How to Insult Somebody Creatively

Last Updated: March 15, 2023

Creatively insulting someone is one way of delivering a quick comeback that settles a score or puts someone back in their place. Whether it's someone who uses insults constantly or is someone who doesn't know where to draw the line on making fun of you, a creative insult can stop the annoying behavior in its tracks.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Keeping Your Calm

1
Think before reacting. If you insult someone without taking a moment to gather your wits, you'll probably just be plain defensive or come across as confused.^{[1]
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Research source} When you insult them, take a small amount of time to think about it. Not too much or they'll catch on, but a long pause is just fine. If you're short on ideas use a previous insult and modify it. Chances are, they won't catch it.
- Take a few deep breaths (draw your breath in noisily if it helps) concentrate on what needs to be said and draw on your pre-rehearsed comebacks (see step 2).
2
Create some insults in your free time. Think up appropriate ways to insult the different people who might insult you. If you have a starting point, the rest will come easier.

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3
Ignore the person(s). If you don't take their insults seriously, they won't be able to insult you seriously.

Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Being Cool

1
Don't react. Instead, just smile and laugh it off. It will make the person wonder what they're doing wrong.
2
Don't swear or resort to "Your mom!" or any other variants such as "That's what she said!" You can use "your mom" jokes to make them be quiet when they are coming up with a comeback to stop them, but they're not creative and people have become used to ignoring them.^{[2]
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Research source}
3
Revert the insult to the one insulting you. If you have a point of pride, and they tried to hit it, realize that it is because of their insecurities. If you then talk about how their insult would apply to them more than you, they are removed of this crucial power and you have pointed out that which is evident––they're projecting their insecurities onto you.
4
Don't get mad. Find their points of pride and insult them on it. If they come up with a comeback, chuckle a bit then say, "It's a bit too late for sarcasm, but thank you." You must remain grounded in your apparent idea that they were complimenting you, they won't believe it, but it will make it harder for them to insult you effectively.^{[3]
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Research source}

Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Reacting Through Good Argument

1
Make fun of them. If you do catch a flaw in their argument, point it out and mock them for it. Once again, it is all about removing their power and therefore increasing yours.

Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Using the Other Person's Frustration

1
Interrupt them when they insult you. If you stop them from insulting you, they will get frustrated and try harder. If so, interrupt them and pick apart their insults.
2
Accept that you won. If they are frustrated, you have essentially won.^{[4]
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Research source} Frustration is the equivalent of an armbar in martial arts, you haven't won yet, but you're about to. This point is critical. You have the choice to either apologize at this point or continue and send them into a swearing or crying wreck. You need to feel when they're frustrated.

Community Q&A

Question

If someone is irritating me with a rumor, what should I do?

Community Answer

Laugh at the rumor and add little more to it...add enough that people finally realize the whole story is fake.
Question

My grandson likes to eat pizza with ketchup on it, and his mean stepdad makes him feel horrible about it - what is a good comeback?

Community Answer

"No wonder my grandson doesn't like you. Stop focusing on the small things that don't matter and start acting like a father/fatherly figure/role model." People like what they like! It's petty and nasty to put them down for that.
Question

I have an enemy who used to be my good friend, but she betrayed me in front of our teacher. How do I insult her by which she gets to know that whatever she has done to me was seriously wrong?

Community Answer

If she used to be your good friend, perhaps you know some of her deep dark secrets or something like that. Bring it up, and she'll realize that she can't act like your friendship never happened.

Warnings

Don't swear!

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When they start swearing, gaping, or crying, stop and leave them alone until they insult you again.

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Things You'll Need

A quick wit that can be honed at most libraries.
A firm center, which comes with self-knowing, and knowing where your insecurities lie. Come at the person with confidence.