How to Invite a Girl to the Prom

Last Updated: March 22, 2021

Have an eye on that special girl you want to ask to the prom? Not only will asking a girl to a prom be a magical experience for both involved, but it can make a girl feel great knowing that someone wants to go with her to such a special occasion. There are some steps you can take to make this a really memorable invitation.

Sample Ways to Ask

Ways to Ask a Girl to a Dance

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Setting the Stage

1
Find out if she has a date for the prom already. If she does, it's just better to back off. You may not think so, but asking her when you know she has a date is pretty much self-sabotage: your chances of her agreeing (changing her mind) are next to none.
- Look at her behavior. If you don't want anyone to know that you've been asking about her, it might be a good idea to just wait and watch. Girls are usually pretty vocal about their dates. You should be able to tell if she has a date.
- Ask her friends, or get a friend to ask her friends. Asking her friends will probably tip your cards: the girl will eventually find out, but that could be a good thing. To avoid this, get one of your friends to ask one of her friends. Sneaky!
- Ask her yourself. If you're super direct and don't think you'll worry about the consequences, ask her straight up. Just say: "Just wondering, do you have a date to the prom?"
  - If she says "no" and seems a little shy about it, looking at you expectantly, go right ahead and ask her. If she says "no" but goes on talking about how she has to find one soon, looking a bit disinterested, maybe wait a little.
- If you are already friends with her,ask her who she's going with, like you assume she already has one. This means you can often slide this into normal conversation without her necessarily suspecting that you are going to ask her.
  - If she's got someone to go with, she'll say who and you won't embarrass yourself
  - If she hasn't,she will say so and this means you can get onto Phase Two...
    - If she does realise you want to go with her, she'll probably be flattered that you assumed that she had a date as you must think of her as an attractive person to think that she already has one! ;)
2
Become friends with her if you aren't already. She's more likely to take someone to the prom if she knows them. Take every opportunity you can get without hounding or smothering her: science projects, sitting next to one another at lunch, inviting her to a party you're going to, etc. Look at every social opportunity as a way to better get to know her.
- Try to be casual when you talk to her. It's really hard to do when you like someone, granted, but remind yourself that the stakes aren't high at the end of the day. If you ask her and she says "no," it's not the end of the world. You'll end up asking and taking another girl, who could end up being more special at the end of the day.
- When you talk to her, try asking questions about her. People like having the chance to talk about themselves, their interests, and their aspirations. Focus on her in the beginning and the conversation will naturally shift to you after some time.
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3
Flirt with her a little. You'll help your chances with her if she begins to see you as a romantic interest. You can start becoming a romantic interest by starting to flirt, slowly but surely. Everyone flirts differently, but there are a couple of flirting basics that every guy should know.
- Compliment her from time to time. Compliment aspects of her personality, and occasionally, her looks. When complimenting her looks, stay away from the really feminine areas and stick to:
  - Eyes. "Your eyes match the color of your shirt. Were you going for that?"
  - Smile. "Your smile absolutely lights up the room. Every time!"
  - Style. "I really like your style. I think a lot of other girls secretly envy it, too."
  - Hair. "Your hair looks good when you put it up. I like what you did with it."
- Slowly break the touch barrier. Get used to making contact with her slowly and at her pace. Girls don't like guys who are constantly touching them every time they talk, so it's a tricky balancing act for you. Focus on:
  - Touching her hand, arm, shoulder, and back while making points in conversation. If you don't know her at all, wait a bit until you start breaking the barrier.
  - Not going for threatening or sensitive areas, such as the thighs, stomach, and neck. There are strictly off-limits until you're dating.
  - Playfully touching her after you've grown closer. You can try tickling her, for example, if you're giving her a hard time. Be sure she's in a playful mood before you do this.
4
Hang out with other girls. Girls like guys who can impress other girls. For one, it tells them that you're trusted by other girls. Second, it lets them know that other girls think you're interesting. Hanging out with other girls will subconsciously let your potential date know that you are eligible material. And that's a good thing.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Asking Her

