How to Flirt With a Girl on the Phone

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: March 9, 2023 References

Talking with a girl on the phone can be a great way to flirt with her. When you talk on the phone, you'll miss out on some of the body language and eye contact that an in-person conversation might have. But talking on the phone gives you the chance to really focus on what the girl is saying, and to make a good impression with your sense of humor and listening skills.

Method 1

Method 1 of 5:

Getting Ready to Make the Call

1
Choose a good time to talk. When you're calling a girl, you don't necessarily want to set up a specific time that you'll call. But you should choose a good time when you have some time to devote to talking. Then, you won't feel rushed in the conversation. She'll wonder why you called her when you only have a few minutes to talk.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Patti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.}
- If she can't talk when you call, ask when it will be a good time to call back. She might be at work or at an appointment. Let her choose a time for you to call her, and then be sure to call her at that time.
2
Choose a good location. Make sure you're in a good spot when you call her. Don't call when you're on the bus or walking through a really crowded area. It can be hard to hear her or your voice might go in and out. Even worse, your call might drop and you'll lose the connection.

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3
Clear your throat. Don't start off the conversation with a frog in your throat that will make your voice sound weird. Clear your throat or give a little cough to make sure your voice sounds clear.
- If you have a really bad cold and your nose is plugged up, it will be harder for her to understand you over the phone. You can still call to say hi, but keep the conversation short. Cut your conversation short by telling her you're going to get some rest so you can be well for when you get together in person.
4
Don't eat while talking. The sound of someone eating can be really off-putting, and if you are chomping on a burger or slurping down a milkshake, the phone might amplify that noise. It will also be harder to understand you if you're chewing in the middle of a sentence.
5
Don't wait 3 days to call. Some dating advice recommends that you should wait 3 days after getting a phone number before you call a girl. This is terrible advice. Show her that you're interested by calling when you want to call.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Patti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.} This might even be the day after you met her. If you wait too long, she'll just be annoyed and think you don't consider her to be very important.^{[3]
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Research source}

Method 2

Method 2 of 5:

Using a Good Phone Voice

1
Deepen your voice slightly. A deeper voice will make it a little bit easier for her to understand what you're saying. It will also be more soothing and comforting to hear a deeper voice. Keep your voice gentle, soft and friendly.^{[4]
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Research source}
- Try to keep your voice modulated so you're not shouting or yelling. You can certainly exclaim if the conversation calls for it, but being too emphatic over the phone can come across the wrong way.
2
Don't talk too fast or too slow. Make sure the girl can understand what you're saying. Slow down your speech so you're talking at a normal pace (but not so slow that you sound awkward). Keep your voice relaxed and even.
3
Smile over the phone. Even though she won't be able to see you, she can still hear a smile in your voice when you talk. Keep your body relaxed and sit in a comfortable position when you talk on the phone. Smile when she says something funny or when you're telling a story.
- Try recording your voice when you're smiling and when you're not smiling. Listen to the difference in your voice.

Method 3

Method 3 of 5:

