
- If she is pursing her lips or they look hardened, this is a bad sign. She is closing herself off to you. ^{[3]
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- If she's applied lip gloss recently, or freshened her breath, this could mean she wants her lips to look desirable to you, in the hopes you will kiss them. This is especially true if you can tell she's reapplied them (say when you went to the bathroom). ^{[4]
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- If she's looking at YOUR lips, it probably means she is thinking about kissing them.
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3
Pay attention to her nose. This might sound odd, but research has shown the nose can give away signals of desire - often without her realizing it.
- If her nostrils are flaring slightly, she probably wants a kiss. Physically, flaring the nostrils means she is taking in more air because she is preparing for physical activity. ^{[5]
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- You need to take this one in context. If she's in the middle of an argument with you, the physical activity her body is preparing her for might not be in your favor.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Interpreting her Other Body Language

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Watch her posture. Posture can be very revealing. Much of communication is made up of non-verbal cues. Sometimes people don't even realize they are communicating this way.
- If she is learning into you or toward you, even slightly, it probably means she is more open to a kiss.
- On the other hand, if she is leaning away, that's a bad sign. You should also pay attention to the direction her feet are pointing. If they are pointing away from you, it could be a sign she is looking for a chance to leave.
- Does she move away when you move slightly toward her? This is a test you can use to measure her body language interest in kissing you. Subtly create more of a zone of intimacy and see if she complies or moves away to diminish it.
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Study her hands. Women will use their hands to touch things or show femininity if they want you to kiss them. ^{[6]
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- If a woman plays with her necklace, she's probably into you. But you should take this act in context. If she also has other body language that is open to you, that's a better sign because sometimes a woman is just nervous.
- If a woman is playing with or twirling her hair, it's a sign she wants you to find her attractive and is flirting with you.^{[7]
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  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
- If she touches something else, like a glass (running her fingers over it), in even a somewhat sensual way, that's a good sign.
3
Wait for her touches. If she has touched you recently, even in small ways, this could be her way of creating more intimacy in the hopes you will kiss her.
- Even the slightest of touches show desire. That means it's a good sign if she brushes her hand against your knee or arm.
- Touch probably means she wants to get closer to you. It's an even better sign if she touches your face.
- If she softly, playfully hits you on the arm, she is trying to create a playful vibe with you, which is a way that women flirt. ^{[8]
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- You could test her out by touching her slightly first to see how she responds. For example, brush your feet against hers under the table and see what she does. Another technique is to touch a piece of jewelry she has lightly (earrings, necklace), and say you admire it. If she smiles and is OK with you moving closer into her space, that's a good sign.
4
Spot whether she has open body language.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} When taken together, is her body language closed or is it open? If she has open body language, she is not trying to erect barriers between you.
- Signs of open body language include arms at the side, body tilted toward you or facing you, eye contact, feet pointed toward you.
- Signs of closed body language include arms crossed over chest, feet or legs crossed, feet pointing away from you, body tilted away from you, and minimal eye contact.
- How much personal space is she leaving between you? If it's not much, she's already open to an intimate connection with you on some level. This is a good sign for you.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Learning Other Kissing Tricks

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Consider how she talks to you. Does she seem like she wants to keep the conversation going? It's a good sign for you if she does.
- Is she asking you a lot of questions? Are they deep and personal? If the answers are yes, she probably wants a more intimate connection with you.
- Are you making her laugh? Laughing at your jokes (especially if they are not very funny) is a way that women flirt.
- Is she trying to keep the conversation going by being the one to ask questions or lead or direct the conversation? That's a good sign. It's a bad sign if she lets the conversation wither into silence between you or you feel like you're doing all the heavy lifting to keep it going.
2
Try the triangular kissing technique. There are some techniques you can use to build sexual tension, while monitoring how she responds and communicates back.
- Move close to her and touch her, either her hands or legs. Slow down your breathing and words.
- Look at her right eye. Hold the look for a few seconds, then move your gaze to her left eye. Pause again. Now, move your gaze and hold it on her mouth. She should be more receptive to a kiss (as long as she hasn't moved away!)
3
Spot the window of opportunity. Women you've just met will often give you a short window of opportunity for a kiss. This can be a tricky balancing act. This will be easier if she's already your girlfriend because you will be able to spot the signs more readily.
- A woman you've just met is also testing you. You need to give her signs that you like her when she seems receptive to you, otherwise she may feel rejected or insecure and start to pull away and try to make you chase her.
- If you miss the window of opportunity, she may think you lack confidence or aren't interested in her. But if you try to kiss her before it opens, she might think you're boorish or too aggressive. So monitoring body language matters.
4
Handle her moving away. You should always be prepared for the worst: What if you try to move closer or touch her slightly, and she moves away? Maybe she's just tired or not in a good mood. Who knows? You don't want to make it worse with a bad response. Timing is everything.
- Act like nothing has occurred. Basically, show that you're not thrown off. You could even make a confident quip about her being cute when she's shy.
- Don't act angry or insecure. That's not appealing to women. Maybe she's interested in you but just not ready for a kiss yet. In that case, you could work on building more common ground and intimacy- slowly. Abandon your idea for a kiss right now and instead focus on having a great conversation with her, and remember to throw in some compliments! (Women love that.)

Expert Q&A

Question

Is it okay if I ask for permission before kissing my girlfriend?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Absolutely. You should always ask for someone's consent before doing anything physical.