How to Feel Special

Every person loves to feel special about herself. However, there are times when you might not feel so special or have much self-esteem. But there are many different ways you can make yourself—and others—feel special. In fact, studies have shown that generosity can make you and the person you treat feel special.[1] By actively boosting your self-esteem, maintaining it, and having solid relationships you can feel special anytime!

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Boosting Your Self-Esteem Quickly

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    Wear a special outfit. Body image is a major part of feeling good and special about yourself.[2] Put on a special outfit or item to remind yourself throughout the day that you’re special.
    • Buy a new outfit or piece of clothing as a treat and then wear it.
    • Pick out a special piece of clothing to wear that you associate with a happy time.
    • Put on a piece of jewelry, such as earrings, that remind you of a special time or person. Looking at them throughout the day can help remind you how special you are.
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    Try a new hairstyle. Just as with what you wear, having an appealing appearance with a new or amped up hairstyle can help make you feel special.[3] Consider getting a newer and more flattering hairstyle or allow yourself to get a blowout or a tough-up at the barber shop. These options are all likely to get you compliments that help you feel even more special.[4]
    • Get a new hairstyle or just freshen up the one you have. The pampering at a salon will feel good and looking a bit more polished can also help you feel better.[5]
    • Consider getting a special style just for the day if you don’t want to make a change. For example, if you have long hair, you could have your stylist give you an intricate braid or beachy ‘do.[6]
    • Get a blowout. Allowing someone to wash your hair will help you relax and feel better and then getting your stylist to carefully blow dry your hair can leave you feeling happy and special for a couple of days.
    • Go to a the barber shop for some pampering if you're a man. Get a trim, a little styling, and maybe even a shave so you feel fresh and clean.
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    Give yourself a gift. Presents often make anyone feel special and can lift the spirits.[7] Buy yourself a gift to feel and remind yourself that you are special.[8]
    • Buy something that you’ve really wanted. For example, if there’s a shirt or climbing ropes you’ve wanted, allow yourself to finally get them.
    • Remember that you don’t have to break the bank. Even something as simple as a new nail polish or fishing lure can help you feel special.[9]
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    Enjoy some pampering. Schedule some time to get pampered by another person. Treatments such as a massage or pedicure or personal training session can focus attention on your and make you feel special.[10]
    • Schedule time at a spa for a massage, pedicure, or manicure. Although some men might consider them girly, these options can also be great ways to help men relax and feel doted upon.
    • Personal training sessions or taking private lessons at something you love can also be a form of pampering yourself. The focus is on you and the trainer will likely give you a lot of support and praise.
    • Pamper yourself at home, too. For example, you can set up your bathroom with candles and soothing music. Give yourself a hand and foot massage or invite your partner into your pampering zone and enjoy it together.[11]
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

