This article was co-authored by Leah Morris. Leah Morris is a Life and Relationship Transition coach and the owner of Life Remade, a holistic personal coaching service. With over three years as a professional coach, she specializes in guiding people as they move through both short-term and long-term life transitions. Leah holds a BA in Organizational Communication from California State University, Chico and is a certified Transformational Life Coach through the Southwest Institute for Healing Arts.
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Life is busy and it’s easy to fall off the track sometimes. With work, family, and extracurricular demands on our time, it is easy to feel like the world is falling apart all around us. Sometimes taking a break or vacation; talking with a trusted friend or colleague; or reevaluating priorities will help you get your life back on track.
Steps
Organizing Your Life
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1Set reminders. Organize your life more clearly by keeping a schedule so that you will know where and when you are supposed to be somewhere. This will prevent last minute decisions and keep you active and on track.[1]
- Keep track of your exercise routine, when you are meeting family or friends, or even when the dog needs groomed. Everything can be organized to keep you moving forward.
- Take advantage of time-management web applications (or mobile apps) like Google Calendar to schedule out your daily activities, pay bills, or making appointments. The best part is you can adjust reminder settings so that you the calendar can alert you to do something.
- Calendars are available just about everywhere nowadays, even on phones. Take advantage of these services and become familiar with them so it becomes routine.
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2Maintain a routine. Routines are generally good because we do things – brush our teeth, get a shower, comb our hair – because they are good for us and you don’t have to think about doing them. Unfortunately, the same is true for bad habits. It is a good idea to reevaluate the habits in your routine and remove them from your life and replace them with more positive ones.
- It is easier to create goods habits than trying to quit bad habits. Therefore, think of any bad habits you have in your routine and replace them the exact opposite habits. That way, your daily routine stays familiar and your new, good habits naturally (over time) replace the bad ones.
- The benefit of a routine is maintaining the type of lifestyle you want without all the added pressures in making the right decisions. So, you will want to practice healthy and productive habits to make sure your life stays on track.
- When thinking about the habits of your routine take time to visualize what you want your life to look like on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis and take the necessary steps to make it part of your healthy routine.
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3Stick to a schedule. Skipping important dates, extending deadlines, and finishing tasks at the last second creates havoc. This type of lifestyle leads to missed opportunities to grow as an individual and miss meeting friends and colleagues for work and social functions. You will also see work piling up at your desk at work.[2]
- Try not to miss even the small things. Of course, it is okay if you slip up once in a while but if you continue to miss many small things it adds up quickly and you get derailed once again.
- When a routine or activity cannot be fully completed, try to do as much of it as you possibly can so that it remains part of your schedule.
- For example, if you cannot exercise, then walk fast to wherever you going; not enough time to write an article, then write a paragraph; and no time to cook dinner, then just make a salad.
Maintaining Expectations
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1Show up. The good thing about having family, friends, and colleagues is that they expect you to show up for holidays, social outings, and meetings. You become part of the “family” or the “team” and your absence will have a negative impact. Therefore, having expectations placed upon you like this will keep you focused on your goal of getting your life straightened out and focused on the things that matter the most.[3]
- You do not have to necessarily be a part of a team. Make friends doing the activities you enjoy. For example, if you like to work out make some friends at the gym to exercise with. After a while, they will expect you to show up so you can work out together.
- Think about it this way: a team needs all members to participate in some way to achieve success. Being a part of a successful team will motivate and reward you for your part. Don’t live your life in a vacuum, meet expectations and stay focused on your goals.
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2Control the possible. Most people like to think about the things they want or wish they had. The next step – making excuses why you don’t have those things – is a deflated way of thinking that could lead to depression or disinterest and, therefore, taking your focus away from keeping your life on track. [4]
- Spending time thinking about the reasons for why things are withheld from you is a major factor in pushing focus and goals off the track. Instead of thinking “I don’t have enough time,” “I don’t have enough money,” or “I don’t have enough experience” stay focused on the possible and remain positive.