Making Conversation

1
Keep the conversation light and funny. Use your sense of humor to make jokes and tell funny stories.^{[5]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Talk about interesting people you encounter or funny things that have happened to you.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Patti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.}
- Don't joke so much that everything you say is a joke. Remember, she's just getting to know you, so show her that she can trust what you say.
- You might tease her a little, but don't be mean. Be sure to listen carefully to her response. If she seems to get colder when you tease her, let up.
2
Make small talk. Flirting over the phone doesn't work as well when you're talking about heavy or controversial topics. Choose topics that are easy to talk about, such as movies or travel.
- You can also follow up on something that you talked about in a previous conversation.
3
Keep the conversation clean. When you're just getting to know someone, you don't want to offend her or making her feel uncomfortable by talking dirty.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Patti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.} You'll just come across as a creep and she'll want to get off the phone.
- When you get into a relationship with this girl, then you can think about making the conversation more risqué, but only if she's comfortable with that. For now, however, keep it clean.
4
Talk about when you met. You may have just met this girl and you exchanged phone numbers. Talking about your initial meeting is a good topic of conversation to lead with. Talk about something funny that happened when you were together, or talk about the people she was with.
- Show interest in her life, although be careful about asking too many questions about her friends. She might get the wrong idea and think you're more interested in one of them than you are interested in her.
5
Make a date to meet in person again. Use your phone conversation for a dual purpose. You're re-establishing the camaraderie and attraction that you may have started in person by getting to know this girl. You can also use the phone call to set up a date to meet in person.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Patti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.}
- Make a light joke. If the girl says she'd like to meet at 3 o'clock, you can say, “I don't think I want to stuck with you all day. Let's meet up at 3:03 instead.”
6
Be yourself. It sounds cliché, but try to be yourself. If you are trying too hard or being false, it will come across in the phone call. Keep yourself relaxed and natural.

Method 4

Method 4 of 5:

Focusing on the Girl

1
Give her compliments. Everybody likes to hear positive things about themselves. Make this girl feel good about herself by giving her compliments.^{[9]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Compliment her on her sense of humor, her hairstyle, how well she does her job, and so on.
- Some people start to feel uncomfortable with too many compliments. Keep your compliments light yet meaningful, and don't go overboard.
2
Use her name every so often. Personalize the phone call by using the girl's name periodically throughout your conversation. Don't say her name at the start of every sentence, but throw it in casually every now and then so she feels special.
3
Listen to what she says. It can be difficult to convey that you are listening to someone, since you can't rely on eye contact and body language. But you can do other things to show that you're listening to what the girl is saying.^{[10]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Try agreeing with or reacting to her statements, such as, “Really?” or “Oh no!”
- If you pay attention to what she says, she'll feel encouraged to keep talking.
4
Avoid other distractions while talking. Keep the conversation going by focusing only on her. Don't check your email or surf the internet while you're talking to her. She can tell when you're distracted and will feel like you're not interested in giving her your full attention.

Method 5

Method 5 of 5:

Using Texting to Flirt with a Girl

1
Text an inside joke. If the girl gave you her number and you want to start texting with her, a good starting point is to text about something you will both laugh about. Maybe there's an inside joke or something that you both have in common that you can message about.
- Stay away from texting something boring like, “How are you?” This will probably only get you a boring answer and it won't engage her very much.
2
Mention details. Send a text with specific details about the last time you were together in person. For example, you might say, “I loved you in that red dress the other day.” She'll feel special that you remembered these details.^{[11]
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3
Don't text too much. Sending 20 texts in different parts of the day will likely be overwhelming. Stick to 3 or 4 text sessions where you send her a quick message and respond a few times to her texts.^{[12]
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Expert Source

Patti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.}^{[13]
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Research source}
4
Don't rely only on texting. Texting is a good supplement to other interactions, like meeting up in person or talking on the phone. Texting can help you flirt, but it shouldn't be the only way you flirt with someone. Even if you're shy, you should get to know this girl by talking on the phone or going on a casual outing together.
5
Don't get upset if she doesn't text back. A girl might be at work or busy doing something and can't always immediately text back. She might not be into texting and would prefer a phone call. Get a feel for how she responds to your texts and don't take it personally.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I find a suitable girlfriend?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

You can find a suitable girlfriend anywhere and everywhere. Do not restrict yourself to particular days or places to find the right person. There are many attractive people around. For example, you may find her in bookstores, supermarkets, coffee shops, or a subway car.
Question

What should you do to start a conversation with a girl?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

When you have an attraction toward someone, make eye contact with them. Say hello in a soft tone. Give them enough space and distance. Let them feel safe. You can offer a compliment or start talking about something in the situation. For example, if you are standing in line at the coffee shop, you can say that you are buying an oatmeal cappuccino and ask them about their favorite drink.