Maintaining Your Self-Esteem

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    Pursue a new activity or dream. You may have always wanted to try a certain activity or have a specific dream you’ve wanted to follow. Start taking steps to pursue either, which may help remind you of how special you are.[12]
    • Start small. You don’t have to give up anything to pursue new activities or dream. For example, maybe your dream is to spend a month in India looking at art. Buy yourself a book on Indian art and select places you’d like to visit. As time goes by, keep making steps to get you towards this goal.
    • Have confidence in your decision. It can often take a while to master a new activity or even reach a dream. Continue to have confidence in what you’re pursuing to help remind yourself that you are special and deserve this.
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    Reduce stress. Having a lot of stress can undermine your self-esteem. Stay away from stressful situations as much as you can, which can help maintain your self-esteem and allow you to feel special.[13]
    • Limit your exposure to stressful situations. If you can’t, take a deep breath and keep yourself from reacting immediately or at all to keep tension at bay.
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    Spend some time alone. People are saturated with constant contact in today’s world. Give yourself a chance to enjoy some unplugged alone time so that you can focus on yourself, relax, and recognize that you are special.
    • Do something that you enjoy or don’t often get a chance to do alone.
    • Leave any devices at home so that you can truly unplug and enjoy yourself.
    • Remind yourself during your alone time that you deserve to relax and focus on you.
    • Repeat a mantra to yourself. For example, “I’m really enjoying this walk through the fall leaves. Being in the sun and nature makes me feel beautiful and special. Good for me for taking the time off to enjoy this.”[14]
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    Set up a daily meditation and mantra practice. Meditation and mantra practice is a powerful method that can improve your focus on yourself and help you relax. Give yourself a few minutes a day to meditate and repeat positive mantras to yourself to remind yourself that you are special.[15]
    • Start meditating and repeating mantras for five to ten 10 minutes a day and gradually increase your time.
    • Practice in a quiet and comfortable place where no one can interrupt you. This can help you let go of negative thoughts or sensations.
    • Sit upright and still and close your eyes.
    • Breathe easily and evenly and don’t control your breath. Let it come and go as it will.
    • Repeat a mantra to yourself after a few minutes. For example, you could say “I have much to offer the world and am special. I love and am loved.”
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    Find the humor and positive in every situation. Every challenge likely has positive and humorous aspects. Although you might not see them right away, being able to eventually laugh about challenges can help keep your perspective and self-esteem positive.[16]
    • Allow negative thoughts to come and go. They can be draining and undermine your self-esteem.[17]
    • Seek the positive in every aspect of your life to boost your self esteem and remind yourself that you are special.[18] For example, if you fail a test, see what answers you did answer correctly and focus on those. Remind yourself, “I did a great job on that question and can use it to help me with others in the future.”
    • Studies have shown that staying positive can contribute significantly to success and happiness, which can make you feel special.[19]
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    Exercise regularly. Body image and self-esteem are closely connected.[20] Aiming to get exercise or activities most days of the week can produce endorphins that improve your mood and help you feel special.[21]
    • Start by taking short walks. Even small amount of exercise can help you feel better. For example, go for a ten minute walk, which can help you relax as well as give you a chance to see all of the positive in your life.[22]
    • Get at least 150 minutes of moderate exercise every week or 75 minutes of vigorous exercise.[23]
    • Meeting fitness goals can help you feel special and help you achieve a more positive body image.[24]
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    Eat a healthy diet. A good diet can help boost your exercise efforts and your mood.[25] Choose nutritious foods throughout the week to boost your health and make yourself feel special.[26]
    • Prepare yourself a favorite food or special meal a couple of times a week. You don’t need a specific reason, but either of these options may make you feel more special.
    • Treat yourself to a meal at a restaurant when you can. Allowing someone to serve you can make you feel special.
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    Stay away from booze and drugs. Although having an occasional drink is acceptable, using drugs and alcohol can only momentarily make you feel better. In fact, in the long run, they may make you feel not special at all.[27]
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    Sleep on a regular schedule. Sleep is very important to your physical and mental health.[28] Get 7-9 hours of sleep every night to keep yourself feeling good, which can make it easy to see the positive and embrace how special you are.[29]
    • Take a short nap of 20-30 minutes if you need one.[30]
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Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

Having Special Relationships

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    Surround yourself with positive people. Choose to have positive and supportive people around you. These individuals will remind you of how special you are.[31]
    • Limit contact with negative forces as much as you can.[32]
    • Lean on your group when you’re feeling down or not special.[33]
    • Share special news or information with your group. They’ll often provide praise that can continue to help you feel special.[34]
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    Talk to someone special to you. If you’re not feeling great and want to boost yourself, have a chat with a friend or family member. This person can offer support and remind you just how special you are.[35]
    • Be aware that talking about your feelings may be more helpful than keeping them to yourself.[36] For example, you can say “I just don’t feel like I contribute anything to my team at work.” Discuss this with your special person and accept that they’ll offer you reasons why you are special to the team — and her.[37]
    • Make an appointment with a mental health professional if you don’t feel comfortable talking to family or friends. A therapist or counselor can often help you realize just how special you are.[38]
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    Show affection. Being affectionate with someone can make the person and you feel special.[39] Even something as simple as a hug can do wonders for both of you.
    • Give someone a hug or a kiss and hold her for just a second longer than usual.[40]
    • Remind the person how special she is to you.[41] For example, you can say “You are such a special and important person in my life.”
    • Offer reassurance if the person is feeling down. In many cases, she'll reciprocate when you need to feel special.[42]
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    Treat someone. Just as you like to treat and pamper yourself, you can do this for someone else. Studies have shown that generosity is closely linked to happiness and you may find that making someone else feel special will also make you feel special.[43]
    • Invite someone to a meal, event, or something else he enjoys. It doesn’t have to be anything grand, even the smallest of gestures can make you both feel better.[44]
    • Give a small gift to someone else with a heartfelt card. For example, you could give your best friend a bottle of nail polish she wanted with a card letting her know how much she means to you. Likewise, you could invite a friend to go fishing and present him with a new lure you two had discussed.
    • Consider volunteering at a local shelter or soup kitchen. Helping others may help them and you feel special.
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Expert Q&A

