How Long Should You Wait for a Second Date? Time Between Dates & When to Ask for the Second Date

Co-authored by Louie Felix and Jessica Gibson

Last Updated: February 25, 2022 References

The first date is over and you're asking yourself, "Now what?" You might feel like you're in a strange limbo between dates, but the good news is you're not alone. Everyone tries to gauge the perfect time between dates, but there's truly no hard and fast rule about how long to wait. Read through these nuanced suggestions to figure out what works for you—you'll be confident and prepared for that second date!

Section 1 of 5:

How long should you wait between the first and second dates?

Go on the second date within a few days to a week after the first date. You want to build on the momentum of the first date, so text or call them to set up the next date. For instance, if you went out on a Tuesday night, you could make plans for the upcoming weekend.^{[1]
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- If you went out on a weekend, you might plan on meeting up during the middle of the next week or make plans for the following weekend.

Section 2 of 5:

When to Ask for the Second Date

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Act quickly if the first date went great—you don't have to follow the 3-day rule. If you two really hit it off, the sooner you ask, the better!^{[2]
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Louie Felix
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.} It's important to signal that you're interested because they're probably wondering how you thought the first date went.^{[3]
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- There are no set rules, so if you want to wait a day before you call or text them, fine. You could even give it a few days, but the longer you wait, the less interested you'll seem.^{[4]
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  Louie Felix
  Dating Coach & Matchmaker
  Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.}
- It's totally fine to send them a text after your first date is over if you really think you're a match. After all, you shouldn't hide the fact that you're really into the person.
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Give it a few more days if you want extra time to think. Waiting tells the other person that you're not sure about a relationship. After the first date, this is perfectly acceptable. The second date should be a continuation of getting to know each other. You can wait to ask or just wait to hear from the other person.^{[5]
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- If you're waiting a few days, you might assume that their lives have gotten busy or maybe you've gotten sidetracked by your own projects and lost track of time. A little space between your first and second dates shouldn't be a big deal.
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Consider if you want to go out if it's been a few weeks. A long break of time can signal disinterest, so decide if you want to wait. You might realize that you two didn't really hit it off and you'd rather accept someone else's offer of a date.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Louie Felix
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.} If it's been a week or two and you're still interested, it's fine to reach out to the other person, but they may not be as keen on a second date if it's taken so long to connect.
- Sometimes, there are perfectly good reasons why someone doesn't call or text after a first date—maybe there was a family emergency or they were dealing with an injury. By reaching out, you at least give them the chance to explain.
- You might realize that you're no longer interested in waiting and that's totally fine! If you haven't heard anything in a week or two, you probably want to move on.

Section 3 of 5:

How can I ask someone on a second date?

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Text or call them with a specific plan in mind. If you know you want to see them again and you're ready to ask them out, think of a good date idea or two and see which one they prefer. If you make actual plans, you're more likely to go on the date than if you call and vaguely suggest that you hang out some time.^{[7]
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- For example, instead of saying, "I had fun the other night. We should do that again sometime," say, "The other night was fun. What do you say we go out this weekend and hit the arcade?"
- Although you can text them to ask for a second date, calling them really signals your interest better.
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Work around each other's schedules. A lot of misunderstanding comes from communication in the early days of dating. Make it clear when you're free for a second date, so you don't leave the other person wondering about whether or not you're interested.
- For instance, if you went out for dinner one weeknight, you might not be free until the following weekend.
- Ask the other what their schedule looks like for the next few days or week when you're discussing a second date. You might say, "How does your weekend look?" or, "Are you free to get dinner together sometime this week?"

Section 4 of 5:

What happens if I wait too long to ask?

You'll risk losing the momentum of the first date. A good first date can leave you feeling energized, curious, and interested in the other person. You want your second date to build on those exciting feelings, so if you wait too long to ask or the other person takes a long time to ask you out, things might feel flat between you.^{[8]
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- It's not the end of the world if some of the spark has gone out—it just means that you'll have to reconnect with them on the second date. Plan on being able to talk one-on-one with them, so you can rekindle interest.

Section 5 of 5:

Is the second date really that important?

The second date gives you a better opportunity to get to know each other. It's also a second chance if you feel like the first date didn't go off as well as it should have. Maybe you were both too nervous or perhaps you got off on the wrong foot. A second date can be a fresh start and you might find that it's easier to talk to each other since you've already had the nerve-wracking first date.^{[9]
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