- Remember that most successful people start in the same exact place that you are in: no money, no time, and no experience. Just like them, set reasonable and achievable goals, building confidence and experience along the way. Say affirmations to yourself, “I can do this” to help yourself build confidence and stay motivated.[5]
- Making progress, no matter the time, money, or resources, is always better than lying around thinking about what you can’t do. Do what you can do and you feel the power of progress.
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3Concentrate on the details. We all like to think of the bigger picture of how things will turn out in the end, but overlooking details will make expectations harder to achieve. Looking only at the optimal picture, important details will be missing and the conclusions you jump to will lack important patterns and relationships. Therefore, you are more likely not to be able to distinguish relationships between ideas that are critical to a complete understanding of what the bigger picture entails.[6]
- Strive for balance so that you do not get overwhelmed and abandon your goals. It’s okay to visualize the optimal picture, but realize that it is all the little details that will make accomplishing your goal special.
- It might be a good idea to write down the process or steps that you need to take to achieve your dream. Then, think about all of the things you need to do under each of the steps to complete it and move forward. An outline, brainstorm web, or map will help keep things organized.
- Evaluate each step you take and summarize the results.
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4Create a successful environment. Motivation, inspiration, and willpower – These general desires come and go and rarely can be maintained in the long-term. Rather than rely on them, create an environment for you to succeed. This includes people, places, and events that influence your behavior. [7]
- Your environment can trigger a wide-range of responses. The pictures on the wall, the desk you work at, the coffee shop you go to, and the people you see all influence the actions you take. Make sure to notice these influences and change the scenery for an optimal environment.
- Environment impacts mood as well. Choose an environment that is comfortable, well-lit, fresh air, and has happy people.
- Environmental change can also relate to behavior. If you have a habit of forgetting, you can make changes to the environment to be more successful in daily life. For example, a simple change such as placing your journal beside your house keys to remind you to make an entry before leaving the house will take one more responsibility off of your mind and lessen stress.
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5Take interest in your success. Make sure the route you take is sincere and will help you get your life back on track. Don’t get caught up in chasing things you really are not interested in because if you fail to achieve your pursuit, it could lead to negative feelings of being a loser or failure. Care about what you are doing and your chances of success will be much greater.[8]
- If you have trouble achieving all of your goals try to focus on successfully mastering one at a time. If you really care about that goal or habit, you will work hard to make it successful. If not, then maybe it is not as important as you thought.
- Keeping your life on track is difficult. Therefore, anticipate setbacks, missteps, and complications, but don’t give up. Develop a well thought out plan that will successfully put you back in the place you want to be in.
Staying Focused
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1Confront your fears. One easy way to get off track is by living in fear. A decision, on your part, has to be made to emerge from the fear of the future. Nobody knows the future so don’t let it be a barrier to a successful future. Hold yourself accountable by being consistent, dependable, and innovative.[9]
- Action can build your courage. Embrace your fears so that you can move past them and open your world to new possibilities of realizing who you really are.
- Positive thinking breeds success. Instead of always anticipating the worst train yourself to always expect the best out of all that you do.
- Lean on your family and friends for support. They tend to see your strengths whenever you have forgotten them and are often full of praise and encouragement.
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2Reset your life. Repeating failure will result in repeating failure. Break the cycle by resetting your life for success. The important step in resetting your life is to put everything in its proper place so that you can excel in all areas of your life. In other words, live your daily life so that it collides with your dreams and values. If you think your values have changed, reassess what's important to you. That way, you can focus on what skills and habits need to change in your life.[10]
- Breaking the cycle of failure is not easy. At some point, you will have to interrupt the way you think, act, or feel to reset your life. All three are interconnected but concentrating on changing one link can lead to changes in the other two links.
- Interrupt your thinking by improving the answers to your problems. These ideas cannot originate in thin air so take time to read books and articles, ask a professional or colleague, or brainstorm with friends for new ideas.