  • Question
    How can I feel special on an otherwise boring day?
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Jennifer Guttman, is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, Clinical Psychologist, and the Founder of the Sustainable Life Satisfaction®, a motivational and lifestyle platform. With over 30 years of experience and practice in New York City and Westport, Dr. Guttman specializes in treating people struggling with acute behavioral disorders stemming from anxiety, depression, stress, attention deficit, and phobias. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Drew University and a Doctor of Psychology from Long Island University. Dr. Guttman is the author of "A Path To Life Satisfaction Workbook (2018),” a monthly blog contributor to Psychology Today and Thrive Global, and a contributor to articles in major publications, media sites, and podcasts including The Washington Post, Reader's Digest, Redbook, Teen Vogue, Health, mindbodygreen.com, Harvesting Happiness, and Unshakable Self-Confidence.
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Tackle some tasks, complete them, and then affirm yourself for being productive! It always feels good to get things done, and you'll give yourself a big boost just by accomplishing something you may have been putting off.
  • Question
    How can I feel better about myself?
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Jennifer Guttman, is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, Clinical Psychologist, and the Founder of the Sustainable Life Satisfaction®, a motivational and lifestyle platform. With over 30 years of experience and practice in New York City and Westport, Dr. Guttman specializes in treating people struggling with acute behavioral disorders stemming from anxiety, depression, stress, attention deficit, and phobias. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Drew University and a Doctor of Psychology from Long Island University. Dr. Guttman is the author of "A Path To Life Satisfaction Workbook (2018),” a monthly blog contributor to Psychology Today and Thrive Global, and a contributor to articles in major publications, media sites, and podcasts including The Washington Post, Reader's Digest, Redbook, Teen Vogue, Health, mindbodygreen.com, Harvesting Happiness, and Unshakable Self-Confidence.
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Self-affirmations are essential. You have to take stock of your value, integrity, loyalty, and honesty. Taking a step back allows you to get some perspective and fully appreciate yourself.
  • Question
    How can I treat myself?
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Jennifer Guttman, is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, Clinical Psychologist, and the Founder of the Sustainable Life Satisfaction®, a motivational and lifestyle platform. With over 30 years of experience and practice in New York City and Westport, Dr. Guttman specializes in treating people struggling with acute behavioral disorders stemming from anxiety, depression, stress, attention deficit, and phobias. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Drew University and a Doctor of Psychology from Long Island University. Dr. Guttman is the author of "A Path To Life Satisfaction Workbook (2018),” a monthly blog contributor to Psychology Today and Thrive Global, and a contributor to articles in major publications, media sites, and podcasts including The Washington Post, Reader's Digest, Redbook, Teen Vogue, Health, mindbodygreen.com, Harvesting Happiness, and Unshakable Self-Confidence.
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Take yourself to the movies. Go get a massage. You can even buy yourself flowers. Do whatever it is you'd normally want someone else to do for you, for yourself. There's nothing wrong with pampering yourself!
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References