1
Try asking her in person. Asking her in person will establish a real, physical connection between the two of you, and will give you a better shot of getting a "yes" from her. That's because, for better or for worse, it's a lot harder to reject someone in person. If you can summon up the courage to ask her in person, you'll increase your chances of getting the answer you'd hoped for.
- If you can't ask her in person, think about writing a letter and slipping it to her. Make it romantic without being gushy. You want to let her know that you like her, but you don't want her to think that you're creepy and have been obsessing over her for months. Give it to her in person, or slip it in her locker.
- As a last resort, ask her over IM or text. Neither option is really ideal, but sometimes life throws you a curveball. Try asking her point blank if she has a prom date. If she doesn't, go in and ask her. Beware, however: your chances of success over IM or text are a lot lower than asking in person or even a letter.
2
Look presentable. She may not want to go to prom with you if you have bad breath, unkempt hair and/or oily skin. Don't change yourself too much to please her, but remember to be hygienic:
- Brush your teeth every morning, before school, but especially before you ask her out. You want fresh breath when you talk to her.
- Shower if you're dirty. If you have rowing or soccer practice before school, for goodness sake, don't skip out on the morning shower. Cleanliness is next to godliness, remember?
- Don't lay it on thick with the cologne. Contrary to popular belief, spraying yourself with massive amounts of cologne is not a winning proposition in her eyes. One spray at most, or better yet — let your natural cleanliness shine.
- Dress to impress. You don't have to wear a suit and tie when you ask her, but you do want to put your best foot forward. Look really nice without looking like you walked straight out of the '50s.
3
Smile at her when you make eye contact. You smile when you're happy; but did you know that smiling can also cause you to be happy? Researchers have found that smiling can actually improve your mood organically, and make painful moments less painful.^{[1]
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Research source} A happier you usually means a happier her. And if that doesn't make your chances better, what will?
4
Be yourself, breathe deeply, and relax. If you're normally a funny guy, don't play it super serious all of a sudden. If you're normally a serious guy, don't try to be a regular jokester. Nerves will probably keep you from asking her the exact way you had planned on asking her, but it's usually not as bad as we think it is.
- Put the situation in terms of risk and reward. You want low risk and high reward, and that's exactly what you're getting. (You should be a betting man.) The risk is that she'll say "no." You'll be embarrassed for an hour, and then you'll move on. The reward is that she'll say "yes," and you don't need to read on to go down the list of why that's good!
5
Ask her. This is the moment you've been waiting for. Depending on your personality, you ask her in a variety of ways. Here are some ideas for you to build on:
- Be inventive. Especially for girls who you're closer to, or perhaps expect you to ask them, try:
  - Lighting up candles on her driveway that spell "Prom?" Be there when she steps outside.
  - Write "Prom" on a piece of paper, laminate it, and then break it up into a puzzle. (Alternately, you can buy pre-broken puzzle pieces to write on.) Give it to her to assemble.
  - Make your own soda label asking her out to prom. Then tape the label onto a bottle of soda and give it to her.
- Be direct. These are more emotionally-driven ways to ask a girl out to prom. They're the oldest trick in the book, and that's because they work really well:
  - "I know we're just friends right now, but there isn't anyone else that I'd rather take to prom. Will you go with me?"
  - "I've been meaning to ask you this for a while now, but I get so tied up around pretty girls. Will you go to prom with me?"
  - "I've been waiting for this day for a while now. And unless I just go out and say it, I'll probably not say it directly enough: will you go to prom with me?"
6
Accept rejection in stride. We all deal with rejection. If you've never been rejected, you're not trying enough. If your hopeful date turns out to be not so hopeful herself, don't get angry, sullen, or try to debate her. She probably has good reasons for choosing her answer, and if she doesn't, you probably didn't want to go to prom with her in the first place.
- Try to put a smile on your face, look her in the eyes, and say something like: "That's totally fine, I understand. I hope we can still stay friends." You never know what plain old decency could get you.

Expert Q&A

Question

What tips do you have for slow dancing with someone?

Hebert Aguilar
Professional Dancer & Choreographer
Herbert Aguilar is a Professional Dancer, Choreographer, and the Director of Timba Heat Dance Company. With more than a decade of experience, he specializes in performing and teaching dance styles such as Cuban Salsa, Hip-Hop, and Acrobatics. Hebert has performed at a variety of venues and locations including San Francisco, Washington, Hawaii, and Miami.

Hebert Aguilar

Professional Dancer & Choreographer

Expert Answer

The best thing to do is feel the connection with your partner by simply doing a two-step or a side-to-side rocking motion. This will get you two moving and ease the awkward tension of standing there doing nothing. The biggest thing to do is to smile and have fun!
Question

What are some dances you can do to impress a girl at a prom?

Hebert Aguilar
Professional Dancer & Choreographer
Herbert Aguilar is a Professional Dancer, Choreographer, and the Director of Timba Heat Dance Company. With more than a decade of experience, he specializes in performing and teaching dance styles such as Cuban Salsa, Hip-Hop, and Acrobatics. Hebert has performed at a variety of venues and locations including San Francisco, Washington, Hawaii, and Miami.

Hebert Aguilar

Professional Dancer & Choreographer

Expert Answer

Latin dances such as Salsa, Bachata, Merengue, or Argentine Tango is the way to go. Latin dance has always been an extremely popular dance to do with a partner or even solo. The best part is if you really know your basics in Latin dances, then you can easily impress anyone and dance with anyone with little to no experience at all.
Question

How do you approach someone and ask if they want to dance?

Hebert Aguilar
Professional Dancer & Choreographer
Herbert Aguilar is a Professional Dancer, Choreographer, and the Director of Timba Heat Dance Company. With more than a decade of experience, he specializes in performing and teaching dance styles such as Cuban Salsa, Hip-Hop, and Acrobatics. Hebert has performed at a variety of venues and locations including San Francisco, Washington, Hawaii, and Miami.

Hebert Aguilar

Professional Dancer & Choreographer

Expert Answer

I always tell my students, “Approach with confidence, even if you don't know much!” What's the worst thing they can say? No? Then that's their loss and you move on to the next person who’s sitting down itching to dance. At the end of the day, it's all about having a good time. Also, don’t be shy to say for your first couple of dances, “I'm a beginner” or “Have patience with me. I'm still learning”. This is the best way to not feel any pressure and most likely the other person will understand and encourage you.

Warnings

Don't brag about your "hot" date if and when she says yes - she doesn't want to be a trophy girl.

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Don't act like asking her is something you want to get over with as soon as possible.

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Be yourself. You don't want her to fall for something you're not!

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Don't pester her if she says no, or she might ruin your chances by telling all of her friends that you are desperate for a date.

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Don't lose your temper or get upset if she says no. Remember that there will be someone else out there for you to go to prom with.

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Don't beg - that is childish and annoying and will not convince her to go with you.

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