- Interrupt your feeling by channeling your emotions to receive positive thinking that produces the results that you want. For example, keep a journal, review your goals regularly, surround yourself with positive people and ideas, and change your physiology to trigger a positive set of feelings.
- Interrupt your actions by changing what you are currently doing. You might have to experiment first to decide what actions to focus on but, generally, start working on new ideas as soon as you can, modify your habits, stop performing negative actions, and try to experience as much as you can to see what does and doesn’t work.
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3Commit to new priorities.[11] Be aware of old habits, they are hard to break. Make a new commitment that holds you responsible and accountable for engaging in new priorities. A commitment is more than just changing your actions, you must also change your attitude.[12]
- Take fifteen minutes a day and think about what makes you feel rejuvenated, relaxed, and happy and keep a list so that you can continue to concentrate on those feelings.
- Learn to say no to things that don’t interest you or harm your well-being. If you need help in doing this, then seek out a friend or family member to aid you.
- Create a daily ritual like taking a walk, listening to peaceful music, or sitting out in a park to give yourself time to evaluate your day and to remind yourself of your new priorities.
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4Evaluate your choices. Remember decisions greatly impact your life. Nothing in your life will change until you take time to evaluate the lifestyle choices you have made. Making poor choices is one of the most frequent reasons why people get off track. Your choices must line up with your goals otherwise you will suffer from the powerless cycle of indecision and deviate from the positive changes you want to make in your life.[13]
- Begin the process of getting your life back on track by making quality decisions. Once you decide to make change, you must make a commitment to those decisions to reach your goals.
Recovering from a Traumatic Experience
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1Recognize your symptoms. Realize that trauma is caused by abnormal circumstances, such as job loss, divorce, or a humiliating experience. Although the experience may make you feel like you are out of control, recognizing the symptoms of post-traumatic stress syndrome will help you recover much quicker by finding the help you need.[14]
- Trauma has both physical and emotional symptoms. Physical symptoms consist of fatigue, difficulty concentrating, edginess and agitation, and muscle tension while emotional symptoms are shock, denial, guilt, sadness, irritability, and anxiety.
- Symptoms can last from just a few days or a couple of months. Although you may feel better as time moves forward, you could still be troubled from time to time by agonizing memories triggered by the anniversary of the event or by an image, person, or sound that reminds of you of the experience.
- Grieving is a normal emotion following trauma. The natural reaction to trauma is grief. Although grieving is painful, it allows you talk about how you feel and makes it easier to get support from others. Don’t try to withhold the grieving process, it is important for recovery.
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2Talk to somebody you trust. After a traumatic experience, it is a good idea to talk to family, friends, or colleagues about your thoughts, feelings, and reactions to what happened to you. There is no set length of time for how long you will need to talk about it. In other words, keep talking until you are ready to stop.
- The people you surround yourself with are very important at this point. Try to associate with positive people in an uplifting environment. Emotions are contagious and you will need to be around people with a lot of positive energy.
- Turn to family, friends, and colleagues who will stand behind and encourage you. They can provide emotional support until an opportunity comes along to help you recover.
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3Create a positive environment. A feeling of safety and tranquility in your immediate environment will help you to relax your mind and calm your symptoms. Avoid getting yourself into situations that are disorganized, chaotic, or full of discord. Instead, seek out harmony and peace to help get yourself back on track. [15]
- Buy fresh flowers and place them throughout your house.
- Light non-fragrant candles to give a feeling of calm and relaxation.
- Open the blinds and let the natural sunshine in. Sun provides warmth and happiness.
- Play soothing music and read a relaxing book.
- Remove clutter because it appears distracting and feels chaotic and disordered.
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4Resume normal activity. Take time to recover but do not be a recluse forever. Resume your normal activities and routines as quickly as you can. Traumatic events throw you into chaos, routines bring stability and structure brings security. Get your life back on track!
