This article was co-authored by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT. Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.
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Having a crush is a fun and exciting time, but finding out if your crush returns your feelings can be nerve-racking. Be yourself and help the person you like see your best qualities to find a mutual attraction. Don’t let the magical connection of a crush get away because your crush was unaware of how you felt. By showing your best and how much fun it is to be with you, you’re sure to get your feelings returned.
Steps
Getting Yourself Noticed
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1Look your best. Dressing nice with your hair styled is a great way to get noticed in a crowd. Looking your best also provides a level of confidence that helps you get noticed. Before you next see your crush, pick a special outfit and take the extra time to style your hair.[1]
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2Be around your crush. The more often you are with your crush, the more likely they are to like you. This is known as a psychological effect called the proximity effect. Try and find ways to frequently be in the same place as your crush:[2]
- Casually show up to your crush’s workplace if it is somewhere the general public goes.
- Attend sporting events or club meetings that your crush is a part of.
- Hang out with mutual friends and attend social gatherings where you'll see the person you like.
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3Flirt with eye contact. Eye contact is a quick and easy way to flirt and communicate with your crush.[3] Casually glance at your crush for a few seconds to pique the person's interest.[4]
- When the person you like catches you glancing, lock eyes for a moment and then look away to smile to yourself.
- Wait a few minutes and then repeat the glances towards the person.
- If you notice your crush looking at you while you are looking away, turn and lock eyes for a few seconds and smile.
Communicating With Your Crush
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1Build common interests with your crush. Find out what interests and hobbies the person you like is into. Make a point to start learning about or getting interested in a few of your crush’s favorite past times. Shared interests give you a common topic of conversation and the ability to bond over something.[5]
- Ask for tips or advice on beginning a new hobby.
- Talk about current scores or events related to favorite teams.
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2Display positive body language when you’re around your crush. Positive body language conveys a message of openness, friendliness, and approachability. Try these ways to show positive body language the next time you’re talking to your crush.[6]
- Stand with your body at an angle rather than head-on.
- Leave your arms down or with one hand on your hip. Avoid crossing your arms because it sends a message of being closed off.
- Use your hand to play with your hair or run your fingers through your hair.
- Touch your crush's arm or shoulder gently while you're talking.
- Brush up against the person you like and then lock eyes as you politely apologize.
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3Slow down your speech when talking to your crush. Sometimes when people get nervous, they start talking faster. Fast-talking can make others feel uneasy and get a negative vibe from you, so be sure to talk slowly and calmly.
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4Flirt with the person you like.[7] Flirting is the universal sign that someone is attracted to you. Use different flirting techniques when you are around your crush to show you have an attraction and want to build some chemistry together.[8]
- Compliment your crush when you're talking.
- Smile genuinely and laugh at the jokes your crush tells.
- Get the person to talk about life by asking questions, and then validate the person by saying things like “That’s awesome” and “Wow, that sounds hard, but I bet you’re great at it”.
- Talk about topics that are attractive or interesting to the person you like.
Convincing Your Crush to Like You
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1Buy a gift. Show your crush that you care by buying a gift. Choose an inexpensive item like candy or an item that reminds you of a joke you share with your crush.
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2Offer to do things for the person you like. Take on extra responsibility to do things for your crush. Go out of your way to make life easier by offering to help with homework, work assignments, or things around the house.
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3Ask for a date.[9] Take your crush somewhere to show how much fun the two of you can have. Dinner, an active date, and a quiet wrap to the evening ensure that you’ll have a great date night.
- Be brave and tell them how you feel, but do it in a way that could also be interpreted as a kind of playful flirtation.[10]
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do I start a conversation with the guy I like?
Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFTAlysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.
Licensed Relationship TherapistKeep it simple! Start with eye contact, and then slowly work your way up to a conversation. Each time you see him, try to raise the bar a little bit more.
Warnings
- There is no sure way to make someone fall in love with you. If your feelings are not returned, don’t push it.⧼thumbs_response⧽
References
- ↑ http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/get-flirty/how-to-get-your-crush-to-notice-you-and-like-you-back
- ↑ http://www.readunwritten.com/2014/04/08/the-psychology-of-attraction-7-easy-ways-to-win-over-your-crush/
- ↑ Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT. Licensed Relationship Therapist. Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.
- ↑ http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/get-flirty/subtle-eye-contact-flirting
- ↑ http://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/g1757/how-to-get-your-crush/?slide=6
- ↑ http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/02/5-secrets-to-make-people-like-you/
- ↑ Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT. Licensed Relationship Therapist. Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.
- ↑ http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/get-flirty/how-to-get-your-crush-to-notice-you-and-like-you-back
- ↑ Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT. Licensed Relationship Therapist. Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.
- ↑ Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT. Licensed Relationship Therapist. Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.
About This Article
While you can't make someone like you back, being confident and spending time with them can help! Try hanging around in the same places as your crush and take every opportunity to talk to them. Ask them things about themselves, like what music and movies they like, what they do for fun, and how their classes are going, to find things you have in common. Flirt with them a bit by complimenting them, making eye contact, and lightly teasing them. It’s natural to be nervous, but try to relax, be yourself, and enjoy your crush’s company. Don’t take it personally if they don’t like you back, since there are plenty of other people for you. For more tips, including how to ask your crush to hang out alone, read on!