  1. ↑ http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/therese-borchard-sanity-break/how-generosity-makes-you-happier-person/
  2. ↑ http://youngwomenshealth.org/2012/05/30/self-esteem/
  3. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vivian-diller-phd/good-hair-day_b_1191203.html
  4. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vivian-diller-phd/good-hair-day_b_1191203.html
  5. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vivian-diller-phd/good-hair-day_b_1191203.html
  6. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vivian-diller-phd/good-hair-day_b_1191203.html
  7. ↑ http://www.acrwebsite.org/search/view-conference-proceedings.aspx?Id=7084
  8. ↑ http://www.acrwebsite.org/search/view-conference-proceedings.aspx?Id=7084
  9. ↑ http://www.acrwebsite.org/search/view-conference-proceedings.aspx?Id=7084
  1. ↑ http://www.chicagonow.com/gwynspiration-weight-loss/2013/03/pamper-yourself-to-boost-self-esteem-and-happiness/
  2. ↑ http://www.chicagonow.com/gwynspiration-weight-loss/2013/03/pamper-yourself-to-boost-self-esteem-and-happiness/
  3. ↑ http://tinybuddha.com/blog/70-ways-make-others-feel-special/
  4. ↑ Jennifer Guttman, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 26 July 2021.
  5. ↑ Jennifer Guttman, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 26 July 2021.
  6. ↑ http://www.ananda.org/meditation/meditation-support/articles/increase-your-concentration/
  7. ↑ http://youngwomenshealth.org/2012/05/30/self-esteem/
  8. ↑ http://tinybuddha.com/blog/stop-being-hard-on-yourself-5-tips-for-learning-life-lessons/
  9. ↑ http://youngwomenshealth.org/2012/05/30/self-esteem/
  10. ↑ http://tinybuddha.com/blog/stop-being-hard-on-yourself-5-tips-for-learning-life-lessons/
  11. ↑ http://youngwomenshealth.org/2012/05/30/self-esteem/
  12. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/lifestyle-home-remedies/con-20032977
  13. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/lifestyle-home-remedies/con-20032977
  14. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/expert-answers/exercise/faq-20057916
  15. ↑ http://youngwomenshealth.org/2012/05/30/self-esteem/
  16. ↑ http://youngwomenshealth.org/2012/05/30/self-esteem/
  17. ↑ http://youngwomenshealth.org/2012/05/30/self-esteem/
  18. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/lifestyle-home-remedies/con-20032977
  19. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/lifestyle-home-remedies/con-20032977
  20. ↑ http://sleepfoundation.org/how-sleep-works/how-much-sleep-do-we-really-need/page/0/1
  21. ↑ http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/getting/overcoming/tips
  22. ↑ http://tinybuddha.com/blog/increasing-self-esteem-happiness-8-steps-fulfilled-life/
  23. ↑ http://tinybuddha.com/blog/increasing-self-esteem-happiness-8-steps-fulfilled-life/
  24. ↑ http://tinybuddha.com/blog/increasing-self-esteem-happiness-8-steps-fulfilled-life/
  25. ↑ http://tinybuddha.com/blog/increasing-self-esteem-happiness-8-steps-fulfilled-life/
  26. ↑ http://youngwomenshealth.org/2012/05/30/self-esteem/
  27. ↑ http://youngwomenshealth.org/2012/05/30/self-esteem/
  28. ↑ http://youngwomenshealth.org/2012/05/30/self-esteem/
  29. ↑ http://youngwomenshealth.org/2012/05/30/self-esteem/
  30. ↑ http://tinybuddha.com/blog/70-ways-make-others-feel-special/
  31. ↑ http://tinybuddha.com/blog/70-ways-make-others-feel-special/
  32. ↑ http://tinybuddha.com/blog/70-ways-make-others-feel-special/
  33. ↑ http://tinybuddha.com/blog/70-ways-make-others-feel-special/
  34. ↑ http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/therese-borchard-sanity-break/how-generosity-makes-you-happier-person/
  35. ↑ http://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/therese-borchard-sanity-break/how-generosity-makes-you-happier-person/

About This Article

Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
Co-authored by:
Jennifer Guttman, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
This article was co-authored by Jennifer Guttman, PsyD. Dr. Jennifer Guttman, is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, Clinical Psychologist, and the Founder of the Sustainable Life Satisfaction®, a motivational and lifestyle platform. With over 30 years of experience and practice in New York City and Westport, Dr. Guttman specializes in treating people struggling with acute behavioral disorders stemming from anxiety, depression, stress, attention deficit, and phobias. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Drew University and a Doctor of Psychology from Long Island University. Dr. Guttman is the author of "A Path To Life Satisfaction Workbook (2018),” a monthly blog contributor to Psychology Today and Thrive Global, and a contributor to articles in major publications, media sites, and podcasts including The Washington Post, Reader's Digest, Redbook, Teen Vogue, Health, mindbodygreen.com, Harvesting Happiness, and Unshakable Self-Confidence. This article has been viewed 18,567 times.
1 votes - 100%
Co-authors: 16
Updated: December 7, 2022
Views: 18,567
Categories: Self Esteem
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