- People who have traumatic experiences often feel that extra time off to relax is what they need to recover. It is, however, critical to get back on your feet as soon as possible. In other words, days turn into weeks and weeks into months. This is valuable time off that could be spent getting your life back on track.
- Try to participate in social activities, even if you don’t feel like it. Being around other people and doing relatively normal things will help you integrate back into society.
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5Get the proper nutrition and exercise. Mental and emotional resilience demands the proper nutrition and exercise. Focus on taking care of yourself and do whatever it takes to feel healthy and fit. According to research, exercise builds resilience against stress. Turn negative feelings and emotions into positive ones through proper nutrition and exercise.[16]
- Regular exercise will release serotonin (contributes to wellbeing and happiness), endorphins (reduces pain), and dopamine (controls rewards and pleasures in the brain). Exercise also increases self-esteem and improves sleep patterns. Try to get at least thirty minutes of exercise every day.
- Eating a well-balanced diet will keep your energy levels up, minimize mood swings, and keep you mentally and physically fit. Try sticking with foods rich in omega-3 fats such as fish, walnuts, and soybeans to keep your mood positive.
- As a part of your daily exercise routine, make time for relaxation techniques found in stretching, yoga, and mediation to bring your life back into balance and reduce stress.
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6Seek professional help. If you cannot stop thinking about your trauma or it begins to overtake your life or your happiness, it is time to seek out a psychotherapist. Recovery takes time, but if you are still experiencing symptoms from your traumatic experience months or years later, then you need to find a trauma expert.[17]
- If you are having difficulty functioning at home or work, suffering from severe anxiety or depression, experiencing flashbacks, avoiding friends and family, or using drugs or alcohol to cope with your problems, it is time to seek out professional help.
- Choose a psychotherapist that you feel comfortable with and who has experience dealing with trauma. After all, dealing with trauma is a scary and painful experience that could be relived or re-traumatizing at any time. Make sure you feel respected and understood by your therapist.
- A professional therapist will concentrate on processing your feelings, discharging negative energy, teaching how to regulate strong emotions, and building trusting relationships as part of the recovery process.
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7Focus on your future. It’s easy to relive the past and think about all the things you wished you could have changed, but there is nothing you can do to change the past. Naturally, you will think about your traumatic experience, get angry with others, wonder what went wrong. Instead, think positively about what the future holds for you.
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do you get your life back on track?Leah MorrisLeah Morris is a Life and Relationship Transition coach and the owner of Life Remade, a holistic personal coaching service. With over three years as a professional coach, she specializes in guiding people as they move through both short-term and long-term life transitions. Leah holds a BA in Organizational Communication from California State University, Chico and is a certified Transformational Life Coach through the Southwest Institute for Healing Arts.
Life CoachMost people start to feel lost in life when their values no longer align with what they're currently doing. Take a good hard look at yourself and assess what's most important to you. Then, address what needs to change in your life to fit that set of values.
References
- ↑ http://mashable.com/2014/10/21/daily-tasks-auto-pilot/#plFSkQPmzmqJ
- ↑ http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/234145
- ↑ http://jamesclear.com/get-back-on-track
- ↑ http://jamesclear.com/get-back-on-track
- ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.
- ↑ http://faculty.bucks.edu/specpop/bigpic.htm
- ↑ http://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/explore-healing-practices/healing-environment/what-impact-does-environment-have-us
- ↑ http://jamesclear.com/get-back-on-track
- ↑ http://inspiyr.com/get-life-back-track/
- ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.
- ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.
- ↑ http://inspiyr.com/get-life-back-track/
- ↑ http://inspiyr.com/get-life-back-track/
- ↑ https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/post-traumatic-stress-disorder#1
- ↑ https://www.psychguides.com/pstsd/treatment/
- ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/emotional-and-psychological-trauma.htm#signs
- ↑ https://www.psychguides.com/pstsd/treatment/